SAVED!!.......By a blog post !!!???!!!

If I hadn't written my previous post this arvo.......

I would have come home to a flood.

Yes, I was putting off going to the shop.

Thought I'd write first, shop later.

Shoes on, just grabbing my sunnies off the bench.......

When PPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS

Yep, the bloody hot water hose decided, right there and then, to split and spray water out EVERYWHERE in the cupboard.

And of course dumbarse (me) couldn't figure out how to turn it off (Big A wasn't here)

Well I know now

50 million tupperware items dried and a new water hose later

And I'm glad I posted now :)

G
xx

In the ning nang nong.....

Ha ha got that song in my head today - god knows why!
I learnt it at school in Queensland when I was in grade 4, we were there for a year - it was a long year actually away from friends and in an intolerable climate (for me, I couldn't hack it).

Speaking of intolerable climates - my friend has dropped the avo and allowed her husband to move back in!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, I dunno either. Actually, I don't understand it AT ALL.

I mean, how much worse does it have to get????

He hasn't changed one iota - in fact went to visit her and told her the bathroom and toilet needed cleaning...........the words 'Fuck off, I pay the rent now you clown' came to mind when she told me.

Even better, he wanted to come up last weekend for Small Mans birthday! Awkward much???
She understood when I said it may be a bit soon.
She can forgive him if she wants - does that mean I have to?
OK for him to go around hitting her, their son, breaking things and losing the plot - who's the one that has picked up the pieces each and every time, and will no doubt do it again sooner or later.

I really thought she was stronger this time and that this was the worst she would tolerate, clearly I was wrong.
I told her I refuse to be a hypocrite, I have had some pretty brutal and honest opinions about him this time, I'm not just going to sit there and pretend nothing ever happened.

Rant over!

Terrible night last night this wisdom teeth is messing with me big time.
Actually the term 'Merry Hell' comes to mind.......extreme pain last night :(

I have a friend that's a dental nurse, she was going in this morning to get me an appointment with the 'wisdom tooth dentist to see' at her clinic - unfortunately she woke up with a bad cold this morning and couldn't go to work.
No point me ringing, I'd never get an appointment - oh well maybe next year some time.
To be honest, all dental phobias aside - I haven't got time to be recuperating for 2-3 days at the minute.

Madness coming up with a work dinner this Friday night, going to Hobart this Sunday for the night and then to Small Mans school presentation day in Hobart on the Monday.

Then back Monday night for rsvp's to sort out for the work xmas bbq I am organising again this year, and Possum to get ready for an early start at HJ's the next day.

Then my usual work on the Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday - it will be our last week of putting orders in for the year so it's gunna be HUGE - with food preparation in between.
Thank god Mum is helpin me this year!
Next Friday will be a big organising/cooking day ready for the bbq Sunday (remember how I had 80 people last year....yeah!).

Monday 14th - Small Man has his usual private 'school' lesson at Newstead, and will possibly be the last one - I only have between 1.15pm and 2.45pm to fit anything in....
Tuesday 15th - is Big A's birthday.
Wednesday 16th - we have a therapist appointment in the afternoon, then my final delivery for the year.
Thursday 17th - will be my last 'round' of deliveries to my people
Friday 18th - I have another laser appointment in the afternoon which I have already postponed once......

So there just isn't a clear couple of days for me to get it sorted out.
And I would need Big A to be home to drive me - my friend said they'll often give you an injection of valium to pull wisdom teeth out.
I wonder if they'll give me valium AND gas? Could be a peaceful/interesting afternoon ha ha!

G
xx

Birthday Boy...and stuff....

Small Man turned 15 yesterday.

We had a lovely day, the rain stopped at 5pm just in time to cook the bbq (thank you Dad!).

Will write some more later,

G
xx

**Extra added - Tuesday 7.15pm**

Couldn't be stuffed starting a new post......lazy, lazy, lazy.....

Not really, I had a run in with some seafood salad from coles deli.......oh my....run 'out' should I say......also wanted to keep birthday boys pic up a bit longer.

Sunday night it hit - after the b'day guests had gone - thankfully.

