Walking behind a stranger....

That's how it felt, walking behind my young man, in his suit, with straight hair!
It was all very much worth it.........xxx

Where has the time gone...

No more sleeps!
Nope, the leavers dinner is tonight.....
We went to the grade 10 leavers presentation evening last night.
It was a nice evening, the musical talent was outstanding.
Most of the awards were won by the grade 10 prefects - so nothing much has changed there, or students whose parents are on the parents and friends committee!
That's o.k. - they have all worked hard and deserve it.
I was mildly disappointed that Zach wasn't selected for an award (they gave out at least 100). I guess he has slipped through the cracks in that department - plus he's so quiet compared to how he once was - the loudest in the class in primary school.
I don't think anyone could every full understand what he has overcome since primary school, there are some that have overcome much more of course - but a little recognition would have been nice.
I saw the 'funny' peer awards nominations that some of the kids had written, Zach was nominated by his friends as "Most changed" it would be nice if the teachers could acknowledge that too. Anyway - he's my winner for sure.

We have had some in depth and serious talks this week about the 'after party' and how to handle certain situations.....he is not easily led, and doesn't feel the need to impress anyone, so I am hoping he makes the right choices tonight.

The reality of it all started to sink in last night, on the way home.
Tomorrow they have a picnic - mystery bus ride apparently - but anyone that is 'hung over' won't be invited. WTF???

I'm feeling weird and all over the place, in my mind that is, I think if I let myself dwell on it I could be a bit of a mess.
On the outside I'm looking organised and appear to have it all under control.
Not just the leaving school stuff, but work, finances, Lachlan and no doctors appointment, no end in sight.......Big A was ALMOST going back on shift work, which would solve one of our issues, but no they changed their minds and I was disappointed....wasn't meant to be at the moment I suppose - maybe at the end of February. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough in all areas of my life, and the constant criticism is hard to shrug off at times. I try and be, and give all that I can - but it's never enough is it!

My Great Aunty Eileen died on Tuesday - she had been sick for a while, and it was her time.
Still sad though - no matter how prepared you are.
I was more worried about my Grandma, her sister, and how she was with it all.
Eileen was her younger sister - I don't think it matters how old you get, your sister would always be your sister (I don't have one, well not that I have grown up with and know as a sister, but I can imagine how it would feel).
I felt bad, as I was intending to ring her over the weekend, and didn't get there - every time I thought of it the phone would ring, or someone would turn up, or it was too late in the day.

On that note I'll go and make myself mildly useful!

G
xx

...Thank you all so much....xxx

To all of the beautiful ladies from Rose Cottage - thank you so much!

My parcel arrived today - I was speechlessly overwhelmed,

so much thought, so much time, care and kindness has gone into my package,

I feel truly blessed to have found you - all of you....

Toni, Sev, Lisa, Anchell, Kathleen - and many others that I haven't 'met' but take time to read your blogs - you have kept me together these past months - I really mean that.....

Love G

xx

Small Man's got them sussed!

Just thought of a funny thing that happened when Small Man was in hospital,

after a week of questions, doctors, more questions.....

They sent a Child Psychiatrist to see him, and review his medication.

She was subtly asking him questions, he was tired and aggravated and had had enough by that stage.

He politely said "I wish if people were going to ask me questions, they would just ask the question, and not cushion it and make it sound like something else, because I'm getting a bit sick of it".....

She did sit back in her seat......I think she realised he was onto the psycho-babble.....

That's my kids for you though,
they are far bolder and more forward than I ever dreamt of being as a child, and still now to some degree!!!

G
xx

p.s. I am waiting for scrabulous to get with the program and stop being slow and silly!!!!

Unreasonable...

Thanks so much Toni and Sev for your messages.......

I had my 'review' on Thursday,
it was several hours of nit picking, and blowing things out of proportion. I was in tears AGAIN several times (only when she kept mentioning Small Man) - I'm not good with people in my face going on and on and on...make your point and be done with it.....feel sorry for her kids.......Once again I'm thrown into turmoil and unnecessary stress, probably for her enjoyment.

I have been set an unreasonable target - to achieve what we call 'area coverage' - I have averaged 40 - 50% over the last 12 weeks, closer to 50% in the last few weeks - I have to achieve 70% in two weeks - or she will remove 5000 households from my area, that's 1/4 of the district. If then in another two weeks it hasn't been achieved, she'll take ANOTHER 5000 households - so I'll lose half of my earning potential, and half of my team.

