Kind Of Caught It

I have been having these tachycardia 'events' for years

Have never been able to catch it with a monitor or ECG etc

I had an event the other night and thought to whip out my handy little blood pressure monitor and try and catch it

I think it gives an average of the heart rate ~ it was well over 180 bpm a few times.

I think I did well to get the machine on, and photograph it in the middle of one of my 'heart attacks' as I call them.

I guess I am used to them by now.

Only once have I struggled to stop it ~ I can slow my heart rate back down eventually but it takes a lot of breath holding and flipping over 'valsalva maneuver' or something it's called 

Catching Up

Just to briefly catch up from where I left off....some time last year I think?

I have an 18 and nearly 22 year old son - how the hell did that happen??

Possum is still working where there are golden arches - and they are steadily repairing the damage done by too much stress and pressure, in fact he is doing Cert 3 in Retail and Crew Trainer ~ and has been approached to consider management training.
He is happy!
He is not applying for ANY IT positions in the foreseeable future.
And he is happy.

Small Man has now lost 40kg.
He is keeping steady with the weight loss now.
I saw a tv show recently showing a body lift surgery - NFW am I going to allow him to go through that!
Or hopefully any plastic surgery.

There is a course he'd like to do.
But we have discovered the organisation is now a non RTO :(
To think he almost paid them $1000 to complete the course.
He can't work at this stage, but he wanted to complete something.
We will need to look into an alternative REGISTERED training organisation.

We have had two disasterous appointments this year.
One on an emotional level, one on a physical level.
Long story short we went to Melbourne to try and get some help and advice from a so called expert in CFS/ME.
The result?
He was told 'some people never recover from this' and to 'do a TAFE course'.
I was made to feel like one of those mothers that makes their kids sick for attention or whatever they do.
OMG it was awful.
The only good thing that came from the appointment was the prescription of Melatonin.
It has helped Big A HEAPS between shifts (he works day then night shift, 12 hour shifts).

Oh, that's right the Melatonin was for Small Man....
Yes Small Man does take it but it's very hard to break his sleep pattern and keep it consistent.
In fact it's nearly impossible.
I felt criticised for this too.
Talk about making me feel like shit, and that I'm not doing enough for him :'(
We have found ordering it from the USA our best option, you can buy it on eBay for a fraction of the price of a private script ($40 for a month private script).

The second appointment that was a disaster was with the surgeon that is now adjusting Small Man's gastric band.
He added some more fluid to the band, called a 'fill'.
Small Man always drinks some water after the adjustment to make sure it will go through the band, if it doesn't then the band is too tight.
This time the fluid went through, all was well.

We came home, he ate some pasta for tea and everything was fine.
The next day when he woke up he vomited immediately - shouldn't happen as he hadn't eaten or drunk anything yet.
He then found that water wouldn't go down.
I was at work, on the other side of town.

It was nearly 'knock off' time for doctors surgeries and the like.
We couldn't get hold of anyone (the surgeon is only in his rooms Wednesdays).
I ended up ringing our original surgeon in Melbourne to ask advice.
Which then led to 5 hours at the emergency department waiting for someone that could remove some of the fluid from his band....by the time we saw someone he had been over 24 hours without fluid. 

Not good for a well person let alone an unwell person.

Anyone that thinks gastric band surgery is in some way an 'easy' way out seriously needs a slap up the side of the head!

I have also found an amazing alternative therapist for Small Man, so he has either Bowen therapy, a massage or reflexology for 30 minutes per fortnight. Whether it helps or not who knows, but it make him feel relaxed and good and that's all that matters.

Apart from that everything else is pretty much the same.

I am still doing the same job, it's not too bad at the moment.
I reached 15 years of loyal service in January and not a single f*ck was given but that's ok, I shouldn't have expected any different......

Mum has been helping me out with the banking, so pops up once a fortnight to take care of that and some folding of washing. 
Different for me to get used to but it's been good :)


G
x♥x

Awesome :)

The doctor we will be going to see sent an email this morning, to say that Small Man's consultation fee will be 50% of his usual fee

Wonderful :)

So very kind of him, and speaks volumes as to his willingness to help over profit

Ordinary GP visits are around $60 for 10 minutes, so $720 for an hour isn't over the top

Especially when there are very few doctors in this country with the necessary experience, and he is the best (or so they tell me!)

