Truth

So - the 'second opinion' was today.

Nice guy, he actually didn't say anything to piss me off really, was polite, interested, and appeared impartial.

I got to use the "What makes you think I HAVEN'T got ADD?' line - ha ha ha ha!!

His answer? "I don't know"

And then finally the truth about why they are putting us (ADD patients here) through such an interrogation.

Someone somewhere has decided that Dr M - my original doctor - was prescribing "Too many stimulant medications" and it was decided that every person that came up for review this year would be harshly scrutinised.
OK - well just to start with Dr M had an advertisement in the yellow pages as 'Specialising in child/adult ADD/ADHD' so one would assume that would increase the number of appointments from ADD families, hence the increased prescription rate?

Why couldn't that other F*ckwit have explained this?
Doesn't change the fact that it is wrong, but I asked him directly if he had a problem with Dr M's diagnosis's - and he didn't tell me .

Also he mentioned about trying Strattera (non stimulant medication - got it for Possum once - $125 per script) - when I told him this he reckons it's now on the PBS? Who cares, it doesn't work for us.
So then I dropped this ~ 'To be prescribed Strattera I would have to have a diagnosis of ADD - so if that is my diagnosis why not let me stay on the medication that actually works?'
Yeah - no answer to THAT one.

I was on fire with the comebacks today.

I even asked him if he believes in adult ADHD and how many patients is he currently treating/prescribing?

Because if he doesn't then the result of my appointment was a foregone conclusion and another waste of my time.....

He answered that one with that it's all on a professional basis, and his personal beliefs don't come into it.
Sure.
It'd be like me recommending a product to someone that I know is crap/faulty/doesn't work.
No answer on how many patients though......

So anyway, no answer today he wants to go over it all and will then send a letter to my GP and the other freak that I saw last time.

I'm not holding my breath for the outcome I need.

Although he did look when I said if I don't get approval from there that I will send me to a private doctor anyway.......take that!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news ~ I sent an email to Small Mans doctor in Melbourne (while I'm on a roll) ~ I hadn't heard from him, my GP sent a letter a month or so ago and we hadn't received a reply.

Anyway he replied first thing this morning and mentioned another option for Small Man ~ it's called an intragastric balloon.
Basically a balloon which is filled with water is put into the stomach via the mouth (so no surgery) under twilight sedation, it is in for 6 months then removed.

It is designed to make the stomach feel full.

Less invasive than a lap band, but less permanent and I'm not sure if private health will cover it (what I read was they will cover the removal, not the insertion??? Wha ??) - $6000 is a lot to pay for 6 months, whereas the lap band is fully covered and stays in as long as needed....

He wants to research it further and is getting back to me, he asked if I wanted to bring Small Man over to see him...not sure it's needed just at present...our GP is amazing and any real concerns he can deal with for now.

So lots to consider at the moment.

I feel quite exhausted after so much in my head today,

G
xxx

Possums First...

Job application emailed today.

It's for a Trainee Technician at a local IT/computer fixing/selling type store......

Sounds ideal.....full time....permanent.....

Any good vibes you could send would be most appreciated :)

G
xx

Slightly

More reassured today.

I saw my GP

Who is awesome

He has printed off letters for me to take on Monday,

one being my original diagnosis.

It says I 'Undoubtedly have severe Attention Deficit Disorder'.

Wow...I'd never read this one.

He said if I don't have any luck Monday he will keep sending me to people until someone approves me.
He said it was bullshit that I should have to go through this.
And the doctor I saw is known for 'anti-medication' - so why did the hospital send me to him???


In other related news the lady I have been in contact with that runs the ADD support group
saw the same doctor I did, and was told virtually the same thing

I am meeting with her tomorrow

That will be interesting, I wonder if either of us will get a word in....ha ha!!!

Regardless of the outcome Monday, I will still be putting in a complaint to the medical ombudsman....and have considered emailing the health minister also.

People shouldn't be treated like this.

Time to shake things up a little...even if it's just a reminder for them to start doing their jobs properly.

G
xx

Not Just Me....

I just had a reply from the president of the ADD support group here,
she recently had her 'review' as well.......and was told the same thing as me.

She is also panicking because her prescription repeats run out at about the same time as mine.....


Safety in numbers?

She offered to meet with me this week to put our heads together and see what we can come up with.....

Interesting........so now there are two of us.....how many more I wonder?