After all of the preparation and organisation and a lovely bbq dinner with the family, followed by a big-assed chocolate mud cake - topped with profiteroles (you know, those cream puff thingys).........very nice :)

And I had time to snap this:

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! I took this one to wind up the kids......knowing they would eventually find it on here, and they did today :)



I have decided I have a split personality - the way I speak vs the way I write - so am thinking of trying to meet in the middle a bit more.
I have always had a 'thing' about the written word being spelt/phrased correctly, or as correctly as my english edu-ma-cation will allow.

This is not how I speak though.....
I don't finish my words, and most conversations are peppered with the 'f' word where appropriate - NEVER at work, NEVER in 'company' eg school or doctors stuff.

So maybe that's how I should be blogging?

Some news of sorts, Dr Matt wants to see Small Man in 'the New Year'.
I wrote back and told him that SM was turning 15, wants to get a job and is just bloody sick of his situation, and that's it's getting very, very hard to keep watching him miserable and pissed off.
In other words, get something organised, NOW. For fucks sake it'll be 4 years in March next year.
I'm not going over there again and coming back without a definite plan - no definite plan = me not taking him. The End.

Possum is recovering well from the stress and bullshit of the end of college stuff.
He has applied for 3 traineeships, got a letter today to say he wasn't successful (didn't even interview him - fine then ya pricks...*ahem*).

One he hasn't heard from yet.

One sent a letter to say they'd be in touch soon.
They'd made a mistake in the letter (derr) and put that he'd applied for a business traineeship - I emailed them as if he'd written it (I'm a bloody good secretary eh?!) and let them know (just in case he had been put in the list for the business job).
They wrote back and thanked him for contacting them etc and apologised, they hope to contact him by the end of this week.

That's about it.
Had the boss here most of last week - that's why I have been so quiet.
By Friday I was totally stuffed! Meetings, meetings and more meetings......it was good but tiring.

G
xxx

~ One Day ~

ONE DAY......

I won't be under extreme pressure with work and dreading the change to come

I won't have a sad, unwell son at home....

...and another son also currently at home whose nerves are shot to pieces after the last few weeks....

I won't be waiting to find out if the medication I need is going to be available to me (I can't ring at the moment....I don't need any more negative)......and the situation will never arise again....

I will learn to keep all of these things to myself so as not to burden anyone else

I will be organised and have my house in order

I won't collapse on weekends from the sheer mental strain of each week

I will want to go out and 'do things' on weekends when I don't feel so weighed down by the amount to be done here, because by then my house will be sparkling

I can avoid such things as sinus infections and wisdom teeth growing wrong and occasional heart rhythm episodes therefore being a whole lot more 'FUN'

I will have friends with equally perfect lives that don't need me to worry over them

I might even have tea ready at 6pm rather than enjoying myself on skype (once)

I might make the bed every day, and find time to vacuum daily also

I might go to bed by 10pm every night and be up at 6am (busting to make that bed)

I might turn into a social butterfly and just love a crowd, and love to dribble shit to people I've just met.....

I may even be super skinny at the same time


It all sounds quite realistic, I should have thought of it before.


G
xx

Sketchy...

Hi All,

Thank you again for your messages, friends Mum is home and pretty much ok.

I don't have the full story, and to write only what I have gleaned from text messages is probably unfair.

Friends Mum has been through some awful stuff in the last few years, the back injury she received from a fall a few years ago is getting progressively worse and as far as I know is untreatable.

She fell on a wet, unmarked floor in a supermarket around two years ago.
Her doctors fully expected that it was a muscular type injury that would improve - so she signed an agreement and received a measly $3,000 payout - thinking this would cover some time off work etc - it hasn't improved.

Her son is now her carer - it is possible she could deteriorate to the point of being unable to walk at all. She is in constant sometimes agonising pain.

Earlier this year they moved into a renovated space under a house.
After a month or two and paying $250 a week for this place which was freezing and had obvious problems, they discovered that the unit/flat hadn't been inspected or passed as safe for tenants.

They have been living in emergency accomodation ever since, and have spent most of the last 8 months in hotels.
Their belonging are in storage and they are currently living in an emergency housing unit.

This is just some of it.

Lets just say that Mum lost the plot a bit over the weekend and went AWOL.
I'm pretty sure she is feeling terrible, absolutely terrible.
She loves her son - I know that much - and would never intentionally hurt him like this - things can just get a bit much for all of us.

Makes you thankful for what you have eh?
And a lot more thankful for what you don't have.......

G
xx

Found

She has been found and is ok.

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes,

Will write some more later....gotta go!!