G
x♥x

~ Normality-ness~

I'm going to have to assume this is normal

The way I have felt for the last few weeks

The swinging emotion of the whole situation

Trying to appear 'the same'

Dealing with it

Staying on top of everything else at the same time

You would think I would be 'used to' all of this by now

I'm not

It's new disappointment

It's new frustration

It's new fear

Every. Single. Time.

Every new tried and failed 'cure'

The discovery of new complications


The knock backs


The set backs


The delays


The worry

The grief

That feeling of seriously not giving a rats arse about anything else.....

He is handling the whole thing so much better than I am.
When he is up (out of bed) he is in good spirits, mostly.
If you saw him between 3pm and 10pm you might almost not realise that he is any different if you didn't know him too well.

*sigh*

G
x♥x

p.s. Surely I could just sit here all day every day in my dressing gown? 

sMoOtH sAiLiNg

Things are going well, so far, touch wood.

Small Man has been very determined, and his willpower has been outstanding ~ even with friends over to visit and many temptations

He has lost at least 8kg already

I say 'at least' because we had an estimated starting weight based on the last time he was weighed, and the fact that he had been on a bit of a bender in the weeks leading up to the news of his operation ~ we are going by the last actual weigh in result as his starting weight, however I suspect we could easily add a few kg to that, making his weight loss greater than 8kg....if that makes sense :P
I was unable to weigh him here as he was heavier than my scales maximum, now, he is not :D

Possum has secured some work at Maccas, finally it took 3 interviews but he got there, it was the whole age thing.  Night shifts, which is what he wanted, and he is just the right age!
Not 100% sure when he starts.
We are still waiting to hear about the education dept job.
They usually take a few weeks to get back to you.
At least if he doesn't get an interview for this one this time, he has something to fall back on with Maccas.

I am adjusting to feeling so different about life.
I think I have been in a bubble for the last few years, in order to not feel too much.
I don't need to do that any more.
It's going to be interesting.


I have even decided I can celebrate my 40th birthday. 
I wasn't planning to.
It's very hard to explain, but I didn't feel like celebrating anything, very difficult to look forward when you are stuck in limbo.
Very difficult to want to be around others too much when you don't feel particularly positive, or feel anything much at all (except frustration/sadness/anger/guilt).
On the one hand you don't mind if they ask how things are going, on the other you dread it, because you have nothing to offer.

Only 2 weeks to go.............

G
x♥x 







 

~Nope~

Not much to say tonight, really.

Saw the ENT today to confirm that I am definitely not having bits of my throat/tongue/palette cut out...pleased we sorted THAT out

He tried to encourage me to continue with the exercise/calorie counting I tried for at least 2 months with absolutely NO RESULT WHATSOEVER......how disheartened do you think I felt at the end of it having lost not a single kg?
No normal person that goes from somewhat sedentary with a reasonable diet to 1.5 - 2.5km per day on the treadmill and a reduction in calories loses nothing at all, they just bloody don't.
I have no idea wtf is going on with me and I doubt I ever will.
Maybe I will feel motivated to keep going I don't know :(
Not sure why anyone would bother with those results.

Anyway I have organised the mouthguard with the dentist and have a few appointments lined up to get it happening.

No news on anything for Small Man.

He hasn't been too well over the last week, chest/sinus infection has made him feel pretty average.

No job for Possum yet. 

Yep, I'm very exciting tonight. Possibly tired and over it all!

