Oh the irony......!!

The Ten of Pentacles card suggests that my power today lies in community.
I am a success and I value my reputation.
I pass on and share my status, values, knowledge, and ethics by example.
My work here is done and I am ready to take it to the next level.
I am empowered by reputation and my asset is social validation or standing.


Just had to share that one with you!!

G
xx

Am I biting off more than I can chew...

...time will tell.

It's amazing how things can change - just like that....
After the awesome news last week I thought that would be the biggest and best change for a while....but no!
I have been 'given' an area with 3 current distributors to look after personally.......and guess who lives there?......Toni!!!
So add to this the 4 people I was already taking over when AW leaves - and I will have the biggest team in my district.
What does this mean?
I will be waiting around for the courier who may or may not turn up Tuesdays, packing an order of several thousand dollars worth of goods, delivering the order to distributors in Deloraine, Westbury and Carrick, meeting with the Launny people once per week, putting orders on the computer, accounts and banking, constant phone calls........
Firstly these people need new agreements signed so that they can 'come on over' to the darkside my team!!
I have spoken with two already - one sounded fine and flexible, the other didn't sound too thrilled - one thing I have learnt over the years is that many distributors resist change - that's o.k. I'll bribe/hypnotise/make her be happy about it talk her around!

It's the timing that's the worlds biggest pain in the arse slight issue. I will be in Melbourne from the 15th - 18th July - placing their first order on the 14th - receiving it on the 22nd chucking it frantically into boxes getting it packed nicely - then hosting/catering for Christmas In July/Farewell for AW and another 10 people on the 23rd....sure....shouldn't be a problem......*cough*

Compared with the thought of having to work with the Almighty for any given period of time, this will be a piece of cake...or xmas pudding!!

Meanwhile Distance Ed is starting THIS WEEK.......I am meeting with Small Mans new teacher on Friday afternoon...

So I may be a little scarce until I realise I can't cope and give all of distributors to my current managers get this sorted and in a routine...all of it.....*sigh*

I may even surprise myself....
I'm sure Big A will be 'surprised' when he gets toasted sandwiches for tea every night - ha ha!!! Just kidding Big A!!!

G
xx

Kick Me One Last Time

Things could have ended amicably ~ no need to get the knives out - but no...

It was suggested (by one of my peeps) to the Almighty that I would be great take over the reigns here in Tassie...
to which she responded sharply "Not Likely - it's a BIG job - 'G' wouldn't fit the criteria"....
My peep replied "I think 'G' does an excellent job - she was terrific with me when I started" - this is the person I broke my neck to start and was scammed out of......long story...I have been pretty much looking after her for zero commission - good job I'm not in it for the money either eh!!!

Well, if the criteria requires that I would have to be a condescending mole and treat people like the crap under my feet, not replying to emails for weeks, backstabbing and ripping people off - then no I don't suppose I would 'fit' the 'criteria'.
I can imagine the picture of me that she has painted with upper management.
That would be why I didn't 'get the call' to ask me to apply!!
Call me old fashioned but dumping my kids for a week and trotting up to Sydney to be all officious and up myself just doesn't have the appeal I'd be looking for - ha ha ha!!!

Her new and extremely important role starts June 30th - she will be 'caretaking' us until a replacement is found.....hope they bloody hurry up!!!!!!!

If you're wondering what I'm on about - read my previous post!!!

G
xx

*******I GOT MY WISH !!!********

I am very, very, very excited to share my news with you....


THE ALMIGHTY IS LEAVING!!!!!

After all this time.
After all she has put me through.
She is going to Sydney.

I cannot begin to explain how I feel.
I was so stoked this afternoon when I got the call (from someone from another team mind you) - so stoked my hair was all static!!!

My Mary was spot on.
She told me she'd be going within 12 months, this was around September last year.


Thank you thank you everyone for all of the positive vibes you have sent me during this - it has worked!!!
I feel it's a victory,
that I have indeed 'won',
she's finally realised I'm not going ANYWHERE!

This is the happiest I have felt about my job for 3 years!!

I have wished and wished and wished for this for such a long time.....

Now I have to try and act neutral when she's here on Friday.......