G
xx

Still No News

Still nothing........

What a worry.......


G
xx

Where Is She????

Small Man's friend from Hobart, the one who comes to stay, who is a full time carer for his Mum, whose Mum took 'too much' of her medication recently and was in hospital for a week.......

She has been missing for over 24 hours.

Where is she??

She went to the supermarket yesterday morning, and hasn't returned.

He called the police last night and they have been around this morning.......

They took photos etc.

Mum is in her late 50's, needs pain medication for a back injury, doesn't have 'boyfriends', didn't take her phone.....


G
xx

Cracks

I feel like I've had the rug pulled out from under me....

As if all of the shit of the last few years has just fallen on me all at once, Small Man, my job, dumbarse doctors x 100, Possum......

I am trying to pull myself up and out if it but it's not working....

I'm trying to look at each issue individually and work on each thing separately.

But it's not working.

To make things worse Big A has decided to start applying for a new job, has had one interview and another one next week.

It's just not what I need at the moment.

His work pays for half of our health insurance.

If he goes to a lower paying job there's no way we'll be able to afford it.

With Small Man and his situation so up in the air I have no idea when something is going to be done.
It could be in two months - it could be in 6 months or more.

I won't exactly be loving my job when these changes come in but I have to stay put until everything is sorted out.......

I hope I feel better tomorrow, I don't like this, I have managed to keep going and not dwell or get too down for so long.................but it is late, I'm fat, the house is a mess, Small Man hasn't been well at all for the last few days, this stupid bloody sinus thing has come back........and....and......

G
xxx

Just a little more before I'm done

I held on until I was in total darkness in bed last night,
I cried and cried, silent tears so as not to alert anyone.

This should never have happened.

It was supposed to be 'his' night - two years of struggling through the maze that is that college (not the layout, the lack of clarity).

We can't even keep the programme for a memento of the evening, because his name isn't even printed in it.

The last few weeks have been just as bad.

He has turned up for lessons only to find they aren't on.....

He even turned up for a 'student free' day a month or so ago - because he hadn't been told it was student free.

So basically today he goes to music this afternoon, last lesson of the day and that's it.

Doesn't get a chance to say goodbye to his teachers.......it all seems very strange.

He was thinking he was able to finish something for English Writing this week, but the class wasn't on, the teacher wasn't there - so he's worried he'll fail the subject now :(
He admitted this to me last night.

I'm not as concerned about this as I am his VET IT course, which is the main thing.
It would be a shame though as last year he scored an OA (outstanding achievement for English Writing).

I did have a long conversation with his English teacher a few months ago when Poss was really, really run down with the vitamin D deficiency, and asked him to RING ME if Poss got behind in his work.........I also let the ADD subject into the conversation, as we haven't ever made a point of doing so unless necessary - he has NEVER EVER used it as an excuse.
His teacher told me he suspected something.
So why couldn't he have called me and discussed Possums work????

His PC teacher (this is supposed to mean 'Pastoral CARE) teacher told me a few weeks ago that Possum is 'up to date' on his work.
I asked him specifically about the graduation evening, and a few other things, and he only replied to my query about employment coming up with the education dept.
Admittedly he did call the front office with Possum to ask what Possum should wear to graduation, but the answer was just 'no trackpants' - leaves it all a bit open.
So I emailed them myself on Wednesday.

Wednesday evening an Assistant Principal called me to answer my question, she didn't mention RSVP's.
She was helpful though, in that Possum was (maybe) supposed to do a general numeracy test since he didn't take maths as a separate subject in college (he had done pre-tertiary in high school) - so he then only needed to do a general online test to give him a score on his TCE.

Well, this has been harder to organise than it should have been - once again very unclear.

He went for the test Tuesday, just as he arrived an announcement over the PA - all students to assembly.
He didn't know what to do..
So the poor kid sat in the empty maths classroom.
Wednesday was no better, and he didn't know who to ask or what to do.
He is painfully shy and introverted in situations like this where he doesn't feel confident.
So thankfully I found out from the assistant principal who to see and what to do.....he did the test yesterday and said it was quite easy.........phew.........after all that.

These are just a few of the things.

Remember last year and all of the 'hacking' accusations and dealings I had with the IT dept??......bloody hell........

Thank god it's over.....nearly.