G
x♥x

~Breaks, brakes~

I am giving myself a bit of a break today (mentally) as I seem to be either physically busy or mentally busy

The last week or so has been stressful with beds collapsing, immunisations, people quitting, new starters, more people quitting, big dentist appointments, Big A away for 2 weeks doing a course for work, trying to find jobs for Possum to apply for....
Not to mention the 'Million Paws Walk' that turned out to be 5km long, which would have been fine except I had my 'MC Hammer' Bonds pants on, the tops of your inner thighs rub together after a km or two.....ohhh the chafe.....ohhh owww...the dog loved her walk though, and plenty of money was raised for the RSPCA :)

Yesterday I caught up on some little jobs that were hanging over me, that medibank private claim that I should have done months ago but didn't because they didn't send me a dual claim form and I don't go into town much to get a claim form and you need a password to log in to the medibank website to get a claim form and Big A has the password and was away and it all got far too hard for my ADD brain to get around

In the end I rang Medibank to make sure my $1200 upcoming dentist bill was going to be claimable, and the nice young fellah on the phone emailed me a claim form, so that was done and dusted, posted....done.....next....

Now I have to get a specialist referral letter so that I can claim for my mouthguard, yeah sure specialist appointments are just growing on trees, so had to cancel the appointment I had this afternoon until I can get another letter.....

I also had photos for my Grandma that I had been meaning to sort out and post for months, did that too yesterday

And a new distributor agreement that needed signing and posting to H/O.....done

And Mum's birthday yesterday....all sorted, gifted and visited

♥♥ 

I had one of those 'OMG I can't do this any more' moments with work last night :(

Long story, I won't bore you with the details but I once again put forward some concerns via email about a recent decision that affects my team in a negative way, in fact I emailed several people and not one replied, and it's been weeks.

We now have a forum for discussion on the website and the same topic was raised, so I added my two cents worth, very politely.
The national sales manager responded and suggested I discuss with my manager, his tone was dismissive and he claimed to have 'answered this before' not sure what he meant there but he hasn't answered me personally directly on it.
I pointed out that I haven't been answered at all, and how the decision affects my team etc, and that I sent a copy of my concerns to my manager at the same time, and he hasn't responded either. 
The fact that he has only rung me twice since January doesn't make me want to run to him with any issues either.
I have been with this company for 13 years now and the way it's being run is disturbing at present.
I just felt so sad and defeated last night. 
The lack of support, people quitting (other managers), stress, changes, there will be no-one left soon!


I guess on top of the uncertainty with Small Man still, and all the different goings on recently I sort of stopped in my tracks for a bit.


I am going to just calm down with my expectations of my team as far as the new website.
I was wanting everything to be 'right' - but it's never going to be, so bugger it, I will do the best with the info they give me, it's not worth the stress.
I am usually really easy going and don't worry so much about the finer points. 
I think all of the changes have pissed me off so much that I was worrying over the small stuff. 
Not going to any more!!


I must try and get back to taking each day as it comes......finish what I start (most of the time)....


G
x♥x

~A Longish Time~

It's been a while between posts, I just realised

Life has been getting in the way!

So just a catch up post

Big A is away for a week fishing, he is then back for a day, then he goes to the Gold Cost for 5 days

I was invited to the Gold Coast but 

A: I can't juts pack up and go for 5 days 

and 

B: Staying with people I have never met? Are you serious? Ummm how about no!! One extra person staying with a family is cool, 2 is pushing it a bit

If I'm going to go anywhere it will be to take Small Man to Melbourne for appointments or what have you.

I haven't spoken to Big A since the earthquake in Japan - he would be feeling for them in a big way having been there recently, and falling in love with the country and it's people.  

He came home ready to move us all over there he loved it so much.  It's terrible news :(

I was starting to feel a bit better over the last few weeks, I felt about a 20% improvement from using the mouthguard - I was starting to get things done and not sleep during the day - then Small Man and I caught some sort of virus, it's a weird one, I had a migraine a day for 4 days before it hit - then the sore throat/glands up etc - temp - the works.  

It's really knocked me for a 6 and I'm somewhat frustrated :(

Small Man has missed a whole week of college.

I have had an excellent conversation with Small Mans teacher, who was so understanding and just 'got it' I was amazed - I didn't have to tell himn everything - like the tiny details, a lot of it he had picked up on himself.  

He 'saw' it for himself.  

And he has known him for a few weeks.  

Amazing!

