Better to be safe than sorry

I didn't know this existed until the other night,

Australian sex offenders register

List of offenders either by state or surname.

We don't want to know, but we need to know.

'Be vigilant, not a vigilante'

G
xx

Yeah good on ya!

I have come to the conclusion that certain government agencies need a major rethink of their rules and policies....to be polite.....

I receive a letter from them in DECEMBER a few days before xmas - relating to Possums income for the 2009/2010 period.

Maybe I'm a bit slow, but aren't we already 6 months into that???

The letter states that if his income is greater than $12,700 (which it will be) then I will be made to repay EVERY CENT of family tax benefit A I recieved for him.
It's not adjusted, if they earn $1 over the limit you have to repay the lot......

I get a piddly amount, but over 12 months it will still be a debt I don't need/ shouldn't have.
We're not the 'out for all you can get' type of people, we just estimate our income, do our tax and they give us what they give us.....there have been a few years where we would have been in a hole without what we received though......

I'm not arguing the rules - I'm arguing the timing.
Yes, he does earn over their limit - not sure how they came up with the amount but anyway.....

I sent 3 different emails asking for them to simply send me a link to their website, so that I can change my payment options.....oh no.....that would be too hard, even though each reply said it can be done easily and done anytime.......

Finally they rang me Christmas Eve.

The girl I spoke to was really nice, and patient and as I said to her it's not her fault, she doesn't come up with this shit - but why the hell couldn't they have sent me this in JUNE??

I also went on to say that there is no encouragement or incentive for the kids to work with the policies they have.
I told her NOT ONE of Possums friends that can get youth allowance actually works - well why would they???
I went on to say that we do the right thing, he has worked bloody hard for the last two years while still in high school and through college, always declaring what he earns putting in his tax returns etc and they go and pull this crap smack bang in the middle of the financial year - what the hell??????

So the story ends with me telling them not to give me a cent for Possum until the end of the finanacial year - and hopefully I won't owe them anything.
I'll be glad when Small Man turns 16/18 (depending if he goes to college etc) and hopefully I won't have to have any dealings with them at all til I'm all old and stuff......

Grrr......

G
xx

How's the serenity?

Quite possibly THE quietest Christmas Day EVER....actually EVER in the myst house....

Christmas Eve at Mum and SF's turned out to be quite a good night, Big A was the entertainment and had everyone in fits of laughter

SF and his sister had quite the atmosphere between them, which I ignored completely.
She arrived over an hour late and her husband was quite upset (as in teary) which is unlike him, he's actually a really nice guy, friendly, usually happy.....

SF was good to me, Big A and the boys which was all that mattered
Maybe he realises that he is running short of allies...?!
The urge to drown him in a bucket didn't come up at all.....

It was quite late when we arrived home - after 1am I think.

Christmas morning was quiet.

The boys ended up back in bed for a while

That gave Big A and I the morning/early afternoon together

We finally got to eat our BBQ'd scallops and prawns at midday (cos Big A was too busy with his you beaut new remote control that replaces all other remote controls and needed programming).

We planned tea for around 4pm - because Big A had to go into work on night shift.
Mum and SF arrived at 3pm and had a game of Buzz on the ps3 with Big A and Possum.
We ate our turkey (one of those big arsed turkey buffe things, boneless) and roast veggies (spuds, pumpkin, sweet potato and carrots), peas and gravy at 4.15pm....followed by either caramel cheesecake, fruit salad, ripple cake and trifle that Mum bought.

Just us.

No extras this year - not even my brother who had to work day shift (he and Big A work at the same place and do 12 hour shifts)....

Usually I have a house FULL - and spend 2 - 3 days cooking, all day in the kitchen xmas day, trying to find enough chairs for everyone, joining up tables.......then a week cleaning up after.

This year has been pretty trying, busy and stressful for many different reasons.
It was nice to have a quiet one. - and for the boys to have their Grandma all to themselves for a few hours....

Actually I am glad, it would have been even harder for Big A to go into work if there was a lot happening here.

Mum and SF left at 5.30pm - Big A left at 6pm.......the boys and I had a very quiet evening....

I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I had a struggle thinking of something to ask Santa for - once again this year my wish is the same, and it's nothing that can be wrapped up (think Small Man).....but I did find some clothes I liked in the end and they're great.....even a maxi dress....THAT FITS!! Woohoo!

So that was my Xmas.....how was yours???

G
xxx

~*Merry Christmas*~

Thanks to bigoo.ws for the pic :)

G
xx

Coal In Ya Stocking.....

Well Ho Ho Ho indeed!!!

It seems a certain someone,
that tried to run the company I work for into bankruptcy - and FAILED.....

Has FAILED again.

He tried to start his own company, very similar/exactly the same products,
tried to poach people from our company.......you know the drill......

It seems he has a better knack at running his own company into receivership......OOPS! FAIL!
the company has gone bust, and has ceased operations......

It's because of what he did that I am in this shitty situation with my own job - we have to build ourselves up again somehow.....
He was also very well aware that I was being harassed/bullied for several years and did nothing about it....

For lack of a better description......Sucked In On Ya!!



Who's laughing now you bastard?

G
xxx

And the rest

Monday was the visit to Step Nan at the nursing home. She was unconscious.
She died at 8.30pm Monday night.
We went straight down to keep everyone company then went to Mums after.
Everyone was fine - everything was fine.
Sad of course but fine.
Then he started arking up about everything his sister had said (after she'd gone), every decision that was made, what was going in the coffin....and so on....

Tuesday was Big A's birthday - we'd planned a quiet bbq for tea with PB and kids.
Then Mum and SF were added - oh and my niece as they were babysitting AGAIN.
Then SF's sister, husband and son/daughter in law were added.
Then my brother.
Then my step brother, his wife and their little girl.
So I ended up cooking for 18.
SF didn't speak to me much.

Wednesday was quiet.
Except Possum found out that

a: he didn't get the traineeship :(

b: he passed his TCE :)


Thursday was the usual work.

Friday the funeral.
The atmosphere was awful.
The 'family room' that you wait in before the funeral didn't have strictly family, and SF's other step daughter was in there, along with other people that weren't 'family'......we just grabbed a seat with everyone else.
There weren't many people there.

Unfortunately I can sense what people are thinking/feeling.
I felt like shouting at them 'I'm sorry I'm not perfect' - because I hadn't been to visit step nan at the nursing home.
This is not coming from guilt, because I don't feel guilty at all for not visiting.
If I had started visiting her my 'motivation' would be questioned......

Barely anyone spoke to us, aside from Mum, SF's sister and husband, and their sons.
You could cut the air with a knife.
SF ignored us.
We left after about 10 minutes at the wake.
Funerals aren't the best of places but the atmopsphere was terrible.
I felt like I shouldn't have been there.

G
xx

But anyway

I shall endeavour to keep my head up and not allow him to ruin another christmas/party/whatever.

We have to go to their house for xmas eve where sparks will no doubt fly when he starts on with his 'will' bullshit with his sister.
I might have to take her side.........ha ha ha ha!

If he is ok to me I'll be civil, because I am better than that. If he wants to keep ignoring me fine....I can do ignoring.
I have no idea WHAT Mum was thinking when she got with him, I really don't.

I may have actually voiced this opinion in the past.

I mean, the guy stole his 'best mates' wife (money orientated if you ask me).
Told her once he had her moved in that neither my brother or I were EVER to live under his roof (fuck you buddy I was only 16).
Then a few years later proceeded to move his own son into their house for a few years....n ot my SB's fault and I don't hold it against him at all.

This is just the start/tip of the iceberg of the shit he's pulled over the years.

He's one of these that you ask how he is and he gets all "Ooooh (woe is me) still above ground" or "So - so" and you feel like slapping the shit out of him - why the fuck can't he just say "Good" for once or "Well, thanks".........

He is paranoid as hell and thinks everyone is 'out to get him' as far as rip him off/break into his house/crack onto his wife (oh no wait, isn't it him that does that???), steal Mums underwear off the line (I know, you'd have to be a freak to come up with this shit), look through their drawers if they're not home - no really, I mean it.

He buys stuff and then never uses it.
It gets wrapped all in plastic and shit and preserved, or it sits there and if anyone even dare breathe on it he goes off his nut - say like his shitty stereo speakers.