G
xxx

Car Yards & Being Irresponsible!

Well...

I have re-read my last post and think it probably comes off as me being irresponsible - and that I'd rather get on here and whinge than do something about it...

Over the years I have had endless doctors appointments and basically been given the 'bums rush' - "We don't know" "You have irritable bowel" "You have a severe anxiety disorder" "You have migraine" "You have an arrythmia" "You have Lupus - come back and see us when your major organs start shutting down" - and so on.....some of these trips have cost us a fortune.
I have to summon all of my strength mentally just to go to my GP - who is fine by the way and realises there is something a bit out - but we're not sure what - he doesn't treat me like I'm a looney, or put me down, but I still hate going with a passion.
So I usually wait until something doesn't go away - say like my broken rib - before I go back.
Since I've been for blood tests and they came back fine I think I'll give it a bit longer - give the pill a few weeks longer to work and then see. If I had pain like I did the other day and it was constant - sure - I'd be back.

It seems we have our very own car yard here!!!
Big A has bought himself a new car - so now we have 4.
We don't need 4 cars!!!
His little Honda will be in the paper this weekend.
It's a little old hatchback that we got more than our moneys worth from,
we paid $1700 for it about 2 years ago - and he has driven it to and from work at least three days a week (120km round trip).
We made Z17 an offer - he can have it - but it may need the accelerator pump fixed soon, and rego in 5 months - or if he helps me get it spruced up to seel he can have half of the amount it sells for.
We have put new tyres on it recently - and it has a new motor (this was a barter deal from a mechanic friend who wanted lots of electrical work done at his place).
Add to this the fact that it runs on the smell of an oily rag I'm hoping it will sell quickly!

The other part to this is that it's a manual - and Z17 is having trouble getting the gist of a manual - much like his Ma - who has an automatic licence.......I took the Big A's new car for a little drive the other day - nah - never going to happen!! If I want to go around a corner - I want to just drive around it - not go to too much trouble!! Plus I don't feel as 'in control' of the car with so many things to worry about all at once.
No shame in him getting an auto licence for now - a mate of mind is an air traffic controller - and he can't drive a manual car!!!

Anyway better skedaddle - I have catalogues with hundreds of dollars worth of orders waiting for me to pick them up........I hope!!

G
xx

Quite Fitting...

The Queen of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in advocation.
I have been there, done that and can be trusted to judge, perceive or tell it like it is.
I own my authority and honor my authentic nature and wisdom but use my sharp wit responsibly and accept that not everyone will "warm up to me."
I have a sleek, keen but detached sense for quality, classic style and truth and my reputation for communicating or protecting justice, the greater good or serving as a pioneer is well-deserved.
I am empowered to endure by obligation to my code and my virtue is order.

Interesting!
I have a meeting with the Almighty on Friday! to discuss the concerns I have raised on personally managing a team again.


Z16 is turning 17 tomorrow!

I am actually sitting here, in the house - ALONE!
That doesn't happen too often these days....
The Big A is at work,
Z16 and Small Man have gone to the cinema to see a movie....I'm picking them up shortly.
Z16 doesn't have to work now tomorrow - one of his work mates has taken on the 9 hour shift for him - what a nice guy!
Of course we didn't know this until 5.30pm today - so it's too late to really organise much, the Big A is still working night shift tomorrow night so maybe just a nice family dinner tomorrow night!
After all, next year will be 'the big one'!!

Interestingly - the year I turn 40 - Z16 will turn 21 - and Small Man will turn 18 - party party party!!!

I'm still not feeling 'back to normal' - actually still struggling - and so sick of it I can't begin to tell you.....
I have even been a bit grumpy - snappy in fact - this is not like me at all.
Seriously I can't be stuffed going back to the doc - I'm over it - over being told
"We don't really know....".
I just want to feel 50% good for a few days - a week would be awesome......
I'm pretty sure I have ovarian cysts again. I have had them before, back then they kept telling me I had this and that (if one more person had said irritable bowel to me I would have gone off my trolley!!)...eventually the cysts ruptured and I had to have them removed.
I went to stand up the other day and the pain put me in a heap on the floor.
Yes, I know, I know.........I'll probably go this week.....*SIGH*

Well - best go and pick up my 'babies' - he he!

