♥*~wE MaDe It~*♥

And it deserves a post of it's own, as it has been the main reason for my blog, I may do it in two parts, and while it's still fresh in my mind.

But not today

We are actually going away for a couple of days, the Man and I - leaving tomorrow

Not the best timing and I am anxious about leaving Small Man only a week and a half after his operation, but it's been booked and paid for for quite a while, before we knew about his operation.....

Possum started his new job today, and works tomorrow and Thursday.....

otherwise he will be head nurse and captain of company for his little brother

Small Man is doing very well indeed, healing up nicely and adjusting to it all :)

G

x♥x

sMoOtH sAiLiNg

Things are going well, so far, touch wood.

Small Man has been very determined, and his willpower has been outstanding ~ even with friends over to visit and many temptations

He has lost at least 8kg already

I say 'at least' because we had an estimated starting weight based on the last time he was weighed, and the fact that he had been on a bit of a bender in the weeks leading up to the news of his operation ~ we are going by the last actual weigh in result as his starting weight, however I suspect we could easily add a few kg to that, making his weight loss greater than 8kg....if that makes sense :P
I was unable to weigh him here as he was heavier than my scales maximum, now, he is not :D

Possum has secured some work at Maccas, finally it took 3 interviews but he got there, it was the whole age thing.  Night shifts, which is what he wanted, and he is just the right age!
Not 100% sure when he starts.
We are still waiting to hear about the education dept job.
They usually take a few weeks to get back to you.
At least if he doesn't get an interview for this one this time, he has something to fall back on with Maccas.

I am adjusting to feeling so different about life.
I think I have been in a bubble for the last few years, in order to not feel too much.
I don't need to do that any more.
It's going to be interesting.


I have even decided I can celebrate my 40th birthday. 
I wasn't planning to.
It's very hard to explain, but I didn't feel like celebrating anything, very difficult to look forward when you are stuck in limbo.
Very difficult to want to be around others too much when you don't feel particularly positive, or feel anything much at all (except frustration/sadness/anger/guilt).
On the one hand you don't mind if they ask how things are going, on the other you dread it, because you have nothing to offer.

Only 2 weeks to go.............

G
x♥x 







 

Finally, finallly!!!!!

We have a date for Small Man's operation.......

Saturday the 5th of November - Lap Band Surgery.

Matt finally conceded defeat against the public health system, so with that I made the call to have it organised as a private patient.

I rang in the morning, was given the date and all of the info (except for which hospital...oops) and was going to get a call back 'in the afternoon' to confirm, after the PA met with the surgeon.  
I was unable to concentrate/think or function on any level all day.

It was pay day for my team, usually one or two come to me, and I go and collect a few lots of their money, not this week - I got them all to come to me! 


I still hadn't heard by 5.00pm - and desperately needed to go out to the shop.
I sent the PA (Susan) an email to thank her for her help, and that if she could confirm with me as soon as possible, that would be great, as I needed to get flights booked.
When I returned I had received a reply from her, confirming the date.......
I was a little shocked....a little excited....a little.....OMG!!  




During the day I had messaged Big A (who was in Burnie studying) to tell him things as they happened - long story short, he didn't realise I meant the actual operation on the 5th of November, and that it would be a consultation......he was soon excited when he realised!


Small Man hasn't really reacted yet.
It's a reflex from all of the let downs he has had in the past with this, oh and there has been PLENTY, more than plenty actually.
It is almost 4 years to the day since I started trying to get this operation for him.

Yesterday it all caught up with me and I must admit I was was a bit of a wreck.
The whole process has been such a roller coaster.



The reality is, the next 4 weeks could be harder than the last 5 years put together.
Small Man will need to use his cpap machine every night (he hasn't been using it for a while). He will need to be on Optifast for 3 weeks prior to the operation, so meal replacement 'shakes' for every meal - Susan tells me the first week is extremely tough.  
We will have to cut back/out most socialising/visits to/from friends for the first week at least, because of the risk of temptation, especially if he is hungry. 
I'm also not expecting him to be in the best mood either.  
It is going to require the whole family to keep him distracted/entertained, and most of all not eat around him.
We have made a start, to reduce the shock to his system - and switched him back to all sugar free, reducing the size of his meals and cutting out junk/takeaways.

If he goes to have the operation and his liver hasn't shrunk sufficiently, there is a risk of the surgeon closing him back up, and sending him home to be on Optifast for 6 weeks......

I know how hard this is going to be, so I am considering going on Optifast with him for the first week.  