He takes him for Media Studies, Drama and support group - he has a different teacher for Maths who was equally understanding.  

I feel quite relieved.

The letter from Dr Matt arrived yesterday, a copy has been sent to 'THEM' (you know, the govt dept that gives money to everyone else except those that should be entitled).

I just hope it's worded strongly enough.

I will appeal it if they knock him back again.

Possums 'Certificate 4 in IT' arrived in the mail - an end to another challenging year for him, but he's done it now! 

Wow - the list of things he had to pass to achieve this was LLLOONNNGGG! 

So proud :D

We happened upon a great job agency for Possum.

There was a job advertised that sounded great, but he didn't have the required amount of experience, but the experience he does have is relevant (education environment) - so we emailed and asked. This led to an email reply asking Poss to give them a call, which led to them asking for his resume, which led to an appointment the following day.

Yay! They are 'specialists in IT recruitment' perfect.

He can apply for the job in question, plus there is another that would be extremely suitable.

He has zero income at the moment, just lucky he is a saver and has enough money to last at least 6 months or more.

Work is busy, busy, busy.  

I had to make a few hard calls over the last few weeks, and had a few hard conversations, it just had to be done.  

Everyone knows where they are now, and I now have a team of 11 - soon to be 13 - to look after.

We have a meeting coming up on the 22nd of March - assuming it goes ahead - the National Sales manager is supposed to be coming down, along with our Region Manager.

I will have PLENTY to bring up.

A lot of underhanded bullshit going on, and I am over it.  

I am now in my 13th year with the company.  

I've been to hell and back with them and their choices (especially their choice of managers), I'm not going to sit back and let it affect me and remain quiet!

I had a small outburst on FB but of course I can't speak openly there,and it was pointless - you know that feeling though when you are so angry and frustrated you just boil over....

So that's it for me - time to get some more done around here....

G

x♥x

~Well Actually~

George - Not usually allowed on the bench but I made an exception - Max wouldn't leave him alone!

I don't feel too bad today - for once

I am alternating between the chin strap which looks extremely HOT and it's a good job no-one can see me in it....and the mouthguard which I can at least hide a little

I will see which one works best

The gauge? How I feel the next day

Have a weird elbow issue, seems I have a bit of arthritis or something in it.  I have had tennis elbow in the other elbow before, so this was unexpected.  It's actually quite painful.

I'd still rather have that in both elbows than the sleep problem

I have had to get tough with a few people this week with work

I really don't like it when I am forced to lay laws down etc, it's not how I do things

At the same time they are taking advantage/are completely audacious/think they are doing me a favour or something and had to be told otherwise

Not fair on those that are doing their job and doing it well

I have questioned their commitment - and only one of two has responded - the silence from the other speaks volumes!

Hoping to get some more done around here this weekend.

What I need is an army that I can direct to do each job, not because I don't want to do it myself I want it all done at once and get overwhelmed by it - where to start? 

Then I just don't get anything started or finished. 

I am my own worst enemy.

I do my own head in.

I want things to be super organised, I NEED it, I'm just having trouble getting  it all there.

I rang the hospital and they are still following it up.  The best bit of the conversation was that it didn't necessarily mean that Small Man isn't on the waiting list at all.  So we will see.

We have other things, like starting college this week, so we'll be distracted with that...

No news on the pension or Possums job as yet.

G

x♥x

~On mY miNd ToNiGht~

In no particular order...

I have to admit it.......I don't like football.

There, I said it. 

I fail to see the point in getting worked up over something you have no control over whatsoever. 

Yep I went there. 

And it's some sort of finals going on and the carry on.....it leaves me scratching my head and wondering why??

Sport itself is important, if people want to go to the footy good for them, I could never revolve my life around it though.

That's just me.....

*********

Possum's nerves have been bad recently, I think he needs an increase in his medication - we have tried a lower dose for several months and I don't think it's 'right'.

He had a slight muscle twitch or something last night - which resulted in part of a can of V being sprayed over the keyboard of my laptop.....he was terribly upset with himself.

He has been doing his 'habit' cough also, and a few other little things.....