G
xx

100 things...1 day late!

100 Things About Me - To Celebrate My 1st Blog-a-versary!

In no particular order!

1. I cannot fault my upbringing/childhood
2. I was adopted at 5 weeks of age
3. I weighed 5lb 1oz which was 'too small' back then and had to get to 6lb before I could be adopted
4. I always knew.
5. I used to have nightmares that my mother was looking for me and would come and get me in the middle of the night!
6. I met first spoke to my NM when I was 20.
7. My Mum doesn't know I've had contact with her (she asked me not to tell her what I found out when I applied for my info). My Dad knew, he was happy about it.
8. So I have been living 'two lives' pretty much for 16 years
9. I met my father when I was 25 - he didn't know I existed
10. I wish I'd never met him.
11. My NM and I are so alike in personality and mannerisms it's scary
12. I have two half sisters and a half brother that I have met - they don't know who I am.
13. I have three other half brothers and possibly a half sister that I've never met.
14. My parents seperated when I was 16 after 25 years of marriage
15. I never saw it coming - I had never seen/heard them argue or be angry
16. My father (Dad) died when I was 20.
17. It was unexpected but I had little warnings in my head it was going to happen
18. I had to fight with his 'girlfriend' of little over 12 months about his will for a long, long time - I won.
19. If I hadn't been there to fight her she would have taken everything from my brother
20. Despite having many 'half' siblings, the brother I grew up with is really the only 'brother' I know, aside from my step brother whom I love too - but not the same
21. I left home at age 16. I was too young.
22. I moved house 17 times in 2 years - I now fear moving!
23. I love antique china
24. I met the Big A when I was 18
25. I knew I would marry him the second I met him
26. We decided we wanted a family straight away
27. I was 19 when Z16 was born
28. We didn't get married until 1996 - because I couldn't bear the thought of getting married without my Dad being there
29. We built our first home in 1993
30. We bought our second home in 1999 - we're still here!
31. I am quite unco-ordinated!
32. I rarely feel jealous
33. I have ADD - I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28
34. I love white linen and towels
35. If it weren't for my medication I don't believe I would do so well at my job, or keeping things together in general!
36. I started work at age 14
37. I have worked as a 'glamour' or lingerie model
38. I have a magazine with ME in it...topless.... :-o !!
39. It's hidden away!
40. I have always put need before want, and don't want for much
41. I have a 'wall' up with people for a long time - any have only given my heart completely to a very few people. Doesn't mean I don't love the others!
42. I am very patient
43. I have to work hard at being organised - and I'm getting better!
44. If I had to choose a favourite food I'd have to say crayfish, followed by prawns!
45. I procrastinate in making decisions, because I hate regret more than anything
46. I am agoraphobic which fluctuates, and relates to my confidence - especially in my appearance (weight especially)
47. I weigh 20kgs more now than I did at age 30 - I hate it
48. I can't handle fluorescent lighting for very long
49. I am not vain - but I am very proud
50. I do not want to be cremated
51. I don't fear death but am afraid of anything dead
52. I didn't get my drivers licence until I was 22
53. I drive like an old woman
54. I have never had a speeding ticket
55. I don't like red, orange or yellow flowers
56. I love pink, purple, white and blue flowers!
57. I love gardening
58. I swear too much...I'm working on this!
59. I don't 'finish my words' properly when I speak...I'll work on this next!
60. I don't write as I speak! Do I Toni????
61. I am OCD when it comes to sorting washing - but not much else...except deodorant!
62. I have never been out of Australia - and don't have any immediate plans to
63. I am happy in my own company these days
64. When Z16 was a baby I was very lonely
65. I follow instinct first, logic second, do what I'm told last!
66. I once lived with a friends family in a house with concrete floors and no running hot water
67. People that have next to nothing are the ones that open their hearts and homes!
68. I believe in twin souls
69. I believe in re-incarnation
70. I'm not sure if I believe in one God
71. I have one 'vice' - I smoke - and have no immediate plans to quit....
72. I stopped drinking alcohol around 5 years ago and have rarely had a drink since - no real reason just personal choice
73. I believe you have to have walked a mile in anothers shoes before judging them
74. I rarely watched TV before Big A went on day work - and seem to miss a lot of shows now that he's back on shift work!
75. I like - House, Australias Next Top Model, How clean is your house, Property Ladder, Bargain Hunt, Big Medicine....and a few others!
76. 3/4 of the clothes in my wardrobe don't fit!
77. I have to sleep in at least once per week or I'm a wreck!
78. My taste in music is from one extreme to the other, country, classical, pop....
79. I could have done much better at school - I finished year 10 and left!
80. I hate people stating the obvious!!
81. I grew up in a rough little town
82. Primary school years were great - High School was pretty awful - the two primary schools in the town combined...
83. I was often afraid to go to school lest I "Get my head smacked in"
84. I am very passive!
85. The op-shop is my favourite place to go and wind down
86. 90% of my clothes are 'pre-loved'
87. I do my own hair - trim, colour, extensions....
88. I was once doing my current job, working as a Mary Kay consultant, and selling flat out on eBay
89. I have a keen interest in psychology
90. I was a very good little girl - and a very bad teenager - I still feel a bit bad about some of the things I did! But my kids won't whack much over me!!
91. I don't wear shoes with much of a heel any more - as flat as possible these days!
92. I don't have a problem with plastic surgery if it makes someone feel better about themselves
93. I start lots of things without finishing them....
94. I don't start lots of things because I know I won't/can't finish them
95. I won't argue a point unless I'm 99% sure I'm right
96. I have a navel ring....it was a 30th birthday present
97. I am genuine and honest but would never hurt anyones feelings deliberately
98. I blog for myself, but do like to get some feedback
99. I read as many blogs as I can!
100. I love my husband and children more than life itself