Once we didn't go around there for nearly 12 months because he carried on so much every time one of the boys moved near his stupid speakers.

Then there was the episode with Small Man, the weekend I went away for work. He got the boy up at his shack and gave him a massive nasty lecture on how 'if he keeps going the way he is he won't live until he's 20' and that 'him being at home and being overweight and not going to school was affecting his parents marriage' and that 'he should eat what everyone else eats it's not fair that his mother has to make different food for him' and so on.
I was LIVID.
I am still LIVID - there are many things I can try and forgive, this is NOT one of them.

The irony? My niece (5) is also a very fussy eater.
She has been staying with Mum and SF A LOT - as I have posted before.
They came for Big A's birthday the other night - and guess what???
Mum had to bring chicken nuggets to cook for her.............but suddenly it's ok, as long as it's not Small Man.

He is also sexist, racist and a raging hypocrite.......

I have tolerated him for Mum's sake for nearly 20 years.

I'm done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add to the week (Sunday) my catering for 70 people for our xmas party - it went off without a hitch - what a great day :)
8kg coleslaw, 8kg potato salad, 6kg hamburgers (all handmade, even the salad dressings), 6kg sausages, 6kg rump steak, 8 loaves of bread, 25 lolly bags, 40 ripple cakes, 40 fruit salads......96 cans of cordial......

We took out all of the awards again this year - I got district manager of the year, then one of my guys took out top team leader of the year, and my other guy got runner up :)

More tomorrow,

G
xx

Unrest

Was going to post properly but I can't really find the words at the moment.

A death in the family (it's ok we weren't close) and a great deal of unrest that has followed.

Finding out that my 'place' isn't really my place, and feeling like I don't actually fit in/feel like I belong with any of the families, despite being the only one to accept/be the bridge between step families and actually TRY.....

My SF is behind most of it, and his mother (technically my Step Nan) just died (she was 89, it was expected) so it's not really the time to bring it up.

He is creating a division, and I think he knows exactly what he's doing.
Playing favourites with the kids, ignoring me but still speaking to Big A fine........

We are all being played off against each other, me against my brother, me against mum etc etc
he is trying to drive a wedge in there.

It makes me miss my Dad so much more, I actually cried talking about Dad in front of Big A, my brother and PB tonight.....haven't done that in a while.
I have cried at least once every day for the last week.......

He is just about to create a shit storm over his mothers will (cos he's all about wills and money and shit as you know from previous posts) with his sister......

Christmas is going to get interesting.......

G
xxx

Oh.....o.k.....

I am still here.

Too much going on at the moment.

What an emotional roller coaster.

What I wouldn't give to be bored for 24 hours.......

I'll be back later with an actual post......or ten.

G
xx

A long week

It has been.

So anyway - the tooth came out after a shitload of gas and 4 anaesthetics.
A $530 bill (thank god for medibank private)
A lovely young man to drive me home after (Possum).

The work dinner was nice, the food was average but I actually knew everyone there aside from one girl......gee it makes it so much easier!!! I think I may have even talked the most!! Social butterfly and all that *ahem* ha ha!
We went to the casino after and I actually won!! $220!! YAY!
Paid for the dentist - ha ha!

Sunday we took of for Hobart.
Went and saw Small Man's mate (the one who looks after his Mum) and dropped off his new computer. Young man had saved up for months, and last time he was here he gave the $ to Big A to order/build him a new computer.
We were excited to be able to give it to him.

Went and visited my Grandparents, always a pleasure, Pop is a crack up! The boys are highly amused. He and Small Man have a great bond, Small Man said he could sit and talk to him all day - he loves the war stories especially. As he said, there will be no-one to tell the stories soon....

Monday was the presentation day.
Very well done, it is good that distance education caters for those with a short attention span!! Not like a lot of school presentations we've been to that go on and on and on.
Small Man's mate received an award for outstanding service within the DET community - a cheque for $50 - I was so pleased for him, it's the least he deserves for caring for his Mum like he does.
We had a spectacular lunch (even if we did have to que up for bloody ages, and by the time we got to the front of the line I felt sick I was so hungry!).
Roast meat, baked veggies, salads, cold meat and the nicest pork crackle I've had in years :)
Desserts were cheesecake, pavlova and Christmas pudding with custard.
I played it safe (almonds, bloody almonds...they are often in cheesecake base and Xmas pudd) and had a little bowl of custard.
I took everything down to make lunch for Small Man and Possum, then Small Man's mate decided he'd like salami/swiss cheese with ranch dressing rolls also (that being his staple diet when he comes to stay) - so the boys were set :)
Had a lovely time with Small Man's other friend's (AJ) Mum.
AJ was grade ten this year so was whisked away for a leavers lunch somewhere.
It's lovely the effort they go to for the young people to make it special.

I'm not sure how I feel about next year - on the one hand I'd like him to have the big high school leavers dinner, but then, they are not his mates any more - he doesn't share all of the memories with them that he does with his teachers and friends now.......dilemmas! Watching him interact with everyone I realised that this is his school now, he fits.
I will see how he feels....either way he will be doing distance ed again at least for the first term next year, possibly all year, possibly part time at the high school, we'll see.

Some VERY EXCITING NEWS!!!
It doesn't rain it pours for old Possum.
First day back at work yesterday with a 7am start........OUCH....ha ha!
Yesterday morning we receive a phone call from one of the job agencies he's applied for a job through....
'Possum hasn't got a full time job yet?' the caller asks Big A when he tells them he's at work
'No, not yet' says Big A
'Good, we'd like to interview him for the IT traineeship as soon as possible'

Long story short Possum finished work a bit earlier than we expected, rang the guy and went for an interview at 4.15pm yesterday!!
45 minutes (a literacy and numeracy test later) he comes out grinning from ear to ear - he is being put on the short list for a second interview at the high school that is offering the traineeship :)
The job is exactly what he wants to do.........fingers crossed for him......!!

And me, well this 'where the tooth used to be' ache isn't quite where I wanted it to be.
I hadn't slept for more than a few hours at a time for a week, until we got back Monday night and all I want to do is sleep now......
I have RSVP's for just over 60 people for the Xmas party Sunday - I've got to get cracking.......perhaps not sitting here in my dressing gown might be a good start....I dunno!
I will call it designated planning time - I have made lists in my head and am mentally prepared......
If I'm no better tomorrow I'll go back to the million dollar man and see what he reckons.....
stupid bloody appointments driving me round the twist......

G
xx

Bugger

My tooth isn't getting any better. The pain is doing my head in.

I am going to try and get my order done and delivered tonight, and get an emergency appointment with the dentist tomorrow.

Then hopefully will be ok for Big A's work dinner Friday night.

I can't keep popping nurofen like this........

G
xx

Big Boobs? Don't go dress shopping then...

What the hell do people with breast implants do???


Bloody hell, went shopping for a maxi dress today :(

In a retail shop even, you know, where they run around and bring you stuff....jeez haven't done that in YEARS!!!!

So anyway to no avail - nothing fucking fit.

If it fits in the top it's too big in the bottom, or it fits in the bottom and is ultra skin tight porn star style disgusting in the top..........

The only thing that was gunna fit was a plain black "Oh yeah ok I'll settle for this then" number which I was not paying $130 for........no way

Stuff it then I'll wear jeans and a goddamn tent Friday night................................

But hey - I filled in a quiet afternoon for the shop assistant ladies, who were very nice I should add (and like genuine nice not that 'I'm being nice cos I have to type of nice')

G
xx

SAVED!!.......By a blog post !!!???!!!

If I hadn't written my previous post this arvo.......

I would have come home to a flood.

Yes, I was putting off going to the shop.

Thought I'd write first, shop later.

Shoes on, just grabbing my sunnies off the bench.......

When PPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS

Yep, the bloody hot water hose decided, right there and then, to split and spray water out EVERYWHERE in the cupboard.

And of course dumbarse (me) couldn't figure out how to turn it off (Big A wasn't here)

Well I know now

50 million tupperware items dried and a new water hose later

And I'm glad I posted now :)

G
xx

In the ning nang nong.....

Ha ha got that song in my head today - god knows why!
I learnt it at school in Queensland when I was in grade 4, we were there for a year - it was a long year actually away from friends and in an intolerable climate (for me, I couldn't hack it).