*********

 I have been saying for a while that if I am still this unhappy with the company I work for after Small Man's operation I will be looking for another job.

I decided tonight, that before I do that I am going to approach one of the company founders and tell him exactly why it's going down the gurgler here - and how unhappy people are - and request to be part of changing that - this was not his vision for the company at all - it's not working - I may as well have a go at fixing it...if he'll let me.

This is why I haven't contacted him once since the changes came in, and the subsequent changes were introduced - I'm saving my say up for real change, improvement....even if just at a state level - so yep I'll be throwing my hat in the ring....

*********

Concerned for my cousin - my Aunty's granddaughter Gis.

She may be 18 but she was affected the most by Aunty Julie's death.

She was born to parents both addicted to heavy drugs, it has affected her ability to learn and slightly her ability to express emotion/understand (and I say it's quite mild, but still a worry).

She is still living with her Pa (my Aunty's husband) and is happy to be in her home, but she is lost.

Even though her mother has been clean for 5 or 6 years she still lives the life of a single person, and is more like a sister to Gis - not a mother.

Very sad situation, that has been held together by Aunty Julie until now :(

Luckily Gis is on facebook, I have added her and will try and stay in constant contact with her.

*********

I'm not going to write about the funeral.

*********

There is one couple that work 'for me' (so not implying that I am a manager I simply 'look after' the area they work in - bahaha!)  they are kind of frustrating me a bit, and putting my back up somewhat.  They were the only ones that thought only of themselves while we were away, just worried how it might affect them - yeah that doesn't fit in with my team I'm afraid.  It's not the first time, and they refuse to make small changes that would make things easier for themselves - would prefer to whinge when it blows up in their faces.

I am getting close to the end of my rope with it, it's aggravating me more than it should........

*********

Big A is off to Japan on Tuesday.....

So I'll be off then - to NOT watch the football - ha ha!

G

xx

So Anyway....

I rang for Possums blood test results today,
the receptionist said 'the doctor would like to discuss the results with me/us'.

That's fine - if I could get a bloody appointment.
I rang last Tuesday intending on making 2 appointments, one for each son.
The next possible appointment at that stage was next Thursday at 2.30pm - no good for Possum so made it for Small Man.

When I asked to make an appointment today to do the discussing of tests there wasn't one until the week after next!
So I will attempt the old 'ringing up at 8.30am' thing Monday and Tuesday to try and get an appointment.

Possum woke up with the flu this morning.
He has taken today off school, tonight and tomorrow off work...and we'll see about Sunday.
I figure with the way this flu has been going he'll either be much better, or worse within 48 hours.....

It seems I spoke too soon, my head feels terrible today also - I struggled to get up this morning - it feels like the flu coming back to me, which I heard is happening a bit with people.
Great.
Oh well, the house is still in fairly good shape from Tuesday/Wednesday so I can rest a bit today.

The news of the work changes has almost reached all of the other managers now - I have been overwhelmed by the support I have received - one manager (who is not even part of my team) sent me a message while I was on the road yesterday to ask how I was with it all, and offered me some of his area if it would help.
That's just an amazing gesture ~ wow!
He didn't have to do that at all, we really are a caring group that's for sure.

Meanwhile the lower than scum previous GM that ran our company into the ground (specifically so that he could then buy it cheap) has heard what is going on and is contacting others in the same position I currently hold - and offering them jobs with him!!!
His plans failed and he was forced to start his own company - when he left he took all of our information, contact details etc etc.

Oooohhh I HOPE he rings me - I have a piece of my mind just waiting for him.
For one thing I made him aware of the fact (twice) that I was being harassed by one of his managers , and he did nothing about it - so why would I want to go and work for him?
And he is clearly a very dishonest person - so no thanks - I'd rather go down with the ship I'm on.
If nothing else I am 100% loyal.

G
xx

Still Here...

Yes, still here....

Meeting, dinner and 'huge hews disclosure' went fairly well last night - as far as the food went anyway.

I was dreading the whole thing, as you know.
Probably because once they knew, that's it - it's happening.