Phew!
Gee - that took ages!

G
xx

Too much drama

I've had crashing websites (work) (stupid website has been playing up for a week) and the total chaos that follows to deal with today....actually it's not over yet...

And a FARKing school that finally admits they've MISPLACED our application for distance education.....and I'll have to fill out the whole lot INCLUDING another medical certificate...........NOT HAPPY JAN!!

So my 100 extremely (*snigger*) interesting things will need to wait til I'm less mad, and have more time....

TSK!

G
xx

...3 Down.... 15 To Go...

*Another random post on several different topics!!!*

Firstly...

I'm 3kgs lighter than I was on Monday.....

Another 15kgs to go....

I have dusted off and enlisted the help of my trusty treadmill...I am attempting at least 15 mins per day on it, I managed 20 minutes per day for the last three days....plus I went out and dropped catalogues Friday so there's another 15 minutes.....compared with not much activity at all in the last few weeks it should help!

*********************************************************

Flights and accomodation for our trip to Melbourne all booked and paid for :-)
Just Mum and Small Man - off on our adventure!
Appointments are Wednesday and Thursday - so I have booked to go over on the Tuesday and come back on the Friday.
The Big A was able to get the two day shifts off that he would have been working on the Wednesday and Thursday - so he'll be here to keep things running smoothly for Z16 with college, work and work placement.
So it's all good!

***********************************************************

Z16 will be 17 on the 22nd - just a week away!!!
He forgot to put down for a rostered day off for his Birthday - and is now working a NINE HOUR SHIFT. :-(
He does get an hours lunch break - so we will go and meet him and have lunch at HJ's....this was agreed to after I asked if I come down and be very NOT embarrassing would it be o.k.?
"Yes - it would actually" was the reply!
The Big A will be on night shift as well....so in some ways it's o.k.

Z16 was nominated for 'The best of the best' in burger making by one of the managers - he didn't get into the 'finals' but received a $20 bonus in his pay - he's clever!

***********************************************************

Tomorrow is my first bloganniversary - or blogiversary - however it's said!
I didn't do '100 things' for my 100th post - so I have decided to bore you to death with it for my blogiversary!!

Ha ha!

G
xx

Whatever...

Not sure how blood tests can come back as 'no action required' when I feel this bad - still.
Or maybe they were looking at the wrong thing.
Or maybe going off the pill was just a stupid, stupid idea.
Whatever - I won't do it again and so on....