She accused me of not training my people properly, just because one had to ring her with something that I couldn't help them with, and asked a simple question (which he has been shown how to do lots of times, he must have forgotten).
She said "How much training have you done with ... - think VERY carefully before you answer" - so rude and condescending.

She reckons I get paid too much - I work for commission only, so my pay is a reflection of my teams sales - if I get a good month, it's because we've done well. Also because she left her husband, I heard all about how SHE doesn't have a partners income to fall back on etc etc - so what punish me because I can hold a marriage together!!!

She kept bring up the fact that Small Man has been sick 'for a very long time' - really? Gee I'm so glad she pointed that out, I wouldn't have known otherwise.

Also - I won't be getting paid for the person she talked into being an area manager (actually told her she had no choice).
I went to the CEO over this but ultimately it's her call - she won't budge on it - she would never have allowed this to happen to anyone else (she likes the other DM in Tassie) - talk about poor management - I was never given the correct info on this.....

One of my SD's had a few boxes of stock to send back to head office - it should have been done weeks ago - I didn't think to check up on it with him - as this have been pretty hectic, I have been looking after immediate issues - WELL - didn't I get the lecture on that one, she went on like we'd stolen stock or something - she actually said "so who do I sack? 'AW' or you?"

At the end of this I got the whole "I don't want you to be out of the area...I need you" need me for what? to take her frustrations out on? I said "I'd like to be able to get along with you but you make it hard".

I'm having an emergency meeting Tuesday with my SD's - we are going to have to pull out all stops to make this work. One big problem is that a couple we have that work in Exeter have to take 2-3 months off, he has to have hip surgery - they drop a lot of books per week, and this will really affect our coverage....I am hoping they can get someone to help them (or help the one that isn't having the operation) - they have done such a good job, I would give them the time off, or at least let them do what they can, as good people like them are hard to find. The Almighty's answer to this was "well, they might not have an area to come back to" - she's unbelievable.

The thing is, she hasn't set us this as a challenge, or as motivation, she has set me up to fail.
I'd love to know what her problem is with me, I have nothing in my life she can't have.......

She apparently has some health problem - she won't say what.
I am hoping she will decide this is all a bit much, she is creating a very hostile environment amongst the managers in the state. I don't wish ill of her, but I think she has done enough damage.
I just need her to back down - a lot. And actually help me rather than see things build up, wait for a review and then hit me with it, for hours, and it was nothing that warranted the way it was dealt with. I would have mentioned it a few weeks ago, and said you'll need to have these few things sorted before the review, as these are the things we are focusing on at the moment. That's what our previous manager would have done, but then he wasn't setting me up for failure either.
I'll admit there were a few little things I didn't check, didn't finish, but it was like two things!!! I spoke with her about one of them to let her know it hadn't been done and she said "That's fine"...

My situation with Small Man prevents me from resigning and getting something else, I know he will be better soon, but I don't know when. I also don't want to leave, I'd be happy to see her go though...

What do you think her problem is?
What can I do to stop her treating me like this? I am not an 'employee', so none of the usual regulations apply...

Can you recommend a spell for me Sev?

In the middle of all of this mum rings to say "I'm bringing Grandma up to your house at 6pm" - Grandma's sister is dying, days/weeks to live, so Mum took her through to Ulverstone to spend the day with her. It all happened so quickly, as these things often do.
It was nice to have Grandma here for a few days - but awkward too because I really needed to be on the phone getting a plan together for the latest crisis the Almighty has put us in....that's o.k. though I did a lot in my head! Grandma is awesome, she isn't like a fussy old lady that has to have everything done a certain way, she goes with the flow and enjoys being here!

This is getting long,
I'll write about Small Man, and my other news later.....yes there's still more....

Thanks for listening,
I know this is long and complicated, but that seems to be how everything works at the moment,

G
xx

Still Here

I'm still here, just haven't been able to write.

My life has gone to shit this week,
I had a work review Thursday,
lets just say it wasn't pleasant.

I got to say what I thought,
you'd be proud of me for standing up for myself the way I did -
I was proud of myself.

A few other fairly major things have happened too...

don't feel like writing about it now,

G
xx

p.s. Anyone wanting to wish me happiness in my job - I would appreciate it!