GX (one of my managers) was totally bamboozled by the new structure - especially as to how it will work for him.
PB already knew - I told him last week - so he was prepped to help explain it all - I don't think having both of them in complete shock would work too well.

PB has been very supportive, he knows the impact of this on me and is trying to help as much as possible - he immediately suggested that I should 'take some of mine' - his area.
GX was told last night that he will need to give some of his to me - but I don't think it's sunken in.
I did have to leave the room when my boss was explaining that they would be no longer under my 'umbrella' - that was a bit hard to take.

So now I have the news to share with one other manager - and it's not good for her. She won't qualify and will have to come back under me, for less commission.

Gee I made one of the nicest lasagne's I've possibly ever cooked though!
I cooked everything Monday night - until the wee hours of Tuesday morning.
A chicken curry that they all raved about - I made up the recipe - I'll be making it again I think :)
And some apple crumble for dessert.
I made extra of each so that I won't have to cook tonight...yay!

I was well and truly ready for bed at 10.30pm - having only had 5 hours sleep the night before.

Today I have felt really, really good.
I'm not sure if it's just that the house is clean and tidy, that last night is now behind me or maybe a combination of both - but gee I have caught up on some small jobs and errands that I've been putting off/haven't had time for - and I have packed my order already which is quite early...

If only I could feel this switched on every day life would be a breeze!

No test results for Possum as yet - I have doubled the iron I am giving him and he seems to have picked up in the last 48 hours - I will ring for the results Friday.
The fact that they haven't called me must be a good sign.

So I'm off now to chill out until Big A gets home,
busy day again tomorrow,

G
xx

p.s. Oh and I've lost almost 4kg.... :)

<-> STRESSED <->

What a hell of a day, ordinarily I could handle it but today, not so much.

New boss ran an ad for us with my phone number.

She is so good for doing these for us, and paying for our advertising.....just not with my number.....not at the moment.

I have been inundated with calls - around 30 at least - it got so bad I have had to put the message bank on to take the calls.
So then when they get the message bank they keep ringing back, over and over and over - one rang 5 times in a row.

Umm...leave a freaking message.

I had one of my ladies tell me she may be finishing up as she has another job - so one big vacancy to fill - not so bad.
To be honest she was one that I felt I clicked with the least.
She did well, really well but always put this job last, behind everything else and had a lot of time off, but managed to keep up with the other part time jobs she has.
That's fine but the new job won't grant her time off when things get busy at home.

Then this afternoon when I realised my teams sales aren't enough to get our order shipped this week (the one that is leaving hasn't ordered, another missed a week due to genuine illness, another is away) I had one of my managers call - he needed to speak to me.
So long story short he is most likely finishing up - soon.
That means the re-allocation of his team.
Finding a replacement.
Or me taking the lot on myself.
That just wouldn't be practical with the way I feel at the moment.
One of his areas is 50 - 60km in one direction - and one of the areas I currently manage myself is 45km in the opposite direction.

So a whole bucket of stress - naturally I can sort it out, I expect these things, they happen from time to time - just right at this moment it's a weight I don't really need.

Oh and speaking of weight - I suppose DOCS will be on my doorstep to take me away or whatever - unfit parent it seems as Small Man has a weight problem.
Did you see this is in the news?


*sigh*

G
xx

Absent

I haven't been around here much in the last few days.

It's all fine - just don't want to be posting the same old trivial stuff, and don't have a lot of energy to put into comments just now - although I've tried to get around a few.

I'm clumsy and awkward and keep spelling my words all around the wrong way - grrr!
Yesterday I hurt my leg getting out of the car, then my arm coming out of the shop.....hopeless!!
Not badly just a minor cut on the leg and a knock to the arm - annoying though.

I'm staying off Facebook for a bit - just can't get into it at the moment.

The heat is affecting everyone, my new boss lives in the middle of the area where the bushfires have been in the last few days - a worrying time for sure.
She is o.k. - they were lucky.

Thank you everyone for your comments on my last post - I haven't caught up with my friend just yet - but I will for sure.
Another ten year coincidence - the last time we were in really regular contact would have been ten years ago.
We were back in touch a few years ago when her father died, and ran into each other some time after that (she didn't recognise me!!!!!!).