Apart from that I've only just started to feel slightly like myself today. It's been maddening. My brain feels like there's an almighty gap somewhere. Even the basics with work have been a struggle. I've had ovarian cysts - no need to go for an ultrasound, I've had these plenty of times and know what they feel like. Plus I can't be stuffed going back to the doctor to be told the obvious. I'll just take my pill and hope it bloody works quick smart.

Good news with dates for Melbourne confirmed, also the Big A can take two days off to organise Z16 (nearly 17). Public transport isn't the best option for him, especially if he has work placement that week. I would be too stressed. So it's all good.
We are going for four days - over on the Tuesday - back on the Friday - appointments at RCH are on Wednesday and Thursday.
Trying to fly over, go to appointments, spend one night, then more appointments followed by flying back in the same day would be a disaster for Small Man.

Some sad news for me with AW announcing his intention to resign at the end of July.
His partner has a job in Burnie - so they're selling the house they live in at the moment and moving.
I reacted much like a girl whose friend was moving away, rather than in a businesslike fashion - but then that's me - they all mean a lot to me - AW especially having been with me for ten years.
We have weathered many a storm, seen many changes and celebrated some great success together over the years. He is definitely my 'rock' and is the most loyal person I've met.
He was the one that met the big big big boss with me recently.

From this of course comes a fair load of stress.
His team are all long term people, 4 out of 5 were introduced to the business by me years ago.
I had my plan to merge his team with another.
I have had instruction though, of course, from the Almighty that this will not happen - and that if I want to retain the area I have to take the team on myself.
Whatever.
It's just a bad, bad, bad business decision.
I won't bore you with the details, but basically the guy I want to give the team to doesn't have enough area/earnings from this to keep those stupid job agencies/centrelink off his back - to double his team would mean he is earning enough to stop them putting his resume in for jobs, making him attend interviews for unsuitable jobs etc.
For gods sake the man lost his wife, he has two kids and a house to organise, and has worked hard all his life and paid his fair share of tax - give him a break and worry about some of these young bludgers that don't even want to work!!! At least he's doing something....
On the flip side the distributors would have to travel extra distance to come back to me, and I'd be packing orders/seeing distributors/banking and doing a whole lot of work which takes me away from what I'm supposed to be doing - and that is managing the team managers - and helping them get the most out of their areas.
That's the general gist of it all. There are lots of other points that I won't bother putting here cos you'd think "What??" - he he!
I sent her an email today and pointed out my concerns and objections - I said it's not that I don't want to do this but it's seriously not the right decision for the team - either long or short term.
We'll see.
Whatever.

O.K. well I'm off to stress and sulk now,

He he!

G
xx

p.s. Thought you might like the shot of me washing the car *snigger**giggle*

The new 'Do

Not the best quality photos - the lighting wasn't bright enough - but when do you see teenage boys in the daylight? *chuckle*

He was in the middle of an animated discussion with his brother over GTA4 or whatever it's called - some of the expressions I captured were hilarious!

He looks very different with his hair short - I'm still getting used to it - I like that we are now able to see what he looks like - but I do miss the curls!

I have no idea why my words are being underlined!!!

I can't find a solution to this!!!!

G
xx

I gotta date!!!

No - not with Keith - he was busy that day.....he he!

No seriously, we have a date to go to Melbourne!!!

The specialist rang me today on my mobile.

He said it has taken some organising - and he has called in a few favours for us...

We are seeing an internationally recognised surgeon - yes indeedy!!
He is coming especially to see Small Man! **special**

We will also meet with a Child Psychologist who specialises in childhood 'more to love' kids like Small Man (I don't like the word 'obesity - not because I'm in denial I just don't like it)- and the specialist I have been dealing with and a Dietitian.

So we're off for the 16th and 17th of July.

I am considering going over on the 15th - have a night with NM - then get a hotel near the hospital for the 16th - and come back on the 17th - if possible, or the 18th.
Will have to see when I book, and also how it will fit with Big A's shift work.

The timing was perfect.