So we have booked our flights (we are all going over), hire car, and will wait to find out which hospital Monday, so that we can book accommodation.
We will be away for 5 days.

G
x♥x

Look at his hair! :)

Round and round and round it goes....

Still here

Not a whole lot to report

Things have just been ticking over, as they do

School holidays, I love it!!

Possum was unusuccessful with his maccas interview one week, then received an email the following week to say he has another interview in a few weeks. 
Not sure what's with that but I am realising not to fight it all (in my head) and let what will be...be....cos it will whether I stress over it or not.
Very difficult, I kind of take it hard in some ways, the rejection. Not sure why. I guess all mothers just want their kids to be happy though.
He does have another day of contract work coming up, and we have applied for another 3 jobs that we haven't heard back from yet.

I was even more wound up yesterday when a friend messaged me to say her son was doing a weeks work experience, organised by a government agency, to help him find a job. 
It's so unfair.  
Nothing against her or her son, good on them take the help you can get but wow, unemployed is unemployed, regardless of how much the parents earn.  
How's that going to find a kid a job??? 
Disgusting.

Small Man has made a group of new friends. 
The main friend is in one of his classes at school.  He has been spending some time at his house, and his friend has been to stay here for the night.  
It's a bit fun for SM because his new friend lives in his parents house, with two housemates (one female, one male) while his parents live on the mainland.  So basically no 'adults'.
They are good kids from good families, I am quite happy for him to spend time there. 
He is finally doing what he has missed out on for all of this time - being a teenager.  

It is distracting him from the obvious also.
Haven't heard a thing from Melbourne.
I have tried nagging, now I am backing off and doing the opposite.  
We'll see how that goes.

I am still on my eating plan, small lapses here and there but by no means anything major.  
I tried the treadmill a few times since I last blogged and my hip is still very much aggravated.  It's not as much my actual hip, it's more the very tip of the bone at the top of my leg that hurts. 
Buggered if I know why.
Anyway, I have decided not to weigh myself until the end of each month, slight fluctuations were making me feel a bit let down, so I am thinking after a month I hope to see some solid results.


I had an excellent trip to the op shop the other day, I just wanted a few hours to myself (but not work time!).
Possum scored the most, a really nice pair of jeans (that fit!), a pair of near new cargo pants, a Just Jeans long sleeved check shirt (so nice the lady that served me even commented), a SUPERDRY  black long sleeved shirt - oh wow - Superdry is majorly expensive, even just for a t-shirt! 
You can feel the quality of the fabric, so nice!!  
He needed another long sleeved shirt for interviews etc, his other black one...errr...ummm....shrunk in the wardrobe, same as a few pairs of his jeans..... 
The last item was a bit of a gamble....a lavendar/lilac coloured business shirt, I would say it is new without tags.  
Such a beautiful colour and the fabric feels a little like silk.
He took one look at it and said "Oh...thanks Mum...I might wear this......if I was going to a Mardi Gras" 
and then 
'What is it a dressing gown or something?' 
Hahahaha! 
No I wasn't offended, not one bit! I knew it would be a gamble, would rather he told me the truth.
He later said "Oh I might like it another time Mum, just not now...it's just so.....vibrant". 

A few night later SM and I had a giggle, I saw a guy at the supermarket in the same coloured shirt, I said "Oooh look babe....he must be going to a mardi gras".....hehehehehe!

I have hung it up on his wardrobe door, so that he can adjust to the vibrance....hahahaha ;)

I did get a pair of jeans for myself....that actually fit and are extremely comfy.....the last pair I bought are way too big now, and the other pairs I have are either too dressy or still half a size too small.  
I also found a pair of trackies for Small Man, and they are the perfect size for him too.
All that for $42......unbelievable.


So on that note I better go and make myself useful. 
There is always so much to do around here it's not even funny.

G
x♥x

In Memory Of My Dad

Dads memorial day today - 19 years.

The photo with Possum was the last one I have that was taken before he died, actually only 4 months before.
He was buried in the outfit he is wearing in this photo.

The top photo is the only 'young' photo I have, I don't have any of Dad as a child unfortunately.

Many of the photos we should have were taken from us, by someone who now has no business with photos of my father, but anyway, nothing I can do about that now.

Time may heal a lot of things, but grief isn't one of them.
It doesn't get 'better' or 'easier' just less raw.

I know most of you are my friends on Facebook, so have seen these already, but I wanted to add my thoughts here.....

May he rest in peace ♥

G
xx

Update of a random events

Well of course, it wouldn't be my blog if I stuck to an actual topic for the whole post now would it?