G
xx

Slight Brainwave

I have contacted the local ADD/ADHD support group (via email there wasn't a phone number)

and told them briefly what has happened

and asked if they know of someone in the area that prescribes for adults

I thought that may be a good way of finding out


G
xx

p.s. I have pretty much made up my mind that a complaint to the medical tribunal is in order, since correct procedure was not followed in my opinion (DSM IV wasn't used)......take that ya bastard!!!! No-one should have to go through that........

Shut Down

Today was shut down day.

The week caught up.....all of the emotion and physical/mental exertion snuck up then hurtled towards me all at once, leaving me flat today

I actually went to bed early last night - by early I mean 10.30pm

So today I spent on the couch in my dressing gown with a book

Not just any book though, Life Among The Dead by Lisa Williams

It arrived yesterday

I read the whole thing this afternoon

An incredible story and just what I needed to wipe my mind completely for a while

I can't say any more about yesterday....

Or the horrible appointment.....

But I did open some mail today that I hadn't seen sitting on the bench

One letter was my 'second opinion' appointment card

Monday 26th - 11am.

To start with I don't 'do' morning appointments unless I absolutely have no other choice...I never have....that's one thing that has never changed

Secondly they have booked me in with a doctor that's at least 70 years old.....or he has aged very badly and is actually mid - late 60's

So maybe he did a conference some time in the 80's re: ADD and has read a few articles in Psych Monthly or whatever.......just brilliant.........out of the frying pan into the fire.......

I'll try and see my GP Monday, I couldn't make an appointment Friday with everything going on.

*sigh*

At least next week is expected to be quieter, a more typical week......

G
xxx

Relieved

I'm so pleased I went to the funeral today.

My friend has been in shock and too upset to contact anyone and ask them to come.

Thank goodness for my other friend who scours the notices in the paper......

The service was a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman.

Remarkable really.

She was only diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago.....

Will write some more tomorrow,
it's been a long day.

G
xx

Rant over, feeling calmer about it all now - that's not to say it will go in my favour though.

Got to cross each bridge as it comes, which I usually do........

I haven't heard a thing, nothing back from my GP but also nothing from the assholes at the hospital either re: my 'second opinion'.............


Extremely busy day yesterday,
cooking my now famous curried chicken....all day...thought Possum might need a good feed after work experience......and CS might like a good feed after camp.....

My peeps coming and going picking up their orders,

Possum having parking issues at work experience ending with him bringing his car home and me dropping him back there,

Meeting another peep from work to give her her order,

Boys returning tired and cranky from camp (and sore from some strenuous activities),
dropping cranky tired boys at home only to go back into town to pick up Possum.......who came home ate a sandwich and headed off to a poker evening......CS enjoyed his curried chicken though.....
so much to unpack and wash and sort out after camp.....

In the middle of all of this I got a msg to say my friends Mum died.
The funeral is today.
I don't see my friend much these days as she is living in Melbourne,
but the message I received back from her last night tells me she is a total wreck.

I will go this afternoon, as much as I am really nervous about going alone I will do it - for her.

So one more person to come this morning, and another order to drop off before the funeral this afternoon and I'm done.

Think I might sleep in tomorrow........

G
xx
Before and after photos of Possums haircut ~ for anyone not on Facebook :)

A look into my mind.....

Just to explain why I am dreading 'going back'.

Please read my previous post for this to make sense :)

These are the actual DSM IV questions that you are SUPPOSED to be asked for diagnosis.
I can answer YES to all of these, some affect me much worse than others, some are still persistant even with medication, but most are improved greatly with it.
Over the last ten years I have learnt a few strategies to help with some of these, or, I have learnt 'How to be'.
Granted most of us could answer 'Yes' to some of these some of the time.
For me it was yes to almost all of these nearly every day, with a rare few hours of what I can only describe as 'clarity' - if I was lucky I would get a full day.

1. Do you often make careless mistakes when you have to work on a boring and difficult project?

2. Do you often have difficulty keeping your attention when you are doing boring or repetitive work?

3. Do you often have difficulty concentrating on what people say to you, even when they are speaking to you directly?

4. Do you often have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?

5. Do you often have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?

6. When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, do you often avoid or delay getting started?

7. Do you often misplace or have difficulty finding things at home or at work?

8. Are you often distracted by activity or noise around you?

9. Do you often have problems remembering appointments or obligations?

Another list of 'symptoms' included:

The Inattentive Attention Deficit Disorder person can be sluggish, slow moving and difficult to motivate. These are the daydreamers who spend much time with their heads in the clouds or in a brain fog. They are disorganized.