Lots happening this week - Z17 has his licence test Friday - so two lessons with the driving instructor one Tuesday and one Friday before his test to prepare him, some appointments to go to, work...the usual.

G
xxx

Ups and Downs

So, another week almost over.

Edging closer to Christmas........eeek!

I am still struggling physically.

I can't seem to shake it off.

Everything feels too hard at the moment - and I hate it.

I have all the stamina of a bowl of jelly - big time.

Big A has the flu - again.

Picked up at work from 'those that go to work with anything, and spread it around like wildfire'.
Don't they think?

It will be a miracle if I don't get it - poor thing has been coughing, and coughing, and coughing......all night.
Which probably has a lot to do with my current state - but then again it's been hanging around for the last few weeks.

I took Z17 to the GP on Tuesday - he informs me he is away next week - bugger - I'll ring and make an appointment for the following week anyway - but I'm SO used to being told there's nothing that can be done it's really off putting.
I will get the allergy tests done though - if I could ever get an appointment.

Mums retirement morning tea was lovely.
She was given a beautiful gold watch with a subtle touch of 'bling' (a few tiny diamonds - truly gorgeous and just the right choice for her), and a stunning gold bracelet also perfect for her.
The room was full - almost all of the staff came to the tea room to wish her well - some took it in turns manning the front desk.
Some of the ladies were in tears....it was really touching.
Her boss gave a short speech and said she was 'like a mother to everyone' that was sweet.

Mum gave a short speech also - she didn't need to use much of my speech as she had been and spoken with everyone she wanted to the day before, and thanked them personally.
In lieu of flowers she requested a donation to Ronald McDonald house in Victoria (they took such loving care of our family when Steph was in Melbourne Royal Children's Hospital) - I thought that was lovely - and very 'Mum'.

Small Man has had a slight weight gain this week - I knew it would be a gain - so was at least able to prepare him for it.
He seemed o.k. about it - I expected this after his Birthday, Pizza and Cheesecake! But then the gain may well have been greater without the Xenical.
Until this weigh in he had lost between 5 - 6kg (11 - 13lb) - which is pretty impressive!
That's o.k. - we are going to try harder this week, and catch up!

On the work front - BBB (big, big boss) has promised our region a huge party if we can exceed $60,000 in sales any week before Christmas - and....shhh it's not official yet.....we may well have cracked it this week - WOO HOO!!
Since I have already organised a big Christmas party for half of the state on the 19th December I would be happy with a contribution towards that!
And for BBB to attend of course - now that would be very special!
He is a lovely, lovely man - and our people would feel very privileged to be able to meet him.

Fingers crossed!

So that's about it from me - I'm hoping to find my spark somewhere.....SOON.

G
xxx

Allergy....Intolerance...whatever...

The last few days have been terrible.

These food intolerances are getting worse, and the trouble is I have no idea what the latest culprit is.

The definite list is: Almonds - allergic: Eggs, Coffee, Avocado - intolerant :( I love avocado......

Wednesday night we had grilled steak, mashed potato, broccoli, cauliflower and carrots for tea.

An hour and a half later I tried to pack my order.

Within 20 minutes I was ill.

Sweating, pale, shaking, horrible pain in my stomach and really nauseous.

I had to stop packing or risk throwing up in one of their boxes!

So after lying down for an hour and a half, then picking Z17 up from work I managed to get it done by midnight.

This is getting ridiculous.

I felt like this only not as bad on Monday and Tuesday as well.

Now no-one can say it's stress, as my major stresser has gone, we are a bit better off financially, Small Man is doing well at distance ed, Z17 has finished college and next year is all worked out, work couldn't be better....

It can't/shouldn't be wheat, I had toast late Wednesday night after I started to feel better (bugger the weight I felt sooooo unwell), and have had chicken burritos twice this week (I had them last night knowing I was o.k. with them last time) and nothing happened.
Cheese must be o.k.
Lettuce and tomato must be o.k.

So.