Speaking of intolerable climates - my friend has dropped the avo and allowed her husband to move back in!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, I dunno either. Actually, I don't understand it AT ALL.

I mean, how much worse does it have to get????

He hasn't changed one iota - in fact went to visit her and told her the bathroom and toilet needed cleaning...........the words 'Fuck off, I pay the rent now you clown' came to mind when she told me.

Even better, he wanted to come up last weekend for Small Mans birthday! Awkward much???
She understood when I said it may be a bit soon.
She can forgive him if she wants - does that mean I have to?
OK for him to go around hitting her, their son, breaking things and losing the plot - who's the one that has picked up the pieces each and every time, and will no doubt do it again sooner or later.

I really thought she was stronger this time and that this was the worst she would tolerate, clearly I was wrong.
I told her I refuse to be a hypocrite, I have had some pretty brutal and honest opinions about him this time, I'm not just going to sit there and pretend nothing ever happened.

Rant over!

Terrible night last night this wisdom teeth is messing with me big time.
Actually the term 'Merry Hell' comes to mind.......extreme pain last night :(

I have a friend that's a dental nurse, she was going in this morning to get me an appointment with the 'wisdom tooth dentist to see' at her clinic - unfortunately she woke up with a bad cold this morning and couldn't go to work.
No point me ringing, I'd never get an appointment - oh well maybe next year some time.
To be honest, all dental phobias aside - I haven't got time to be recuperating for 2-3 days at the minute.

Madness coming up with a work dinner this Friday night, going to Hobart this Sunday for the night and then to Small Mans school presentation day in Hobart on the Monday.

Then back Monday night for rsvp's to sort out for the work xmas bbq I am organising again this year, and Possum to get ready for an early start at HJ's the next day.

Then my usual work on the Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday - it will be our last week of putting orders in for the year so it's gunna be HUGE - with food preparation in between.
Thank god Mum is helpin me this year!
Next Friday will be a big organising/cooking day ready for the bbq Sunday (remember how I had 80 people last year....yeah!).

Monday 14th - Small Man has his usual private 'school' lesson at Newstead, and will possibly be the last one - I only have between 1.15pm and 2.45pm to fit anything in....
Tuesday 15th - is Big A's birthday.
Wednesday 16th - we have a therapist appointment in the afternoon, then my final delivery for the year.
Thursday 17th - will be my last 'round' of deliveries to my people
Friday 18th - I have another laser appointment in the afternoon which I have already postponed once......

So there just isn't a clear couple of days for me to get it sorted out.
And I would need Big A to be home to drive me - my friend said they'll often give you an injection of valium to pull wisdom teeth out.
I wonder if they'll give me valium AND gas? Could be a peaceful/interesting afternoon ha ha!

G
xx

Birthday Boy...and stuff....

Small Man turned 15 yesterday.

We had a lovely day, the rain stopped at 5pm just in time to cook the bbq (thank you Dad!).

Will write some more later,

G
xx

**Extra added - Tuesday 7.15pm**

Couldn't be stuffed starting a new post......lazy, lazy, lazy.....

Not really, I had a run in with some seafood salad from coles deli.......oh my....run 'out' should I say......also wanted to keep birthday boys pic up a bit longer.

Sunday night it hit - after the b'day guests had gone - thankfully.

After all of the preparation and organisation and a lovely bbq dinner with the family, followed by a big-assed chocolate mud cake - topped with profiteroles (you know, those cream puff thingys).........very nice :)

And I had time to snap this:

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! I took this one to wind up the kids......knowing they would eventually find it on here, and they did today :)



I have decided I have a split personality - the way I speak vs the way I write - so am thinking of trying to meet in the middle a bit more.
I have always had a 'thing' about the written word being spelt/phrased correctly, or as correctly as my english edu-ma-cation will allow.

This is not how I speak though.....
I don't finish my words, and most conversations are peppered with the 'f' word where appropriate - NEVER at work, NEVER in 'company' eg school or doctors stuff.

So maybe that's how I should be blogging?

Some news of sorts, Dr Matt wants to see Small Man in 'the New Year'.
I wrote back and told him that SM was turning 15, wants to get a job and is just bloody sick of his situation, and that's it's getting very, very hard to keep watching him miserable and pissed off.
In other words, get something organised, NOW. For fucks sake it'll be 4 years in March next year.
I'm not going over there again and coming back without a definite plan - no definite plan = me not taking him. The End.

Possum is recovering well from the stress and bullshit of the end of college stuff.
He has applied for 3 traineeships, got a letter today to say he wasn't successful (didn't even interview him - fine then ya pricks...*ahem*).

One he hasn't heard from yet.

One sent a letter to say they'd be in touch soon.
They'd made a mistake in the letter (derr) and put that he'd applied for a business traineeship - I emailed them as if he'd written it (I'm a bloody good secretary eh?!) and let them know (just in case he had been put in the list for the business job).
They wrote back and thanked him for contacting them etc and apologised, they hope to contact him by the end of this week.

That's about it.
Had the boss here most of last week - that's why I have been so quiet.
By Friday I was totally stuffed! Meetings, meetings and more meetings......it was good but tiring.

G
xxx

~ One Day ~

ONE DAY......

I won't be under extreme pressure with work and dreading the change to come

I won't have a sad, unwell son at home....

...and another son also currently at home whose nerves are shot to pieces after the last few weeks....

I won't be waiting to find out if the medication I need is going to be available to me (I can't ring at the moment....I don't need any more negative)......and the situation will never arise again....

I will learn to keep all of these things to myself so as not to burden anyone else

I will be organised and have my house in order

I won't collapse on weekends from the sheer mental strain of each week

I will want to go out and 'do things' on weekends when I don't feel so weighed down by the amount to be done here, because by then my house will be sparkling

I can avoid such things as sinus infections and wisdom teeth growing wrong and occasional heart rhythm episodes therefore being a whole lot more 'FUN'

I will have friends with equally perfect lives that don't need me to worry over them

I might even have tea ready at 6pm rather than enjoying myself on skype (once)

I might make the bed every day, and find time to vacuum daily also

I might go to bed by 10pm every night and be up at 6am (busting to make that bed)

I might turn into a social butterfly and just love a crowd, and love to dribble shit to people I've just met.....

I may even be super skinny at the same time


It all sounds quite realistic, I should have thought of it before.


G
xx

Sketchy...

Hi All,

Thank you again for your messages, friends Mum is home and pretty much ok.

I don't have the full story, and to write only what I have gleaned from text messages is probably unfair.

Friends Mum has been through some awful stuff in the last few years, the back injury she received from a fall a few years ago is getting progressively worse and as far as I know is untreatable.

She fell on a wet, unmarked floor in a supermarket around two years ago.
Her doctors fully expected that it was a muscular type injury that would improve - so she signed an agreement and received a measly $3,000 payout - thinking this would cover some time off work etc - it hasn't improved.

Her son is now her carer - it is possible she could deteriorate to the point of being unable to walk at all. She is in constant sometimes agonising pain.

Earlier this year they moved into a renovated space under a house.
After a month or two and paying $250 a week for this place which was freezing and had obvious problems, they discovered that the unit/flat hadn't been inspected or passed as safe for tenants.

They have been living in emergency accomodation ever since, and have spent most of the last 8 months in hotels.
Their belonging are in storage and they are currently living in an emergency housing unit.

This is just some of it.

Lets just say that Mum lost the plot a bit over the weekend and went AWOL.
I'm pretty sure she is feeling terrible, absolutely terrible.
She loves her son - I know that much - and would never intentionally hurt him like this - things can just get a bit much for all of us.

Makes you thankful for what you have eh?
And a lot more thankful for what you don't have.......

G
xx

Found

She has been found and is ok.

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes,

Will write some more later....gotta go!!

G
xx

Still No News

Still nothing........

What a worry.......


G
xx

Where Is She????

Small Man's friend from Hobart, the one who comes to stay, who is a full time carer for his Mum, whose Mum took 'too much' of her medication recently and was in hospital for a week.......

She has been missing for over 24 hours.

Where is she??

She went to the supermarket yesterday morning, and hasn't returned.

He called the police last night and they have been around this morning.......

They took photos etc.

Mum is in her late 50's, needs pain medication for a back injury, doesn't have 'boyfriends', didn't take her phone.....


G
xx

Cracks

I feel like I've had the rug pulled out from under me....