This type shuts down when too many demands are made on their ability to listen, focus, concentrate and learn. This type has trouble listening and registering the content when others talk to them. When tasks become to difficult, they simply blank out and the harder this type tries to concentrate, the worse the “shut-down” becomes. This type can miss large gaps in learning.

Since this type quietly goes about their business instead of grating on the nerves of everyone around them, the Inattentive type of Attention Deficit Disorder often goes undiagnosed. People with this “quiet” form of Attention Deficit are often labeled as lazy, defiant or uninterested instead of given the help they need to overcome their Attention Deficit problems. The inattentive type of Attention Deficit Disorder is seen most often in girls.

Inattentive characteristics: (Not all need to be present)
_ Primary ADD symptoms (attentional problems, distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity).
_ Low energy level/sluggish.
_ Procrastination.
_ Often late.
_ Easily bored.
_ Short attention span, especially for routine matters, tasks that are not interesting or tasks that are difficult.
_ Often does not complete tasks.
_ Excessive daydreaming or “Spacing Out.”

Yes to all of these.

I also read today that officially ADD/ADHD DID NOT EXIST in the medical world until 1979 - so what hope would I have had of being diagnosed as a child? Buckleys!

I have emailed my GP and told him what happened.
I also explained that I don't feel I will receive an unbiased 'review' at the next appointment, and am reluctant to attend......but we have such a shortage of doctors here (and they are very clicky) so at the moment my options aren't great.

The flow on effect of this could have some very negative effects on all areas of my life.
Sure, when I'm old and not working and I'm expected to be forgetful I can give it away (except maybe for bingo days...ha ha!) but for now it helps me live a fairly normal life, hold down a job, keep a household together.....mostly......

G
xxx

Don't you just love it....NOT....VERY ANGRY!!!.....

Don't you just LOVE IT................

.....when you had been diagnosed with something 10 years ago,
and have been successfully taking medication for 10 years without any problem.

You also have a son with the same 'condition'......

You go for another humiliating medication 'review'

Review being you get whoever the public hospital assigns to you regardless of their experience or recent update in training

This doctor then tells you you don't need the medication, and that your son (who he has never laid eyes on) 'has grown out of it'

The same doctor asks you stupid on the spot questions like 'How would you describe yourself' and 'What makes you think you have ADD'

Like it was a parole hearing or something

I am not good with on the spot questions like that

I am also not good with idiots that don't even know the 3 sub categories of ADD - Inattentive (which is me), Hyperactive/Impulsive, and Combined (which is a bit of each).
He even reckons that stimulant medication wouldn't be prescribed for me!!!!
OMG could he be any less informed????

I asked him if perhaps he didn't like my original doctor that did the diagnosis - or just didn't agree with a single diagnosis he has made, simply because he was forced into early retirement due to 'legal issues' and some personal scandal (long story)

So, once again I am reduced to tears, in front of a medical student as well

He also had the cheek to say that I would have been diagnosed as a child if I really had ADD - UMM HELLO???? There was no such thing when I was a child.
Every article I have read on adult ADD clearly states that often a parent is diagnosed after one of their children has been diagnosed, and that the Inattentive type is very often overlooked. Wanker.

In the end I said I should never have been put on medication, it has given me a taste of normal life, normal functionality - if they were going to play god every time and threaten to take it away from me

So basically he refused to sign the paperwork as me having adult ADD (I think he had decided before I even went in that this would be his decision).
I now have to be subjected to a 'second opinion' - at the same place - tell me that's going to be a fair assesment!!!

My GP won't be too happy.

I am going to try and get hold of a private doctor that has at least a few patients with adult ADD already - no point going to someone else that hasn't brushed up on their training since 1975 - and who doen't believe adult ADD exists.

I am really concerned.

I also threw in 'That's fine, I'll be out of a job in 12 months though'
He couldn't have given a shit.

So anyway, I am back from my huge trek today, boys dropped off safely.
Just had to get this off my chest.

Time to do some work.

G
xx

Not a real lot

To say :)

Just Hi to everyone.

I have a massive week ahead of me, so may not be around much until after Friday....

Boys coming and going, with me taking them and collecting them.