So where were we?

Ok so nothing has happened as far as Small Man and operations/waiting lists/private or public or anything else for that matter.

He did, however, go to a party on Friday night. 

An 18th birthday party with only the older brother of the birthday boy and his friend to supervise.

I think approx 40 young people attended.

He enjoyed himself. 

It was the first 'party' (without parents) he has been to in 5 years.

The young girls (14/15/16 year olds) that were so drunk they could 'barely hold their heads up' may have had a different experience, or at least the next day was less pleasant for them. 

He was shocked at the state of/possible consequences to these girls. 

I'm really pleased he is making new friends :) He has been invited to another one in a few weeks time.

Possum was called in for two days of IT contract work with a Sydney based company. 

They liked his work, and there may be some more at the end of this month - which is soon.  

Funny, he was paid almost the same for what ended up being a day and a half's work as he used to get for a full week during his traineeship :D

He also had an interview at Maccas - they liked his work too, they threw an apron on  & put him on drive thru to see how he went and seemed happy with him. 

He will know for sure by the 29th August.

The thing I liked was that he came home happy, and was in a cheerful mood for some time after.

It seems that this may be 'the go' for the next few months, part time at Maccas and some contract work until the right job comes up for him. 

So snooze ya lose Hungry Jacks you can get knotted, very disappointed in them.

I think the contract work will be great for his experience.

Things always pan out, and I knew they would. 

I wish everyone else could have seen it too.

Actually the break has done him good.

He worked so hard through college, at HJ's at the same time, it was stressful and tiring, and not just for Possum!

Although his pants appear to have 'shrunk' in the wardrobe.......I never thought we'd get weight on him when he was younger, and used to have to encourage him to eat more!! 

At the same time we were carefully trying to balance Small Mans diet. Difficult much?

Speaking of balancing diets The Big A has joined me on my eating plan.  

He lost 4.5kg in the first 3 weeks :D 

He is not actually fat. 

He is a big build/solid boy. 

Broad shoulders/muscular. 

He doesn't have a beer belly or anything like that but he insists he needs to lose 10kg.

Probably got this from some silly website that's telling him his BMI is all wrong.....the trouble with BMI calculators is that it doesn't take your build into account.

Anyway, the aim of the eating plan is to be healthier first, any weight loss comes second.

His 10kg may take longer if people keep sending sticky date pudding with caramel sauce to work for him.....but anyway...hahaha! 

He has them convinced that I don't cook.....so they feel sorry for him and send stuff to work. 

I think most people realise that I don't cook cakes and biscuits etc simply because it's not a good idea for Small Man to have that stuff in the house.

My weight has stayed the same - I am still at 6.5-7kg lost which I am happy with, but hope to hit it harder over the next fortnight and get to 10kg lost. 

I am enjoying the eating plan and haven't missed cordial/pasta/bread which were the major changes.

I didn't get much treadmill in at all over the last two weeks. 

I had an incident at work which resulted in me collecting catalogues in pouring rain for 2.5 hours, without info on where the catalogues had been delivered :/ Not happy Jan!! 

Walking for that long in the rain/mud/ on an uneven surface at times flared up my hip in the extreme, in fact I had a job to walk at all the next day. 

It had not been that bad for many years, we went to 'Agfest' a huge annual agricultural show here one year, we walked around for a similar amount of time, the ground was very uneven and damp and it had the same effect. 

It put me off the treadmill a bit. 

I will try again this week. 

I can't handle that sort of pain, and feeling like I am really aggravating something (the hip pain is of an unknown cause).

So that's pretty much it :)

G

xx

~Still Here~

I am still here

I just took a little break

I don't seem to get much time alone at present

Not a bad thing, just different

The job hunt for Possum continues, and we can add another few registrations to the list of 'places we have tried'

Small Man is having a little break from school this week, with exams under way at college (he doesn't have any) most of his classes aren't on

We have started his Psych evaluation to determine that he is mentally/emotionally prepared for his operation, has reasonable expectations for the outcome etc. 
The last 4 years of waiting has allowed plenty of time for discussion and preparation so it won't be a problem

We had further drama and what felt like a set back a few weeks ago, I couldn't even  write about it, it's a long story and the whole thing was another brick in the wall.  
At this stage, and I hope this is still the case, Dr Matt want the operation done within 3 months, at the Alfred.  
Lets hope this doesn't change.

SM had an ultrasound of his tummy Monday, for a suspected hernia but it was ok, the explanation for the lump in his belly was a bit ? but anyway, as long as they are sure.