Small Man (according to Z16) was talking to someone on the internet today and saying how doctors stuff you around, and make you wait 6 months, before telling you they don't know.

It's a start!!

G
xx

On My Mind Tonight

In no particular order....

Why hasn't my pay gone in yet?

How long will my blood test results take? I could've asked I spose!

When am I going to feel close to normal?

How long can I get away with 'winging it' as far as work goes? I guess the fact that I haven't had actual 'leave' for 18 months gives me a bit of leeway here...

If the story about Keith Urban having a love child is true - who in their right mind would give up HIS baby for adoption? Was it because she didn't want the child to grow up as 'Keith's daughter' and have a normal life out of the media? I'd forgive him, being so perfect and all *sigh* - clearly he didn't know about this......
*sighs again!!*

What on earth do I give Z16 (nearly 17) for his birthday? Driving lessons - like actual driving instructor ones spring to mind!

Where is Toni???? Hint Hint!

Why is the dammed high school sending me reminder letters for Small Man's cooking fees STILL - when they can't get off their arses and sort out Distance Ed?
Maybe why they can't sort out Distance Ed - too busy sending out reminder letters for a fee which ceases to exist.
Or maybe they want me to pay that first - given the fact that he's NEVER BEEN TO A COOKING CLASS - I'd say think again brainiacs.

Just in case you missed the first pic *sigh*

Where was I?

Oh yes - on my mind....

Actually that's about got it covered tonight,
better go see if my pay's gone in.....

G
xx

Quacked

Saw the doc this afternoon - he thinks the whole mess probably is thyroid and/or ovary related - both due to going off the pill. He also mentioned the pill could have been masking all of this, and it's been there the whole time. Would explain why I could never lose weight, given my diet.

Turns out the 'going off the pill' idea needs a re-think.

Actually I won't get time to give it a re-think - I have to go back on it (the pill).
Just as soon as I get this blood test out of the way tomorrow morning.
Have the new prescription ready to go.
Trying a different one this time.

And I need to rest.

Ha!

Sorted out annoying work guy today - I just kept sending him text messages last night and emails to say.. "I need stats in for you" "Urgently" "Your area coverage will look low and you may lose area"...
I think it finally sank in!!! He actually checked and edited one of his teams stats - good start!

I can't do anything about school as it's school holidays here....except I thought I'd have a crack at the Principals email address - I nutted out the specialists in Melbourne so the principals shouldn't be too hard.
I want to outline my DISAPPOINTMENT with the contact *ahem* or lack thereof.....and enquire as to why this could possibly be taking SO LONG. He assured me that we would be well set up with Distance Ed before the holidays - it's now the holidays. He will check his email in the holidays I'll bet - seems like a bit of a control freak/one of those that likes to repeat phrases he reads and thinks sound catchy in 'Principlals Weekly' or whatever they read......


Thank you so much everyone for your kind comments on my last few posts.....
gawd what a pain in the ass I can be when I crash.

Glad it doesn't happen too often....much....

So anyway - not quite there - still feeling the same - but at least I'll be able to sort it out - come what may from the results....

G
xx

Bored, Sad, Weird, Mad

...and the internet is as slow as buggery...

Feeling very strange tonight.

Bored. I'm NEVER bored - well rarely. But tonight...well....
That's the bonus of my ADD mind - usually it's always on the go!
And I don't seem to 'dwell' on things too much - it doesn't usually stay put in my head long enough!

Sad. Because Small Man had a bad night last night. He was so down he even cried. He doesn't cry often.
I managed to cheer him up in the end but it puts a weight on my heart that takes a bit to move.
I am so pissed off with the school I haven't been able to even write about it lest my blood boil over.
They were supposed to have submitted the forms for distance education 6 weeks or so ago.
I have rung and rung, either the social worker isn't there or she'll 'ring me back' and it never happens.
What the hell do I have to do to get something done with these people.
Not only that I haven't heard from the teacher or grade leader, or principal to see how he's going.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Big A and I had a discussion on handling him at the moment. I had to be fairly harsh with him to get through, and I don't do harsh. I hope it worked.