As if all of the shit of the last few years has just fallen on me all at once, Small Man, my job, dumbarse doctors x 100, Possum......

I am trying to pull myself up and out if it but it's not working....

I'm trying to look at each issue individually and work on each thing separately.

But it's not working.

To make things worse Big A has decided to start applying for a new job, has had one interview and another one next week.

It's just not what I need at the moment.

His work pays for half of our health insurance.

If he goes to a lower paying job there's no way we'll be able to afford it.

With Small Man and his situation so up in the air I have no idea when something is going to be done.
It could be in two months - it could be in 6 months or more.

I won't exactly be loving my job when these changes come in but I have to stay put until everything is sorted out.......

I hope I feel better tomorrow, I don't like this, I have managed to keep going and not dwell or get too down for so long.................but it is late, I'm fat, the house is a mess, Small Man hasn't been well at all for the last few days, this stupid bloody sinus thing has come back........and....and......

G
xxx

Just a little more before I'm done

I held on until I was in total darkness in bed last night,
I cried and cried, silent tears so as not to alert anyone.

This should never have happened.

It was supposed to be 'his' night - two years of struggling through the maze that is that college (not the layout, the lack of clarity).

We can't even keep the programme for a memento of the evening, because his name isn't even printed in it.

The last few weeks have been just as bad.

He has turned up for lessons only to find they aren't on.....

He even turned up for a 'student free' day a month or so ago - because he hadn't been told it was student free.

So basically today he goes to music this afternoon, last lesson of the day and that's it.

Doesn't get a chance to say goodbye to his teachers.......it all seems very strange.

He was thinking he was able to finish something for English Writing this week, but the class wasn't on, the teacher wasn't there - so he's worried he'll fail the subject now :(
He admitted this to me last night.

I'm not as concerned about this as I am his VET IT course, which is the main thing.
It would be a shame though as last year he scored an OA (outstanding achievement for English Writing).

I did have a long conversation with his English teacher a few months ago when Poss was really, really run down with the vitamin D deficiency, and asked him to RING ME if Poss got behind in his work.........I also let the ADD subject into the conversation, as we haven't ever made a point of doing so unless necessary - he has NEVER EVER used it as an excuse.
His teacher told me he suspected something.
So why couldn't he have called me and discussed Possums work????

His PC teacher (this is supposed to mean 'Pastoral CARE) teacher told me a few weeks ago that Possum is 'up to date' on his work.
I asked him specifically about the graduation evening, and a few other things, and he only replied to my query about employment coming up with the education dept.
Admittedly he did call the front office with Possum to ask what Possum should wear to graduation, but the answer was just 'no trackpants' - leaves it all a bit open.
So I emailed them myself on Wednesday.

Wednesday evening an Assistant Principal called me to answer my question, she didn't mention RSVP's.
She was helpful though, in that Possum was (maybe) supposed to do a general numeracy test since he didn't take maths as a separate subject in college (he had done pre-tertiary in high school) - so he then only needed to do a general online test to give him a score on his TCE.

Well, this has been harder to organise than it should have been - once again very unclear.

He went for the test Tuesday, just as he arrived an announcement over the PA - all students to assembly.
He didn't know what to do..
So the poor kid sat in the empty maths classroom.
Wednesday was no better, and he didn't know who to ask or what to do.
He is painfully shy and introverted in situations like this where he doesn't feel confident.
So thankfully I found out from the assistant principal who to see and what to do.....he did the test yesterday and said it was quite easy.........phew.........after all that.

These are just a few of the things.

Remember last year and all of the 'hacking' accusations and dealings I had with the IT dept??......bloody hell........

Thank god it's over.....nearly.

I hope they don't ring today re: last night.
One of the ladies (teacher? assistant principal?) on the desk was quite concerned, knowing what had happened.
When she saw us walk out she came outside and tried to help.
I was so close to tears at that stage I was afraid to speak too much - thank goodness I had my sunnies.
The same would happen today.
So much emotion has built up for him over the years, they have no idea what a struggle college has been for him.

But I do.

In the mean time he is taking a few weeks annual leave from work.
When he returns his boss has organised for him to fill in as 'Special Kitchen Hand' for the usual guy while he is on annual leave.
This will be something different for him, basically it's every other job besides cooking, and is all day work - a good change for him.
Funny how he seems to keep up with everything at HJ's - and he's not afraid to ask his bosses questions - perhaps they have a better idea of how to communicate with teenagers??

G
xx

It was (almost) the worst of times....

Possum looked gorgeous in his pale green open neck shirt, grey pinstriped pants, black belt and shoes.

We arrived quite early, but car spaces were rapidly filling up.

We lined up at the enormous doors behind many other families to wait for our registration.

When it came to our turn Possum wasn't on the list.

So we had to go to another table and get a sticker with his name printed on it.

And they wrote his name onto a piece of paper.

They told us we would need to ask an usher to seat us as no seats had been allocated.

We decided to wait outside for Big A.

We flicked through the program and discovered that Possums name was not listed with the grade 12 graduates.

He started getting upset.

He felt like he shouldn't be there.

I went back in and asked the nice lady at the table a few things and she assured me he would be right, and to send him in and she'd talk to him - he didn't want to.

Big A arrived and we tried to sit down, and I'm trying to tell him what was happening.

The usher took Possum to a seat a few rows ahead of us.

5 minutes later he moved him again, to someone elses seat!!!!!

I didn't know this yet (about it being someone elses seat) but I could feel him getting upset even though I couldn't see him.

I sent him a text msg to ask, are you o.k.?

He wrote back 'No - I am sitting in another persons seat, god I hope they don't turn up'

So I wrote back, would you like to stay, or leave?

He said 'I'd like to go'

So we left.

As we were walking out the nice lady saw us leaving and came out to ask if everything was ok.

We told her what happened and how he now was sitting in someones seat, and we thought it best if we leave as he was getting upset.

I'm close to tears at this stage.

Apparently there was an rsvp he was supposed to return - ummm yeah? Really?
O.K. would have helped if either he or I had known this.....nothing about it in the newsletter or on the website.

I thought quickly and suggested we take him for a drink at the casino.

If we had gone straight home it would have been a disaster, I had to stop myself from crying.

So we went to the casino, toasted our son on his achievements.....

Then the little bugger won $125 on the pokies.

So at least he came home with a smile on his face.

Who knows how the graduation evening went.................................... :(


G
xxx

Extreme Empty Nest-iness

Oh dear.....it's creeping in again.

College Graduation evening tomorrow night and I'm awash with emotion.....joy, pride, fear, love, nervousness, relief...did I mention fear?

With two sons we have all of the 'firsts' with Possum, and then all of the 'my baby' with Small Man.....

I am so proud of my Possum for all that he has accomplished, against a few more odds than most.
At the age of 3 he could count backwards from 100.
At the age of 4 he taught himself to read - so as to work the computer.
A loud and sometimes outspoken child, we would never lose him in a crowd!
He's not like that any more!!!

Everyone could always rely on Possum to say what everyone else was thinking.
Now we have to drag things out of him!!
From this he developed such a supportive group of friends, several of them attended his 18th birthday.

Never one to be that 'into' art - one of his primary school teachers described a drawing he did as having a ' Savant like' perspective.

He learnt to play the violin a little during primary school, then later found a passion for the guitar.

In grade 5 his NAPLAN test result placed him in the top 5% in Tasmania.

He won several awards in the same year - first place was awarded for a statewide Science talent search and English competition - he had written a poem that won :)

At the age of 8 he was diagnosed with severe ADHD.
The medication roundabout was difficult and distressing for a time until we got it 'right'.

By the time he reached puberty and High School he was a lot more settled, and his eye colour turned from blue to green at the same time.......an unusual occurrence at that age :)

He took an interest in hockey in High School - after trying tennis during earlier years, swimming, milo cricket etc etc. Where he may not have had natural talent he persevered, and persevered.
He was part of the team that made it to the grand final for hockey in grade 10 - the result was a draw!

He was able to achieve all level 5 'A's' in pre-tertiary Maths in grade 10 - so wasn't required to take maths classes in college (unless he wanted to).

By the time he was 13 he was keen to work, so I set him to work for my company delivering catalogues.
He kept going with this for approximately 18 months.
He then started at Hungry Jacks in September 2007.
He has worked weeknights and weekends without much more than a weeks break once or twice for the last two years, an average of 20 hours per week on top of high school/college/work experience.....