I am quite pleased to have lost 5kg - or just over 10lb - it hasn't been 'easy' and hopefully by sticking with my current eating plan I will lose another 15kg, at least.
It took me about 3 weeks, I am hoping it has fired up my metabolism a little.

I did have a little setback in my plan, ending up with tonsillitis last week and lapsing from my eating plan for a few days, simply because I was too unwell to prepare the food I needed. 
Having a throat that is on fire doesn't help either!I didn't go too far off course, but enough to stuff things up a bit.


I am definitely back on the plan again, trying not to weigh myself too often, and hope to be able to post another significant loss again soon :)


Not too much else to report, which is good I guess!


G
x♥x

~Opinions~

I am actually getting a bit sick of unhelpful comments re: Possum and his work situation

What I find really aggravating is the trotting out of the same lines that may have applied to life 20 or 30 years ago

Even more interesting is the fact that everyone appears to have forgotten that Possum is not your 'off the shelf, same as every other' 20 year old 

It makes me crazy 

He has a brilliant mind

I found a report the other day from the school psychologist conducted when he was 8 year old - describing his 'superior' intelligence in almost all areas (except for tasks which required sustained attention/organisation.....no really?? haha!)


He is not particularly a 'people person', he likes the company of others, but seems equally happy without it.  
He doesn't do the 'super confident' walk in somewhere and ask if they have any work available, and just thinking about it sends him into near panic, because that's Possum - Possum is Possum - he is not you, not his father, not his brother, and not his mother or anyone else.


People just don't seem to get that even to be a cleaner these days you need a Cert III or 10 years experience - and you can't just pick up a few hours of 'bar work' or what have you without experience or a licence for this that or the other.  
It would also be a massive waste of time for him to go back to school and study for anything other than IT related courses.  
It is also the middle of the year. 
Pretty sure the school years starts in February, unless he wants to pay thousands to do a private course....oh but that's right he has NO INCOME...oh see I am just 'making excuses' for him now.

People don't seem to realise that I have helped Possum register for:
Seek, CareerOne, Skilled, Hays, JET, Searson Buck, Mycareer.......just to name a few. 
We get job alerts for suitable positions and he has been in to Hays recruitment for an interview.

He has applied for around 7 IT jobs in almost 5 months, has had 2 interviews, didn't get an interview for 2, and waiting on a response from the others.

We have also submitted his resume/applied online to: Hungry Jacks (x 2 different stores), Coles (he took his resume in to the store), Kmart, Domino's, the Country Club Casino, Village Cinemas...

While he needs to be doing something, putting him into the WRONG thing would destroy his confidence.

I'm not sure what's so difficult to understand about this??

I appreciate people asking if he has found a job etc, just don't need to comments that follow, or the assumption that it's laziness.
Lazy? The boy worked for the last few months of high school, and all the way through college, sometimes finishing college for the day and going straight to work until god knows what hour of the night.  He did this for 2.5 years.

Yes he does like to sleep in.  
Big deal.  
Get over it. 
He won't be doing it when he gets a job, so what of it? 
Getting up earlier isn't going to make a job available for him, and anyone that thinks he doesn't care or doesn't want to work doesn't know him too well.

The End.