I hope they don't ring today re: last night.
One of the ladies (teacher? assistant principal?) on the desk was quite concerned, knowing what had happened.
When she saw us walk out she came outside and tried to help.
I was so close to tears at that stage I was afraid to speak too much - thank goodness I had my sunnies.
The same would happen today.
So much emotion has built up for him over the years, they have no idea what a struggle college has been for him.

But I do.

In the mean time he is taking a few weeks annual leave from work.
When he returns his boss has organised for him to fill in as 'Special Kitchen Hand' for the usual guy while he is on annual leave.
This will be something different for him, basically it's every other job besides cooking, and is all day work - a good change for him.
Funny how he seems to keep up with everything at HJ's - and he's not afraid to ask his bosses questions - perhaps they have a better idea of how to communicate with teenagers??

G
xx

It was (almost) the worst of times....

Possum looked gorgeous in his pale green open neck shirt, grey pinstriped pants, black belt and shoes.

We arrived quite early, but car spaces were rapidly filling up.

We lined up at the enormous doors behind many other families to wait for our registration.

When it came to our turn Possum wasn't on the list.

So we had to go to another table and get a sticker with his name printed on it.

And they wrote his name onto a piece of paper.

They told us we would need to ask an usher to seat us as no seats had been allocated.

We decided to wait outside for Big A.

We flicked through the program and discovered that Possums name was not listed with the grade 12 graduates.

He started getting upset.

He felt like he shouldn't be there.

I went back in and asked the nice lady at the table a few things and she assured me he would be right, and to send him in and she'd talk to him - he didn't want to.

Big A arrived and we tried to sit down, and I'm trying to tell him what was happening.

The usher took Possum to a seat a few rows ahead of us.

5 minutes later he moved him again, to someone elses seat!!!!!

I didn't know this yet (about it being someone elses seat) but I could feel him getting upset even though I couldn't see him.

I sent him a text msg to ask, are you o.k.?

He wrote back 'No - I am sitting in another persons seat, god I hope they don't turn up'

So I wrote back, would you like to stay, or leave?

He said 'I'd like to go'

So we left.

As we were walking out the nice lady saw us leaving and came out to ask if everything was ok.

We told her what happened and how he now was sitting in someones seat, and we thought it best if we leave as he was getting upset.

I'm close to tears at this stage.

Apparently there was an rsvp he was supposed to return - ummm yeah? Really?
O.K. would have helped if either he or I had known this.....nothing about it in the newsletter or on the website.

I thought quickly and suggested we take him for a drink at the casino.

If we had gone straight home it would have been a disaster, I had to stop myself from crying.

So we went to the casino, toasted our son on his achievements.....

Then the little bugger won $125 on the pokies.

So at least he came home with a smile on his face.

Who knows how the graduation evening went.................................... :(


G
xxx

Extreme Empty Nest-iness

Oh dear.....it's creeping in again.

College Graduation evening tomorrow night and I'm awash with emotion.....joy, pride, fear, love, nervousness, relief...did I mention fear?

With two sons we have all of the 'firsts' with Possum, and then all of the 'my baby' with Small Man.....

I am so proud of my Possum for all that he has accomplished, against a few more odds than most.
At the age of 3 he could count backwards from 100.
At the age of 4 he taught himself to read - so as to work the computer.
A loud and sometimes outspoken child, we would never lose him in a crowd!
He's not like that any more!!!

Everyone could always rely on Possum to say what everyone else was thinking.
Now we have to drag things out of him!!
From this he developed such a supportive group of friends, several of them attended his 18th birthday.

Never one to be that 'into' art - one of his primary school teachers described a drawing he did as having a ' Savant like' perspective.

He learnt to play the violin a little during primary school, then later found a passion for the guitar.

In grade 5 his NAPLAN test result placed him in the top 5% in Tasmania.

He won several awards in the same year - first place was awarded for a statewide Science talent search and English competition - he had written a poem that won :)

At the age of 8 he was diagnosed with severe ADHD.
The medication roundabout was difficult and distressing for a time until we got it 'right'.

By the time he reached puberty and High School he was a lot more settled, and his eye colour turned from blue to green at the same time.......an unusual occurrence at that age :)

He took an interest in hockey in High School - after trying tennis during earlier years, swimming, milo cricket etc etc. Where he may not have had natural talent he persevered, and persevered.
He was part of the team that made it to the grand final for hockey in grade 10 - the result was a draw!