To say I am proud of him would be an understatement.

Regardless of what his actual 'grades' are at the end of this year - in my mind he is a success.

He had more reason that most to give up or not 'be bothered', and there have been times when keeping him organised have taken their toll, and it has been very stressful, but I would do it all over again.

Just another step towards empty nest-iness for me,

*sigh*

G
xxx

Really????

Dilemmas dilemmas!

If there was such thing as 'the perfect job' for me......well it presented itself yesterday.

Scouring the online job pages (as I do) for Possum I came across an absolute gem.

The City Mission here is advertising for someone to start up an eBay store, pick the best clothes to sell, and sell them, lead a team etc

Squeeee!

That would be like, my dream!!!

I've had about 8 years experience buying/selling on eBay.......not so much of the selling lately though ;)

The job is 15 hours per week initially.

Big A reckons it's 'volunteer' - but they made no mention of this in the ad.

OK - the downsides:

I would need to give 6 weeeks notice to HC as per my contract, and because I wouldn't dump them and leave everyone in the lurch

It's our busiest time of year - trying to do both would be very difficult, if not close to impossible depending on the hours/days of the week the mission were wanting

There is a good chance of us having to go to Melbourne again soon, date unknown.
I couldn't start a new job and then ask for time off

Small Man needs (must, it's part of the rules) supervision with distance ed.......

Bugger!

If the timing had been different, if I was more sure of what was happening with Small Man......

At least, at the moment, I know where I am, what I'm doing and it can be pretty flexible.

Would have been nice to give something different a whirl though,


G
xxx

For Myself

This is going to be a strange post for me.

I actually did something FOR MYSELF on Friday.

Now this is the girl that cuts/colours her own hair, and does own hair extensions, does her own waxing etc etc
Quite happy to buy op shop clothing most of the time and doesn't want for much at all.

I managed to inherit freckles/broken capillaries and uneven skin tone from my bio parents.

It has always bothered me!

I get sick of slathering/trowelling on an inch of foundation just to leave the house.

Sure, I could accept it as 'how I am' and not worry but I do have a certain amount of pride (not vanity, pride!).

So 3 weeks ago I went for a consulatation to a specialist clinic here.

I realised just how self conscious I have become about my skin when I felt somewhat mortified to have to remove my makeup and have a photo taken......EEEEEKK!
The photo is for both before and after purposes, and they have a special program that shows the nurse where the redness is, even if it's still under the skin.

The quote for IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) for the areas I needed was $220.
I was expecting it to be much higher.
If the capillaries had been worse I could have claimed it all through medicare.

So Friday was the big day.

I wasn't sure what to expect - oh my - very painful.

It felt like a cross between an electric shock and a white hot poker for around 3 seconds.

The whole procedure took less than 15 minutes (thank goodness!).

I had the usual after effect of looking sunburnt - but the difference was immediate - oh wow!!!
Big A even said it looked like I had foundation on the next morning :)

I was warned that I shouldn't have any social engagements for the next 3 or 4 days following treatment.

I can see why!!!!

Friday night I had raised areas both vertical and horizontal 'stripes' on my cheeks.

Saturday I woke up and the areas under my eyes were so puffy I looked like I had been punched or had extreme conjunctivitis or something - very amusing to everyone here - ha ha!

This morning it's slightly better, my left eye is still swollen but not too bad.

The bonus to all of this is not just fixing up the capillaries but there is an improvement to the texture and tone of my skin that I am really pleased with.

So the pain and swelling are worth the result.

The other bonus - the end price was $180.

I go back in 6 weeks to have it all checked, there may be a few veins that need a re-shoot.

I would recommend this to anyone with similar problems with their skin, if it is affecting your confidence.
The IPL is used for permanent hair removal also.

I would have taken a photo for you...but my webcam isn't working....oh well...not to worry...tee hee!


G
xxx

Truth

So - the 'second opinion' was today.

Nice guy, he actually didn't say anything to piss me off really, was polite, interested, and appeared impartial.

I got to use the "What makes you think I HAVEN'T got ADD?' line - ha ha ha ha!!

His answer? "I don't know"

And then finally the truth about why they are putting us (ADD patients here) through such an interrogation.

Someone somewhere has decided that Dr M - my original doctor - was prescribing "Too many stimulant medications" and it was decided that every person that came up for review this year would be harshly scrutinised.
OK - well just to start with Dr M had an advertisement in the yellow pages as 'Specialising in child/adult ADD/ADHD' so one would assume that would increase the number of appointments from ADD families, hence the increased prescription rate?

Why couldn't that other F*ckwit have explained this?
Doesn't change the fact that it is wrong, but I asked him directly if he had a problem with Dr M's diagnosis's - and he didn't tell me .

Also he mentioned about trying Strattera (non stimulant medication - got it for Possum once - $125 per script) - when I told him this he reckons it's now on the PBS? Who cares, it doesn't work for us.
So then I dropped this ~ 'To be prescribed Strattera I would have to have a diagnosis of ADD - so if that is my diagnosis why not let me stay on the medication that actually works?'
Yeah - no answer to THAT one.

I was on fire with the comebacks today.

I even asked him if he believes in adult ADHD and how many patients is he currently treating/prescribing?

Because if he doesn't then the result of my appointment was a foregone conclusion and another waste of my time.....

He answered that one with that it's all on a professional basis, and his personal beliefs don't come into it.
Sure.
It'd be like me recommending a product to someone that I know is crap/faulty/doesn't work.
No answer on how many patients though......

So anyway, no answer today he wants to go over it all and will then send a letter to my GP and the other freak that I saw last time.

I'm not holding my breath for the outcome I need.

Although he did look when I said if I don't get approval from there that I will send me to a private doctor anyway.......take that!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news ~ I sent an email to Small Mans doctor in Melbourne (while I'm on a roll) ~ I hadn't heard from him, my GP sent a letter a month or so ago and we hadn't received a reply.

Anyway he replied first thing this morning and mentioned another option for Small Man ~ it's called an intragastric balloon.
Basically a balloon which is filled with water is put into the stomach via the mouth (so no surgery) under twilight sedation, it is in for 6 months then removed.

It is designed to make the stomach feel full.

Less invasive than a lap band, but less permanent and I'm not sure if private health will cover it (what I read was they will cover the removal, not the insertion??? Wha ??) - $6000 is a lot to pay for 6 months, whereas the lap band is fully covered and stays in as long as needed....

He wants to research it further and is getting back to me, he asked if I wanted to bring Small Man over to see him...not sure it's needed just at present...our GP is amazing and any real concerns he can deal with for now.

So lots to consider at the moment.

I feel quite exhausted after so much in my head today,

G
xxx

Possums First...

Job application emailed today.

It's for a Trainee Technician at a local IT/computer fixing/selling type store......

Sounds ideal.....full time....permanent.....

Any good vibes you could send would be most appreciated :)

G
xx

Slightly

More reassured today.

I saw my GP

Who is awesome

He has printed off letters for me to take on Monday,

one being my original diagnosis.

It says I 'Undoubtedly have severe Attention Deficit Disorder'.

Wow...I'd never read this one.

He said if I don't have any luck Monday he will keep sending me to people until someone approves me.
He said it was bullshit that I should have to go through this.
And the doctor I saw is known for 'anti-medication' - so why did the hospital send me to him???


In other related news the lady I have been in contact with that runs the ADD support group
saw the same doctor I did, and was told virtually the same thing

I am meeting with her tomorrow

That will be interesting, I wonder if either of us will get a word in....ha ha!!!

Regardless of the outcome Monday, I will still be putting in a complaint to the medical ombudsman....and have considered emailing the health minister also.

People shouldn't be treated like this.

Time to shake things up a little...even if it's just a reminder for them to start doing their jobs properly.

G
xx

Not Just Me....

I just had a reply from the president of the ADD support group here,
she recently had her 'review' as well.......and was told the same thing as me.

She is also panicking because her prescription repeats run out at about the same time as mine.....


Safety in numbers?

She offered to meet with me this week to put our heads together and see what we can come up with.....

Interesting........so now there are two of us.....how many more I wonder?