G
xx

~ Usually ~

Possum turned 20 - Happy Birthday Poss x♥x

I don't post 'cos things are the same - time ticking over and all that

Quite the opposite this time

So much has been happening - my brain is in over drive

I will post in 'as brief as possible point form' - cos I know Toni LOVES it :P

• We went away for the long weekend for our friends 40th birthday - the boys stayed here and had Corey from Hobart to stay too. They did really well. I had to laugh, they ran the dishwasher with about 6 things in it.
• They (Small Man and Corey) decided to have a few drinks, which we knew they might and had discussed beforehand. Well the vodka was a bit stronger than they anticipated - and they had it with an energy drink - they were asleep by 8pm - then wide awake at midnight hahaha - the alcohol wore off and the caffeine kicked in. Teenagers. 
• Yes Small Man is very aware that alcohol isn't great for him with a: sleep apnea b: chronic fatigue c: Non alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD)- but I try and teach my kids that anything in moderation (and very occasionally for Small Man/alcohol) (besides drugs) is ok. Know your limit.
• Poor old Possum, one of the cats vomited, twice, and he had to clean it up. It went down really well.....
• The 40th was pretty good, brilliant house but freezing - I mean freezing....no curtains and massive, massive windows, no extra blankets led to a few uncomfortable nights. Nice company and far too much food and grog made it quite enjoyable.
• I forgot to take my thyroid pills with me - they are stored in the fridge so I forgot all about it. I didn't feel brilliant.  Big A started to feel 'off' on the drive back home (the place was about an hour and a half away) - and ended up having two days off work sick - so all up had a week off work.
• One of the other managers here resigned - I was the first to know and so got in fast and filled her area before anyone else knew what was happening - that's how we are forced to operate these days 'dog eat dog' if you like.  Harsh, and the total opposite to 'me' but necessary to survive. 
• This has meant interviews and rearranging of things. Eventually she told our manager she was finished, so it was up to me to go and finish her up or 'exit her as they call it. 
• Small Man saw the gastroenterologist - he feels confident that SM has NAFLD (see above) or the longer term version which has a similar title but involves some hepatitis (nah don't panic hepatitis in general means inflammation of the liver) and that putting him through a liver biposy would be unnecessary at this point. A lap band would be the only answer as we have tried everyhting he would suggest...and more.  
• He said, in his words, the Xenical and the Diaformin SM tried were like 'pissing in the wind' as far as a solution (but he would have suggested we try them first too) - he needs a lap band. No really? You don't say....
• I'm glad he doesn't need a biposy...
• Possum turned 20 :) His birthday was on Wednesday, so we had dinner here last Saturday night.  We ended up having 14 people for tea, so I cooked like a mad woman Saturday afternoon, and threw in an interview in the middle of it - cos I'm all 'captain multi task' like that - bahaha! No really, after 13 years I should have a fucking clue hey!!
• The day of his actual birthday was 'order day' I tried to organise to pick it up from the courier warehouse - long story short and a bunch of bullshit later (from them, liars liars pants on fire) I just couldn't do it.  So very thankful it arrived at midday, which gave me time to pack it and get it delivered, and home again at 6pm so we could take him out for tea. 
• I had about 5 emails from Matt at the end of last week - things appear to be picking up speed - rapidly
• I am trying not to get my hopes up....but it's so hard not to.....
• We have now been approved for funding, and it would appear that we have been prioritised on the waiting list.
• We have had a change of surgeon, which I am fine with - no alarm bells went off, so I am trusting my gut.  One of Mr N's colleagues wants to do the operation, she is a younger female (younger as in appears to be late 30's). I have checked her out online and am happy.
• I need to get a psych assesment to establish that he is psychologically prepared - all standard stuff but I need it done quickly ("In case the Alfred summon you quickly"), and need a referral - but guess what?? Our GP is booked out until 15th July - I rang Thursday - FFS!! So I now have asked Matt to write a referral for a Psych that is 100 metres away from our GP's rooms.....
• Oh and Small Man had his ears pierced. Dad wasn't very happy (he was fine with the eyebrow...go figure!?!)....

So apart from that I haven't been doing much at all :P

I have now been blogging for 4 years - amazing the things that have changed - and the things that have stayed the same during that time, thank you to those of you that have stuck by me - I can't even begin to describe how much your support has meant, and helped get me through ♥

 G
x♥x

~Nope~

Not much to say tonight, really.

Saw the ENT today to confirm that I am definitely not having bits of my throat/tongue/palette cut out...pleased we sorted THAT out

He tried to encourage me to continue with the exercise/calorie counting I tried for at least 2 months with absolutely NO RESULT WHATSOEVER......how disheartened do you think I felt at the end of it having lost not a single kg?
No normal person that goes from somewhat sedentary with a reasonable diet to 1.5 - 2.5km per day on the treadmill and a reduction in calories loses nothing at all, they just bloody don't.
I have no idea wtf is going on with me and I doubt I ever will.
Maybe I will feel motivated to keep going I don't know :(
Not sure why anyone would bother with those results.

Anyway I have organised the mouthguard with the dentist and have a few appointments lined up to get it happening.

No news on anything for Small Man.

He hasn't been too well over the last week, chest/sinus infection has made him feel pretty average.

No job for Possum yet. 

Yep, I'm very exciting tonight. Possibly tired and over it all!