He was able to achieve all level 5 'A's' in pre-tertiary Maths in grade 10 - so wasn't required to take maths classes in college (unless he wanted to).

By the time he was 13 he was keen to work, so I set him to work for my company delivering catalogues.
He kept going with this for approximately 18 months.
He then started at Hungry Jacks in September 2007.
He has worked weeknights and weekends without much more than a weeks break once or twice for the last two years, an average of 20 hours per week on top of high school/college/work experience.....

To say I am proud of him would be an understatement.

Regardless of what his actual 'grades' are at the end of this year - in my mind he is a success.

He had more reason that most to give up or not 'be bothered', and there have been times when keeping him organised have taken their toll, and it has been very stressful, but I would do it all over again.

Just another step towards empty nest-iness for me,

*sigh*

G
xxx

Really????

Dilemmas dilemmas!

If there was such thing as 'the perfect job' for me......well it presented itself yesterday.

Scouring the online job pages (as I do) for Possum I came across an absolute gem.

The City Mission here is advertising for someone to start up an eBay store, pick the best clothes to sell, and sell them, lead a team etc

Squeeee!

That would be like, my dream!!!

I've had about 8 years experience buying/selling on eBay.......not so much of the selling lately though ;)

The job is 15 hours per week initially.

Big A reckons it's 'volunteer' - but they made no mention of this in the ad.

OK - the downsides:

I would need to give 6 weeeks notice to HC as per my contract, and because I wouldn't dump them and leave everyone in the lurch

It's our busiest time of year - trying to do both would be very difficult, if not close to impossible depending on the hours/days of the week the mission were wanting

There is a good chance of us having to go to Melbourne again soon, date unknown.
I couldn't start a new job and then ask for time off

Small Man needs (must, it's part of the rules) supervision with distance ed.......

Bugger!

If the timing had been different, if I was more sure of what was happening with Small Man......

At least, at the moment, I know where I am, what I'm doing and it can be pretty flexible.

Would have been nice to give something different a whirl though,


G
xxx

For Myself

This is going to be a strange post for me.

I actually did something FOR MYSELF on Friday.

Now this is the girl that cuts/colours her own hair, and does own hair extensions, does her own waxing etc etc
Quite happy to buy op shop clothing most of the time and doesn't want for much at all.

I managed to inherit freckles/broken capillaries and uneven skin tone from my bio parents.

It has always bothered me!

I get sick of slathering/trowelling on an inch of foundation just to leave the house.

Sure, I could accept it as 'how I am' and not worry but I do have a certain amount of pride (not vanity, pride!).

So 3 weeks ago I went for a consulatation to a specialist clinic here.

I realised just how self conscious I have become about my skin when I felt somewhat mortified to have to remove my makeup and have a photo taken......EEEEEKK!
The photo is for both before and after purposes, and they have a special program that shows the nurse where the redness is, even if it's still under the skin.

The quote for IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) for the areas I needed was $220.
I was expecting it to be much higher.
If the capillaries had been worse I could have claimed it all through medicare.

So Friday was the big day.

I wasn't sure what to expect - oh my - very painful.

It felt like a cross between an electric shock and a white hot poker for around 3 seconds.

The whole procedure took less than 15 minutes (thank goodness!).

I had the usual after effect of looking sunburnt - but the difference was immediate - oh wow!!!
Big A even said it looked like I had foundation on the next morning :)

I was warned that I shouldn't have any social engagements for the next 3 or 4 days following treatment.

I can see why!!!!

Friday night I had raised areas both vertical and horizontal 'stripes' on my cheeks.

Saturday I woke up and the areas under my eyes were so puffy I looked like I had been punched or had extreme conjunctivitis or something - very amusing to everyone here - ha ha!

This morning it's slightly better, my left eye is still swollen but not too bad.

The bonus to all of this is not just fixing up the capillaries but there is an improvement to the texture and tone of my skin that I am really pleased with.

So the pain and swelling are worth the result.

The other bonus - the end price was $180.

I go back in 6 weeks to have it all checked, there may be a few veins that need a re-shoot.

I would recommend this to anyone with similar problems with their skin, if it is affecting your confidence.
The IPL is used for permanent hair removal also.

I would have taken a photo for you...but my webcam isn't working....oh well...not to worry...tee hee!


G
xxx