G
xx

Slight Brainwave

I have contacted the local ADD/ADHD support group (via email there wasn't a phone number)

and told them briefly what has happened

and asked if they know of someone in the area that prescribes for adults

I thought that may be a good way of finding out


G
xx

p.s. I have pretty much made up my mind that a complaint to the medical tribunal is in order, since correct procedure was not followed in my opinion (DSM IV wasn't used)......take that ya bastard!!!! No-one should have to go through that........

Shut Down

Today was shut down day.

The week caught up.....all of the emotion and physical/mental exertion snuck up then hurtled towards me all at once, leaving me flat today

I actually went to bed early last night - by early I mean 10.30pm

So today I spent on the couch in my dressing gown with a book

Not just any book though, Life Among The Dead by Lisa Williams

It arrived yesterday

I read the whole thing this afternoon

An incredible story and just what I needed to wipe my mind completely for a while

I can't say any more about yesterday....

Or the horrible appointment.....

But I did open some mail today that I hadn't seen sitting on the bench

One letter was my 'second opinion' appointment card

Monday 26th - 11am.

To start with I don't 'do' morning appointments unless I absolutely have no other choice...I never have....that's one thing that has never changed

Secondly they have booked me in with a doctor that's at least 70 years old.....or he has aged very badly and is actually mid - late 60's

So maybe he did a conference some time in the 80's re: ADD and has read a few articles in Psych Monthly or whatever.......just brilliant.........out of the frying pan into the fire.......

I'll try and see my GP Monday, I couldn't make an appointment Friday with everything going on.

*sigh*

At least next week is expected to be quieter, a more typical week......

G
xxx

Relieved

I'm so pleased I went to the funeral today.

My friend has been in shock and too upset to contact anyone and ask them to come.

Thank goodness for my other friend who scours the notices in the paper......

The service was a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman.

Remarkable really.

She was only diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago.....

Will write some more tomorrow,
it's been a long day.

G
xx

Rant over, feeling calmer about it all now - that's not to say it will go in my favour though.

Got to cross each bridge as it comes, which I usually do........

I haven't heard a thing, nothing back from my GP but also nothing from the assholes at the hospital either re: my 'second opinion'.............


Extremely busy day yesterday,
cooking my now famous curried chicken....all day...thought Possum might need a good feed after work experience......and CS might like a good feed after camp.....

My peeps coming and going picking up their orders,

Possum having parking issues at work experience ending with him bringing his car home and me dropping him back there,

Meeting another peep from work to give her her order,

Boys returning tired and cranky from camp (and sore from some strenuous activities),
dropping cranky tired boys at home only to go back into town to pick up Possum.......who came home ate a sandwich and headed off to a poker evening......CS enjoyed his curried chicken though.....
so much to unpack and wash and sort out after camp.....

In the middle of all of this I got a msg to say my friends Mum died.
The funeral is today.
I don't see my friend much these days as she is living in Melbourne,
but the message I received back from her last night tells me she is a total wreck.

I will go this afternoon, as much as I am really nervous about going alone I will do it - for her.

So one more person to come this morning, and another order to drop off before the funeral this afternoon and I'm done.

Think I might sleep in tomorrow........

G
xx
Before and after photos of Possums haircut ~ for anyone not on Facebook :)

A look into my mind.....

Just to explain why I am dreading 'going back'.

Please read my previous post for this to make sense :)

These are the actual DSM IV questions that you are SUPPOSED to be asked for diagnosis.
I can answer YES to all of these, some affect me much worse than others, some are still persistant even with medication, but most are improved greatly with it.
Over the last ten years I have learnt a few strategies to help with some of these, or, I have learnt 'How to be'.
Granted most of us could answer 'Yes' to some of these some of the time.
For me it was yes to almost all of these nearly every day, with a rare few hours of what I can only describe as 'clarity' - if I was lucky I would get a full day.

1. Do you often make careless mistakes when you have to work on a boring and difficult project?

2. Do you often have difficulty keeping your attention when you are doing boring or repetitive work?

3. Do you often have difficulty concentrating on what people say to you, even when they are speaking to you directly?

4. Do you often have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?

5. Do you often have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?

6. When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, do you often avoid or delay getting started?

7. Do you often misplace or have difficulty finding things at home or at work?

8. Are you often distracted by activity or noise around you?

9. Do you often have problems remembering appointments or obligations?

Another list of 'symptoms' included:

The Inattentive Attention Deficit Disorder person can be sluggish, slow moving and difficult to motivate. These are the daydreamers who spend much time with their heads in the clouds or in a brain fog. They are disorganized.

This type shuts down when too many demands are made on their ability to listen, focus, concentrate and learn. This type has trouble listening and registering the content when others talk to them. When tasks become to difficult, they simply blank out and the harder this type tries to concentrate, the worse the “shut-down” becomes. This type can miss large gaps in learning.

Since this type quietly goes about their business instead of grating on the nerves of everyone around them, the Inattentive type of Attention Deficit Disorder often goes undiagnosed. People with this “quiet” form of Attention Deficit are often labeled as lazy, defiant or uninterested instead of given the help they need to overcome their Attention Deficit problems. The inattentive type of Attention Deficit Disorder is seen most often in girls.

Inattentive characteristics: (Not all need to be present)
_ Primary ADD symptoms (attentional problems, distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity).
_ Low energy level/sluggish.
_ Procrastination.
_ Often late.
_ Easily bored.
_ Short attention span, especially for routine matters, tasks that are not interesting or tasks that are difficult.
_ Often does not complete tasks.
_ Excessive daydreaming or “Spacing Out.”

Yes to all of these.

I also read today that officially ADD/ADHD DID NOT EXIST in the medical world until 1979 - so what hope would I have had of being diagnosed as a child? Buckleys!

I have emailed my GP and told him what happened.
I also explained that I don't feel I will receive an unbiased 'review' at the next appointment, and am reluctant to attend......but we have such a shortage of doctors here (and they are very clicky) so at the moment my options aren't great.

The flow on effect of this could have some very negative effects on all areas of my life.
Sure, when I'm old and not working and I'm expected to be forgetful I can give it away (except maybe for bingo days...ha ha!) but for now it helps me live a fairly normal life, hold down a job, keep a household together.....mostly......

G
xxx

Don't you just love it....NOT....VERY ANGRY!!!.....

Don't you just LOVE IT................

.....when you had been diagnosed with something 10 years ago,
and have been successfully taking medication for 10 years without any problem.

You also have a son with the same 'condition'......

You go for another humiliating medication 'review'

Review being you get whoever the public hospital assigns to you regardless of their experience or recent update in training

This doctor then tells you you don't need the medication, and that your son (who he has never laid eyes on) 'has grown out of it'

The same doctor asks you stupid on the spot questions like 'How would you describe yourself' and 'What makes you think you have ADD'

Like it was a parole hearing or something

I am not good with on the spot questions like that

I am also not good with idiots that don't even know the 3 sub categories of ADD - Inattentive (which is me), Hyperactive/Impulsive, and Combined (which is a bit of each).
He even reckons that stimulant medication wouldn't be prescribed for me!!!!
OMG could he be any less informed????

I asked him if perhaps he didn't like my original doctor that did the diagnosis - or just didn't agree with a single diagnosis he has made, simply because he was forced into early retirement due to 'legal issues' and some personal scandal (long story)

So, once again I am reduced to tears, in front of a medical student as well

He also had the cheek to say that I would have been diagnosed as a child if I really had ADD - UMM HELLO???? There was no such thing when I was a child.
Every article I have read on adult ADD clearly states that often a parent is diagnosed after one of their children has been diagnosed, and that the Inattentive type is very often overlooked. Wanker.

In the end I said I should never have been put on medication, it has given me a taste of normal life, normal functionality - if they were going to play god every time and threaten to take it away from me

So basically he refused to sign the paperwork as me having adult ADD (I think he had decided before I even went in that this would be his decision).
I now have to be subjected to a 'second opinion' - at the same place - tell me that's going to be a fair assesment!!!

My GP won't be too happy.

I am going to try and get hold of a private doctor that has at least a few patients with adult ADD already - no point going to someone else that hasn't brushed up on their training since 1975 - and who doen't believe adult ADD exists.

I am really concerned.

I also threw in 'That's fine, I'll be out of a job in 12 months though'
He couldn't have given a shit.

So anyway, I am back from my huge trek today, boys dropped off safely.
Just had to get this off my chest.