G
x♥x

~Breaks, brakes~

I am giving myself a bit of a break today (mentally) as I seem to be either physically busy or mentally busy

The last week or so has been stressful with beds collapsing, immunisations, people quitting, new starters, more people quitting, big dentist appointments, Big A away for 2 weeks doing a course for work, trying to find jobs for Possum to apply for....
Not to mention the 'Million Paws Walk' that turned out to be 5km long, which would have been fine except I had my 'MC Hammer' Bonds pants on, the tops of your inner thighs rub together after a km or two.....ohhh the chafe.....ohhh owww...the dog loved her walk though, and plenty of money was raised for the RSPCA :)

Yesterday I caught up on some little jobs that were hanging over me, that medibank private claim that I should have done months ago but didn't because they didn't send me a dual claim form and I don't go into town much to get a claim form and you need a password to log in to the medibank website to get a claim form and Big A has the password and was away and it all got far too hard for my ADD brain to get around

In the end I rang Medibank to make sure my $1200 upcoming dentist bill was going to be claimable, and the nice young fellah on the phone emailed me a claim form, so that was done and dusted, posted....done.....next....

Now I have to get a specialist referral letter so that I can claim for my mouthguard, yeah sure specialist appointments are just growing on trees, so had to cancel the appointment I had this afternoon until I can get another letter.....

I also had photos for my Grandma that I had been meaning to sort out and post for months, did that too yesterday

And a new distributor agreement that needed signing and posting to H/O.....done

And Mum's birthday yesterday....all sorted, gifted and visited

♥♥ 

I had one of those 'OMG I can't do this any more' moments with work last night :(

Long story, I won't bore you with the details but I once again put forward some concerns via email about a recent decision that affects my team in a negative way, in fact I emailed several people and not one replied, and it's been weeks.

We now have a forum for discussion on the website and the same topic was raised, so I added my two cents worth, very politely.
The national sales manager responded and suggested I discuss with my manager, his tone was dismissive and he claimed to have 'answered this before' not sure what he meant there but he hasn't answered me personally directly on it.
I pointed out that I haven't been answered at all, and how the decision affects my team etc, and that I sent a copy of my concerns to my manager at the same time, and he hasn't responded either. 
The fact that he has only rung me twice since January doesn't make me want to run to him with any issues either.
I have been with this company for 13 years now and the way it's being run is disturbing at present.
I just felt so sad and defeated last night. 
The lack of support, people quitting (other managers), stress, changes, there will be no-one left soon!


I guess on top of the uncertainty with Small Man still, and all the different goings on recently I sort of stopped in my tracks for a bit.


I am going to just calm down with my expectations of my team as far as the new website.
I was wanting everything to be 'right' - but it's never going to be, so bugger it, I will do the best with the info they give me, it's not worth the stress.
I am usually really easy going and don't worry so much about the finer points. 
I think all of the changes have pissed me off so much that I was worrying over the small stuff. 
Not going to any more!!


I must try and get back to taking each day as it comes......finish what I start (most of the time)....


G
x♥x

~Clear As Mud~

Nothing to report

Still a lot of red tape, but we are getting somewhere at least - I suppose.....maybe.....

I need to speak with Dr Matt first before making any decision

Good job I am patient eh

G

x♥x

I'm SO not going to sleep tonight......

Long story short, cos I know you love that ;)

The surgeon's PA is supposed to be calling me tomorrow (which is actually today now) and letting me know how long we would have to wait on the public waiting list for Small Man's operation, now that funding has been approved etc (that's what they've been doing)....

Basically is he going to go back to the start of the list after the last stuff up with paperwork being returned, or will they find a heart and put him up the list.......

We have decided if it is longer than 6 months from now, we will go the private option, pay the gap and just get it done....

She actually said on the phone Monday - 'He could have it done NEXT WEEK' if we opt for fully private....surely she was kidding (?).....

If we go the public option the $3,000 would reallly come in handy for the trip over, follow up appointments etc....

I have a strategy with them now, if they say they are going to call me back on a certain day and don't, I give them until 3pm and then I call them.....they're not getting away this time....I don't think these people realise just how much people like me/us are hanging on these calls :/

So now I wait.

G

x♥x

~Hitting The Wall~

I'm tired today

I've hit a bit of a wall in all departments

Unfocused, can't be bothered, don't care.......

I'm sure it will pass

Quickly would be good

.

Yesterday was a bit stressful for Small Man
We had an appointment already booked with our GP to discuss the ultrasound results and what to do next.

He didn't really say what the result was, and the rude bastards from imaging had said it was difficult to get an image because of Small Man's 'body composition' or some attempt at pretending to be polite about his weight.
Perhaps if the lazy cow that did the ultrasound actually gave a stuff she would have got him to stand up, like they did the first time he had an ultrasound.  I could feel some 'assuming' going on in the ultrasound room that day.
Whatever.
Assume what you like, but do your job love.....