Camp this week,
friends staying...
me driving them to camp Tuesday.....in Ulverstone...
medication review Monday (bloody crap...whatever),
a huge order coming Wednesday (triple the usual),
back from camp Thursday,
friends staying til Friday,
washing,
packing.......
groceries to buy for camp.......

hopefully trying to co-ordinate a hair cut for Possum during all of this/and his work.......he still likes me to go with him for hair cuts.
I think he wants to get all of the gorgeous and now very long curls cut off again.......NNNOOOOO!
It's such beautiful hair (not cos I'm biased, it just is).
The hairdressers walk behind him and stop for a look at the curls.....
He gets many comments like 'Cool hair bro'....
He wants to look a bit more 'straight cut' for work experience etc.....it's always clean and tidy it's just long.
I'll try and get a photo of it before he gets it cut....*sigh*

Oh well better go and get beds ready, decide what to feed the troops for tea, make sure Possum is organised for work this afternoon.....and so on.

No CT results yet....I won't have a free day to get results until Friday.
My nose has started to fix itself up....if I had to guess I would say it was just a very bad infection/virus thing that has taken a very long time to come right......I'm still not 100% but I am quite a bit better than last week....


G
xx

Another one of 'those' days

I felt a bit better yesterday, so over did it......a lot.....

Last night was very, very exciting - I finally got to bed at 12.30am.....

And woke up far earlier than I had to be......

Which caught up later in the day...........

So I missed the darn bank......

And it's Show Day here tomorrow so the banks are shut.....

*OOPS!!!*

Luckily my account isn't much this week and I covered it with my credit card......

CT all done this afternoon

Probably another inconclusive waste of time but anyway.......

We'll see.

I guess I should have made an appointment to get the results......better do that I suppose.

I just need to feel better than this!

So much coming up over the next few weeks.......

Camp for Small Man next week

His buddy from Hobart is coming up Sunday to stay

Until Tuesday when they will leave for camp together.

He has another sleep over at another mates Saturday night

We are going to a friends place for tea

And the boys have grown out of accompanying us

Possum is working, so SM is off to spend the night with his friend (who is also going to camp)

Most excellent for him :)

And I think Big A is taking him to the show on Friday

They will enjoy it :)

Busy Thursday as usual tomorrow doing my deliveries ~ and I have to be 'on' as usual ~ it is important to be enthusiastic,

even if on the inside you feel drained and under the weather.

It can be tiring.

But I love it just the same :)


Hope you all have a great night/day,

G
xx

Glowing in the dark....

Haven't been around here that much over the last week,
thanks everyone that commented on my last post :)

Lou - yes, I have seen John Edward on t.v. here - I think he is touring in Aus soon.
They do work in a similar way :)

I finally bit the bullet and went to see my GP Thursday - I'm just not picking up and my nose is still an issue, along with the fatigue and so on........and on it goes.....

He is sending me for a CT scan of my sinuses/brain (ha ha good luck finding anything there!).
Mostly because my nose still bleeds every time I blow it - and I have been getting pins and needles in my head - all left sided....not to mention the headaches and looking as white as a sheet.
He thinks it may be some sort of blockage/polyp or something.

Basically I feel like crap and am really struggling to get through the day.
Two morning last week I got Possum up and off to school, then fell asleep on the couch for an hour.....

Going Wednesday for the CT - I may end up glowing in the dark from all of the CT's/MRI's/Xrays I have had over the last few years.............ha ha!
Thank heavens for medicare safety nets..................

Extremely quiet weekend for me - Small Man stayed at his mates house Saturday night then again last night (they don't have set classes with Distance Ed on Mondays).
Possum worked Saturday night until late, then all day Sunday.
Big A had night shift all weekend.

It finally got the better of me Saturday night and I vacuumed, mopped, cleaned the bathroom, half a dozen loads of washing, ironed a few things.......
I was starting to feel SO far behind on everything around here - mostly because I actually was so far behind......
So at least it's all done....for now.

So I'm not exactly a ball of fun at the moment (am I ever??!!).

I found out last week that I may not be allowed to wait until the end of this year/early next year for these changes to be implemented within my team.
They are threatening to cut my commission as an 'encouragement' to sign over.
Sounds like being forced if you ask me.
I'm not up to it.
I am debating over which way to go.
At the moment a cut in pay sounds more preferable to having to run around getting new agreements signed, and having to take on 5 extra team members at out busiest time of the year.
Sales are starting to BOOM already - and our xmas book has only just been issued.......
I haven't been told for sure, my boss just keeps me in the loop - I think she has sussed out that I'm not good with 'surprises'.
She is worth her weight in gold, I am so blessed to have her :)

Love to you,

yes you!

G
xxx