Time to do some work.

G
xx

Not a real lot

To say :)

Just Hi to everyone.

I have a massive week ahead of me, so may not be around much until after Friday....

Boys coming and going, with me taking them and collecting them.

Camp this week,
friends staying...
me driving them to camp Tuesday.....in Ulverstone...
medication review Monday (bloody crap...whatever),
a huge order coming Wednesday (triple the usual),
back from camp Thursday,
friends staying til Friday,
washing,
packing.......
groceries to buy for camp.......

hopefully trying to co-ordinate a hair cut for Possum during all of this/and his work.......he still likes me to go with him for hair cuts.
I think he wants to get all of the gorgeous and now very long curls cut off again.......NNNOOOOO!
It's such beautiful hair (not cos I'm biased, it just is).
The hairdressers walk behind him and stop for a look at the curls.....
He gets many comments like 'Cool hair bro'....
He wants to look a bit more 'straight cut' for work experience etc.....it's always clean and tidy it's just long.
I'll try and get a photo of it before he gets it cut....*sigh*

Oh well better go and get beds ready, decide what to feed the troops for tea, make sure Possum is organised for work this afternoon.....and so on.

No CT results yet....I won't have a free day to get results until Friday.
My nose has started to fix itself up....if I had to guess I would say it was just a very bad infection/virus thing that has taken a very long time to come right......I'm still not 100% but I am quite a bit better than last week....


G
xx

Another one of 'those' days

I felt a bit better yesterday, so over did it......a lot.....

Last night was very, very exciting - I finally got to bed at 12.30am.....

And woke up far earlier than I had to be......

Which caught up later in the day...........

So I missed the darn bank......

And it's Show Day here tomorrow so the banks are shut.....

*OOPS!!!*

Luckily my account isn't much this week and I covered it with my credit card......

CT all done this afternoon

Probably another inconclusive waste of time but anyway.......

We'll see.

I guess I should have made an appointment to get the results......better do that I suppose.

I just need to feel better than this!

So much coming up over the next few weeks.......

Camp for Small Man next week

His buddy from Hobart is coming up Sunday to stay

Until Tuesday when they will leave for camp together.

He has another sleep over at another mates Saturday night

We are going to a friends place for tea

And the boys have grown out of accompanying us

Possum is working, so SM is off to spend the night with his friend (who is also going to camp)

Most excellent for him :)

And I think Big A is taking him to the show on Friday

They will enjoy it :)

Busy Thursday as usual tomorrow doing my deliveries ~ and I have to be 'on' as usual ~ it is important to be enthusiastic,

even if on the inside you feel drained and under the weather.

It can be tiring.

But I love it just the same :)


Hope you all have a great night/day,

G
xx

Glowing in the dark....

Haven't been around here that much over the last week,
thanks everyone that commented on my last post :)

Lou - yes, I have seen John Edward on t.v. here - I think he is touring in Aus soon.
They do work in a similar way :)

I finally bit the bullet and went to see my GP Thursday - I'm just not picking up and my nose is still an issue, along with the fatigue and so on........and on it goes.....

He is sending me for a CT scan of my sinuses/brain (ha ha good luck finding anything there!).
Mostly because my nose still bleeds every time I blow it - and I have been getting pins and needles in my head - all left sided....not to mention the headaches and looking as white as a sheet.
He thinks it may be some sort of blockage/polyp or something.

Basically I feel like crap and am really struggling to get through the day.
Two morning last week I got Possum up and off to school, then fell asleep on the couch for an hour.....

Going Wednesday for the CT - I may end up glowing in the dark from all of the CT's/MRI's/Xrays I have had over the last few years.............ha ha!
Thank heavens for medicare safety nets..................

Extremely quiet weekend for me - Small Man stayed at his mates house Saturday night then again last night (they don't have set classes with Distance Ed on Mondays).
Possum worked Saturday night until late, then all day Sunday.
Big A had night shift all weekend.

It finally got the better of me Saturday night and I vacuumed, mopped, cleaned the bathroom, half a dozen loads of washing, ironed a few things.......
I was starting to feel SO far behind on everything around here - mostly because I actually was so far behind......
So at least it's all done....for now.

So I'm not exactly a ball of fun at the moment (am I ever??!!).

I found out last week that I may not be allowed to wait until the end of this year/early next year for these changes to be implemented within my team.
They are threatening to cut my commission as an 'encouragement' to sign over.
Sounds like being forced if you ask me.
I'm not up to it.
I am debating over which way to go.
At the moment a cut in pay sounds more preferable to having to run around getting new agreements signed, and having to take on 5 extra team members at out busiest time of the year.
Sales are starting to BOOM already - and our xmas book has only just been issued.......
I haven't been told for sure, my boss just keeps me in the loop - I think she has sussed out that I'm not good with 'surprises'.
She is worth her weight in gold, I am so blessed to have her :)

Love to you,

yes you!

G
xxx

What a Night

O.K. so it's a bit of a late review.....

We had a great time in Melbourne - a very early start (4.30am) to catch our flight - it was raining and windy both here and when we arrived.

Some turbulence on the way over almost got ugly (I had to will myself not to spew on the guy next to me....ewww!), I didn't!
I still wasn't feeling 100% after this sinus infection thing....

We went for breakfast and then hit the DFO at Essendon first thing Friday morning.
We spent around 5 hours there :)
Lots of bargains picked up for Big A and the boys - a few things for me - to be honest I didn't feel up to trying clothes on.
From there we went to Smith Street to the Nike/Adidas/Converse etc outlets
Further bargains purchased there.
I think we bought something like 3 pairs of trackpants, 7 t-shirts, 2 tops, 1 pair of shoes, 1 pair of jeans, 2 jumpers and two necklaces in the end for two days shopping.

From there we headed to our hotel to check in, park the hire car (poor old Big A had quite a distance to walk back from the car park in the rain).
I had another shower and re-scrubbed up while Big A took a power nap :)

Time to leave for dinner so we made our way there on the tram.
It was a busy night, people everywhere - the usual commuters plus grand final crowds.

We had a beautiful dinner at Cafe On Bourke - Big A's favourite place to eat in Melbourne.
Spaghetti Marinara - yum!

Time to jump onto another tram and head to the show.

Lisa Williams - what can I say?

The anticipation was electric!

The show couldn't be described adequately in words.

Lisa described the show we went to as 'intense'

She was right!

She read for two - two and a half hours straight after an intro into what would happen.

Some were really incredible - the amount of detail she goes into amazing.

My head was totally fuzzy by the end of the show - just all of the energy in the room.
I picked up on a lot of disappointment from those that didn't get a reading.
It's really not an arena you can go into and expect to get a reading - there were over a thousand people there!

I was really pleased we went.
I think Big A is somewhat less sceptical now......

From there we went to Crown casino for a few hours - so after a very early start we got to bed at 1am.....oh well, don't do it every day!

The next morning was a big brekkie at the hotel, check out, then a bit more shopping at DFO Spencer Street - only because we were just up the road.

We then went to Big A's parents to watch the grand final - had lunch - afternoon tea - followed by some homemade chicken soup MIL had made for us........it was actually a fairly pleasant day.

Time to leave for the airport - and yes, I drove, in Melbourne, on grand final day........the knuckles were white and the stomach in a major knot....but I did it.

The flight back was uneventful - we were pretty worn out.

Came home to a very clean and tidy house, animals fed and happy - I was so proud of my boys!!!
I would have no hesitation in leaving them overnight again - wow - they did so well :)

So that's it......lots to unpack of course - Possum had to work early Sunday morning so I saw him off and went back to bed - til midday *ahem*.

Still struggling physically, I mustn't be 100% recovered yet - my nose is still playing up - but I really, really can't be stuffed going back to the doctor AGAIN.

So I'll see how it goes.

Have been so tired today it's ridiculous.

Hope fully tomorrow will be better.............

G
xxxx

Catch Ya!

Catch you all Sunday :)

Very early start tomorrow (need to be up at 4.30am) - and we'll be back late Saturday night.

Not taking my laptop this time.......

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday for Saturday Natalie xxx

G
xxx

p.s. Any facebook status updates from 'me' between now and then.....for example asking what to do if the grill catches on fire or the cat superglues his paws together......please respond......ha ha ha!
This is the boys first night on their own for the whole night.....I have every faith in them they are very responsible......but ya never know!!