Anyway our GP wanted SM to have some further blood tests (mostly liver function) before sending him to a gastroenterologist.  Unfortunately the lovely gastro doc that I saw a few years back has gone :(
So we'll need to find a new one.

We went for the blood test after our appointment.  SM has been a bit nervous before blood tests after the last half a dozen he has had weren't the best, missed veins, having to start again, having to get someone else in to 'have a go' etc - it never used to bother him before all of this
So once again the nurse couldn't find his vein after poking around a bit on his right side, so then had to start again on the left side.
That was ok, all done, no problem.

We then had to go back to the GP's rooms to see one of the other nurses to fill out his 'care plan' paperwork which took quite a while.
We have opted for 'no appointments' for now - we can have exercise physiology, occupational therapy etc etc
None of that is any good while he is focusing on school.
His chronic fatigue is such that an appointment one day usually means no school the next day - so that's 2 days missed for one appointment.

Also - he is due for his 'grade 10' vaccination.
No big deal for any healthy kid but I am concerned.
There have been medications that our GP won't give him because of his liver function, but he is happy to give him a vaccination.
I'm sure he knows what he is doing and that I am just overly concerned.
Lets hope so.


We finally got home after nearly two hours at the doctors surgery and the phone rings - they didn't get enough blood for his tests - so now we have to go back down there again today and go through it again.
Which would be easier if he wasn't exhausted.
Looks like it's going to be later today.

Big A is away at the moment doing a course for work.
The course is in Burnie so he is given accomodation etc from Monday to Friday for the next two weeks.
I am thinking I might go down and spend the night tomorrow night.
It's approximately an hour and a half's drive but tomorrow fits in with Small Man for school etc.
I will see how I go tomorrow.

I need to get it together today first!


G
x♥x

And then we got HACKED

Fucking hackers

Low life scum

Hacked our PayPal account VIA FACEBOOK (not my fb account either) to the tune of $810 in 5 seperate transactions

Could have been worse

But it takes 7 - 10 days to be investigated and the money back in our account

*sigh*

Big A mentioned something about their subsequent lack of ability to type if he got hold of them......

G
xx

In Other News

Possum has a job interview Monday afternoon...

It's a long shot (or sounds like it) - it's for an analyst/programmer position - which he has never done...

I (as in he) (as in I) emailed 'the guy' and asked, and was honest in that it is an area he has no experience in - he did 3D graphics and sisco networking and all the fixing computer stuff (cos I'm all up with the lingo!) at school/college and his traineeship, but not programming or analyst type work...

The guy said to email through his resume so he (I) did...

They must have seen something there because he has an interview Monday afternoon

He did say it's a 'graduate' position not sure wtf that means? Graduate from what? Uni ? 

Oh well, the more interview experience the better

I'm an excellent secretary :P

G
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Update - for record keeping type purposes

Following our exciting news Tuesday - we had an appointment that afternoon for Small Man to discuss his blood test results with our GP

When I rang for them a week or so earlier the receptionist told me that his blood sugar level was abnormal

So I was expecting to be talking about that

As it happened it was a bit abnormal/high and needs re-testing - that's ok we can do that

The worrying part was his liver function tests - ALT and GGT - 

GGT should be 5 - 40 - his is now 222

Last time we freaked out about this it was at 130

ALT should be 5 - 40 - it is currently 114

My GP commented that it's at the level of a full blown adult alcoholic ~ great

I asked him to refer us for an ultrasound or something to get his liver checked, it hasn't been done since 2007.

We went this morning for the ultrasound.

Yesterday I emailed a copy of the blood test results to Matt who replied with 'Very abnormal liver function' and that he would like, pending the ultrasound results, for SM to see a gastroenterologist, possibly for a liver biposy, and to rule out viral hepatitis.

He agreed with me that the tests results were a bit of a worry :(

The good news is that Small Man has managed to gain only 4kg in 12 months - I am so pleased!! 

He has averaged a 10kg gain per year over the last 4 years - over the first 12 months of his illness he gained a staggering 25 - 30kg.

It occured to me that the increase in liver function results didn't match the weight gain, if he had had a huge gain it would have made more sense....hmmm....

I have to admit I haven't slept well the last few nights.

I know that worrying doesn't solve/change or fix anything, in fact it just makes you tired and reduces your ability to cope.

That being said the mother section of my brain can't quite come to the party in that regard.

 G

x♥x

It was all worth it - just for the look on his face ♥

Finally

Centrelink called me this morning to say that having reviewed the extra information from Matt, and the statement written by Small Man (aka me)...