Weird. Because I am sitting here writing this - god knows why.
I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to stay up.
I'm flicking through reading blogs and wondering why I even have one.
Physically I feel like ten tonn Tessie, my gut looks like an impressive beer gut, my little finger on my left hand is numb, my shoulder is aching to buggery, my eyes, ears and throat hurt, and I've had vertigo all day. Apart from that though....I'm just dandy - he he.

Mad. Because one of my team is severely testing my patience. Banking late 12 times already THIS YEAR. Inability to check/correct/update/query his teams stats, meaning I'm in a panic if something doesn't look right, and I usually don't know it until this time on a Monday night (too late to ring) - by 7am Tuesday it can't be changed. On the up side he has recruited a good sized team - on the flip side they only do the amount of work for a week, in a fortnight.
So basically they are running at 50% performance.
How many times do you have to repeat yourself? It seems to be the theme in my life - repeating myself, fixing other peoples fuck ups.
He claims that reporting stats are 'not as important' as the powers that be claim they are -
I DON"T GIVE A SHIT - IT"S PART OF OUR JOB SO JUST DO IT!!!
It's not hard!!!
Can you imagine a massive company doing their quarterly report: Profit - ohhh err uummm about $xxxxxx we think, maybe! give or take a few million.....
The rest of the team have been very quiet. Which is good. I would be of no use to them at the moment.

I'm mad with myself for feeling so negative and down.
Things are looking up for us now that Big A has qualified and received his 'golden' ticket in the mail the other week (it's actually silver but hey!). Being back on shift work is a relief in many ways - and he seems to be liking the time off again.

Z16 who is nearly 17 is on holidays which is great for Small Man, they get on well together and keep each other company.
Z16 has had a rather drastic haircut.
And I mean drastic!
Clippers around the ears drastic!!!
I miss the long curls already!! A few of the girls at school were a tad distressed and asked that he NEVER get his hair cut again! He looks a little less 'dangerous' now (which is funny cos he's such a lamb) but he's easier to get ready for work/college. I did post some pics of him from cracker night, but he has a beanie on so you can't tell. He hasn't had short hair since he was 13 - so it takes a bit to get used to - especially picking him out in a crowded carpark after college - before I'd look out for (what we affectionately call) the 'Mop'.
Ah he can always grow it back if he wants.

Anyway enough ranting from me,
two posts in one day - tsk tsk - you'd think I could say what I wanted the first time wouldn't you!?

G
xx

Enough Already!!!

This is getting ridiculous.

Roll on tomorrow.

Hopefully the doc will have an answer for me.

I tried to update my previous post - and ended up deleting half of it....not to worry was only self pitying dribble anyway!

I feel like I'm not in charge of my brain at all.
It's like trying to think through a bucket of setting concrete - with only a few brief moments of clarity thrown in.

Weight gain was up to 7kgs last night - how nice for me.

I can't be stuffed doing anything.
But still managed to vacum,
spring clean Z16's room,
cook scones,
wash the car,
do some loads of washing,
go to supermarket & chemist,
pick up Z16 from work,
a few turns of scrabble.....yesterday.


Today just a bit of bed making,
email checking,
website checking for work,
read a few blogs,
answer a few emails,
make toast for people,
make shopping lists for other people,
have a serious discussion with the Big A on 'things',
more washing,
make spaghetti sauce for tea (I've made it already just in case the cheese really slides off the cracker and it's not ready in time),
fill out doubledays too tempting offer of 5 books + 1 free all under $10 each - (except the free one, cos that'll be free - shit I'm funny) and free postage for life just for re-joining - why not! And only 4 full price books needed to buy in 12 months...
Organise some papers, put them where they actually go - which is not on the bench (who knew!).
All of this has been in robot style auto pilot - it's like I'm here but I'm not - weird.
It's the whole 'couldn't give a rats fat clacker' attitude that is the worst - it's not like me - not as far as work goes anyway.
I've done over and above for them the last few months/(years) so they can just get over it.
As far as my team goes, if they don't know it by now then they haven't been listening - and need to start thinking for themselves a bit more - if left up to my brain this week anything could happen - ha ha!

So anyway,

I must go and stare out the window for a while......
or something!

G
xx