UNFRIKKENBELIEVABLE!!!

I have discussed the nuiscance caller problem with 2 of my managers and the other manager that lives near us.

Actually one of them (manager AX) was there when she repeatedly rang my mobile.
I made it quite clear to him that she was unsuitable - and he agreed.

Anyway - manager AX had an ad in Saturdays paper.
I sent him an email to once again say that she had been calling me repeatedly despite my letters and so on.
I said that she would no doubt ring him again this week.
I told him that it was up to him if he wished to interview her, then perhaps tell her she was unsuccessful.
I asked him to let me know if he'd like my help with this - I know some people find it difficult.

So anyway, I just checked my email and he had replied.

HE INTERVIEWED HER TODAY, AND HAS PUT HER ON!!!!!!

I have had this issue so many times with him it's getting ridiculous.
He just will not listen.

I hope she rings him day and night.

I replied with - 'Oh...o.k. up to you....I hope she doesn't harass the customers like she has me'

When these new changes take place he will no longer be my concern - that will be one good thing about it.......................

Far out I'm angry!!!!!!!!

G
xx

Stalkers

I can't stand people that use the telephone as a method to their madness.

I have had an ongoing problem with a phone..shall we call 'pest' for the last few months.

The woman called me after an advertisement looking for people for work.

Her manner on the phone was just plain weird - rude and abrupt.
Not off to a good start - we are in customer service - rudeness doesn't go down well.
She asked me to post her out some 'literature'.
Unusual as we usually meet people face to face.
I obliged, and also included a questionnaire for her to complete.

She rang to say she had received it, (left a msg) and repeated her address and phone number several times throughout the message - weird.
She posted the 'literature' back - the handwriting was illegible - I'm not kidding - I couldn't make out more than a few words.
Not really good if she needed to leave a note for a customer, or if they can't read her phone number.

I sent her a letter thanking her for her interest, and that we did not have a vacancy in the area she requested or anything close by, that we would keep her details and get back to her if something came up (trying to be let her down gently).

She then called a week or two later to say that she received my letter and wouldn't keep calling me, and hoped to hear from me soon.

A few weeks passed and I hadn't heard from her.
Then she started calling my work number repeatedly, as in 8 or 9 times in a row and not leaving a message.
She then calls my mobile.
I know the number now and just don't answer it - I'm starting to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.
Eventually having called all day (I wasn't here) on a Friday, until 7.30pm - then Saturday morning, she left a message to say that 'Perhaps I could meet with her and she could find out a bit more about me and what HC is all about' but that she doesn't call me much, and won't keep calling.
I ignored this as I had already made it clear there wasn't a vacancy - if this is how she is with me what might she be like with customers? I dread to think.
In the mean time she had also called head office, and one of the other managers - asking the exact same thing - for literature to be posted out.

Last Friday morning she called again - I had the message bank on - no message.
She then calls my mobile.
I ignore it.
I was seriously over it by this stage.
Even though the phone only rings once with the message bank switched on it's enough to wake the Big A when it rings repeatedly - he works 12 hour day and night shifts and needs his sleep!

I send another letter to her last Friday, saying thank you AGAIN for your interest and so on, in other words don't call us, we'll call you.
She would have received this Monday.
Tuesday morning I receive a call from one of the other managers with a lead - GUESS WHO???
She told him she had called me and didn't want to seem 'overbearing'.
OVERBEARING????
That's a polite way of putting it.

I let this go again.
How many times can I repeat the same thing?

So this morning I am woken up by the phone ringing.
I had my mobile switched off.
Guess who????
No message.

I was stalked on the phone as a teenager living at home with Mum and Dad.
It was awful.
He was a very, very sick depraved man.
Some of the things he would say to me I couldnt repeat.
The worst part was he would ring when Mum had gone to work.
He must have lived close by.

One day Mum drove out like she was going to work, and came back again 15 minutes later.
She got to hear him on the phone.
Unfortunately technology back then wasn't as it is today and the ability to trace calls would have been a trickier exericse.
He would call in the morning and then again in the afternoon.
Telling me I looked good in what I was wearing, that he saw me mowing the lawn - rubbish like that - enough to really scare me - I was 16 years old!

Eventually I moved out of home.
I had been away for a few months and decided to go and have a weekend with Dad (Mum had gone by this time).
Dad picked me up from town and we arrived home at about 9pm.
The next morning as if on cue the phone rang.

It was him.

I was a mess.
How could he have known I was there?
This time the call was a threat.

Rather than disrupt things for Dad any further - the previous few months had been a nightmare for him with Mum leaving - I came back up to town and didn't stay at Dads again for a long time.
Why should he have to change his phone number?

I am still funny about the phone.

I can talk on it for hours - but I get a bit thingy about calls from private numbers, or repeated calls where the caller can't leave a message.

If the business with this lady continues I really don't know what to do.
I may ask my boss when she is here.


G
xxx

May as well...

Wasn't sure whether or not to blog tonight.

It feels like there has been a 'shift' here or fragmentation (?) of the old blogging spirit or something, I'm not sure what it is - quite possibly an overactive imagination on my behalf.

Facebook seems to be taking over blogging, quicker I guess but for me 99% of what I would write here I wouldn't like to publicly declare on facebook.....I don't mind what anyone else does but I really like to keep the two separate.

This blog has been an important outlet for me over the last few years, especially to record the time that Small Man is at home, my thoughts and feelings etc
It is not meant to come across as whinging - I write things as they are and as they have happened - happy and positive when it is that way - not positive and not so happy when it is that way, as is life.
It has been such a tremendous help to me to be part of this blog community.
I do hope everyone stays close and a part of it.

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I'm feeling a little bit better today - finally.

An impromptu 'sleep over' for 3 of Possums mates last night - he called me around 11pm from a party that had fizzled out - so the boys ended up here playing guitar hero and having a few drinks.

Great lads - no trouble - very entertaining.

3 of the 4 had to work today - one had an 'open' and started at 8am.
So SOMEONE had to be up early to drop him off at his car (I did offer!), I took the next one home at 8.30am, then Possum and the final friend to get their cars from the party at 10am.
I would say the service at HJ's may have been a tad slow this morning :)

Big A was away down the coast for the night at a fishing dinner - he was home and showered and out the door to the races by 10.30am.
Yeah - he's had an early night tonight......

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Terrible news for a couple that work for me.
The same lovely couple that gave me the wood for my friend,
that were the first to offer to help me last week when I was sick....
Their daughters house burnt down this morning - she and her 4 children weren't at home thank goodness - but she has lost everything - the lot.

Where do you start to help?
My goodness - overwhelming.
Thankfully their daughter is my age - and exactly a size smaller than me - and she is two sizes bigger in tops like I am.
So I have done a major cull of my wardrobe - and have heaps that doesn't fit me any more that I can take for her to start with.
I'm pretty sure most people will focus on the children (which is great) but Mum needs 'stuff' too.
Going to visit them tomorrow.

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My closest friend (that we went to visit the other week) is adjusting to life on her own after her husband was removed from her home.
It's not the first time, however this time he has an avo for 12 months.
This time I don't believe she will forgive to the point of allowing a reconciliation in 12 months time.
Not this time.
Even under these circumstances she is still going through the same processes as if it were a mutal seperation, and of course she is - she loves him despite years of abuse.
I should say, she loved the promise of things improving, which they were never going to.
It's going to be a huge struggle for her emotionally and financially - she has been left in a hole as far as finances are concerned.
So many, many text messages and calls between us over the last few weeks.
We have been friends for 16 years - I'm so glad to be here for her, as we have been for each other over the years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small Man went and stayed with his mate AJ for the first time earlier this week (did I write about this already?).
Anyway - it was a huge success - he stayed for two nights in the end and had a great time :)
So tomorrow AJ is coming to stay here, for a few nights I am guessing - I just go with the flow on these type of thing :)
At least I will feel like the boys have had some fun on the holidays despite the old drag lying on the couch for the first half of it.....
Bah!

So anyway.
I must be off to take my noxious drugs and sort out some more washing and whatever else comes up....before I go to bed.

Love to YOU!

G
xxx


P.S. Ha ha ha! Just looked back at some posts for this time last year....and I had GOUT......ba ha ha ha ha!