He has been approved for the Disability Pension

The woman must think I'm mad - I cried when she rang to say his last claim was rejected - and I cried when she rang to say he had been approved this time

I think I said 'Thank you' about 20 times....

Well it is somewhat emotional - pretty much the whole thing has been from day one

As with the visit to the surgeon in which he was stunned for about an hour afterwards, today's reaction was very much the same

"Mum, you're getting tears on me..."

Finally it sinks in......I see hope in his eyes

That made it all worth it, and I'd go through it all again

Least I could do really

♥

~Limbo Land~ *language warning....

Well I am still here - balancing the same old tightrope in our life of limbo

We want to resolve the issues with wankerish government departments before digging into anything else (Austin hospital program), oh yes, and then there were THOSE PHONE CALLS this week

Like de ja vu only it wasn't pleasant and tingly - it was a hypertension inducing recurring nightmare


At this point in time Small Man is NOT on a waiting list for anything -

Except the waiting list for getting fucked around which he must have hit the top of a million times over the last 5 years


I am now told that his paperwork for the operation was rejected and returned to the surgeon as 'Not meeting the criteria' - because of his age. 
So this was somewhere between July 2010 and November 2010 and I'm only just finding out now.....
I'm not asking for easy, I don't expect easy, it has never been easy - but for fucks sake a bit less of the bullshit would be fan-fucking tastic

AND from calling the GP surgery his blood sugar is 'abnormal' I have to try and get an appointment to see what is going on there  - oh I booked one - next available was the 2nd of May - that's just friggen awesome isn't it.

I'm not sure if I have posted this here before but thought I would share it with you anyway:

The Top Ten Things NOT to say to someone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (or to their mother, thanks)

1. "I get tired too."
 

2. "You don't look sick."

3. "If you'd just get some exercise ..."

4. "This is obviously depression."

5. "It can't be that bad."

6. "My friend had that but they weren't sick this long."

7. "You sure you're not just doing this for the attention?"

8. "If you prayed more you wouldn't be sick."

9. "If you really wanted to get better ...maybe you need to TRY harder"

10. Nothing.

Whatever else you do, do not say nothing. 

 

Nothing - that thing people do when they stop asking how he is. 

I know there isn't anything to say, I know there isn't an answer.

I KNOW how long this has gone on for - and there have only been a handful of ACTIVE support people for each of us.  I will be grateful to them for the rest of my life.

I am expecting a call from the surgeons PA tomorrow or Tuesday. Long story short Matt has made his disappointment over the situation known to the surgeon, as have I to the PA.  The surgeon has been in New York and will be back tomorrow.

On a positive note I seemed to have turned a bit of a corner myself health wise.

My mind seems clearer, I am not as fatigued.

I made it to the gym almost every day last week.  

The key to not over doing it is fitting it into a tight time frame.  

Small Man has been forcing himself to go to college with the main focus on drama lessons - he is part of a play and doesn't want to let everyone else down by not being there.  Even just three lessons per week with an average of two lessons per day is too much for him. 

Anyway, if I drop him off at 10.55am it gives me until 12.05pm to get to the gym do a short workout (treadmill mostly this week) shower etc and get back to pick him up.  

I have done really well with this approach - I can't be tempted to get on the treadmill for an hour - because I have to be there to pick SM up.  It is a good start.

In between all of this I also worked from around 2pm until 9.30pm  Wednesday, most of the day Thursday and then a few hours Thursday night, then Friday afternoon.

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat/blocked nose and basically felt like I was getting a cold, so had a very quiet day of rest.  I feel much better today and back on track.

I think it must be the mouth guard, I actually like wearing it - so now the time has come to get one made up properly at the dentist.

Anyway - on that note - be kind to each other - or at least try......

G

x♥x

~♥~

Just sharing this one because I love it - and because he looks genuinely happy :)

I'm still here - just soooo much going on at the moment (mostly in my head, but in real life too).

G
x♥x

View Larger Map

The only REAL issue (besides me having extreme panic attacks about my baby being in hospital in another state and worrying about stupid things like the food and they might put his t-shirts in the clothes dryer....).

The map shows the route via boat - there are of course direct flights (for my non Aussie mates!)

We do have family and friends in Victoria though, so if needed they would be there...

Small Man and I discussed it last night and he said he would be 'cool' with it - 'rehab' he likes to think of it as.

I need to talk to the Big A first - I didn't get to talk to him yesterday.

The idea of physio and psychological support has me the most interested.  

Could probably do with some myself.

G
x♥x