I guess I'll have to give in and go and get allergy testing done.
I'm assuming my GP can organise this.

I felt so bad Wednesday night I was too scared to eat Thursday just in case (luckily I had a few meal replacement shakes left) - well, I could only do that for so long eh!

Whinge whinge......

It's just an awful feeling, like Russian roulette.....just eating tea - I don't do living on the edge - no thanks!!!

So there's another appointment for me to make - bah - have made a Paed appointment for Z17, a GP appointment for Z17, dentist appointments for both boys and organised a prescription repeat over the phone AGAIN (they hadn't done this one from over a week ago when I first rang....) and that's just this week.

Moan moan!

G
xxx

Home Alone

That right!

Yep

I'm here - all by myself!

And have been since 11am.

No big deal you say?

It is when it's the first time in months!

Big A is at work and not home until 8.30pm,
Z17 is also at work and not home until 7pm,
Small Man has gone to the lakes with Grandma until Sunday.....

And haven't I 'got some stuff done'

Many, many small jobs and extras that I need a clear mind to achieve.

I do miss my 'baby' though......and would never wish him away - but the break will be good for both of us.

He'll be 14 next Saturday.

I hope 14 is going to be luckier for him than 13 has been......

G
xx

Terrifying!

I ambled out to the recycling bin this morning in the same haze that's been a fixture in my brain for the last few days.
I am almost there, destination in sight...
I look down and it takes a few further steps to register - SNAKE....

So there was some hooting and hollering at our house this morning,
woman and blue heeler bustling through the door to safety (the blue heeler just wanted to come in and eat the cat biscuits).

Big A wandered out for a look, caught a quick glimpse......and my slithery serpentish (is that a word?? it is now!) friend hasn't been seen again.

Bugger!

Trip to the doc over and done with.

I had a dilemma this afternoon though.

Small Man has been 'feeling more crap than usual' the last few days - I checked his throat - no better than mine only he has red spots at the back of his throat.

So what do I do?
Take him with me and hope the doc has time to look at his throat too?
Make another appointment for him?
Let him have my appointment and make another for me?

I decided I'd go - gotta fix the captain first or the ship won't function at all (in other words if I didn't get myself fixed I may not be able to get him to the doc).

I asked when I arrived if they could get Small Man in tomorrow - "Oooh noooo - we're fully booked for the rest of the week"......

Doc was running 40 minutes late.

I waited out in the car for 20 minutes - no point sitting out in the germ pool waiting room for any longer than necessary.

By the time I got in I was running a fever, tonsilitis (well we knew that), glands up etc etc.

He wants to see Small Man tomorrow.

He said to ring in the morning and if they get all 'fully booked...ooohh noooo' tell them he said he must see him tomorrow.
As he said, Small Man has been through quite enough without letting whatever he has get any worse.

He's a good guy.

Next time I get the gout happening I'm to go get some tests done.

We're giving the diet another month, then he'll look at changing my pill again.

I have my antibiotics and hope to be 100% by the end of the week!

I can get a lot done in ten minutes.....

Except snakes....

G
xxx

***P.S Sorry if I'm a bit hopeless with comments - leaving and replying at the moment - I am reading though! I Promise!***

Nearly chickened out....

It's hard to believe this was only 5 years and almost 20 kgs ago.........
Taken on Hamilton Island in 2003.
I almost chickened out posting this - but I thought nope - this is my goal!!!


I went from fearless helicopter rides......
To barely wanting to leave the house.....


It's amazing the effect weight gain has on your whole 'being'.
So far nothing I have tried has worked until now.
It is a sensible eating plan.....just very low carb, higher protein - hey you can even have a rasher of bacon!

If anyone would like a copy of the 7 day plan that I have email me (pooky_bear_me@hotmail.com) I'll scan it and send to you!

G
xxx

Am I biting off more than I can chew...

...time will tell.

It's amazing how things can change - just like that....
After the awesome news last week I thought that would be the biggest and best change for a while....but no!
I have been 'given' an area with 3 current distributors to look after personally.......and guess who lives there?......Toni!!!
So add to this the 4 people I was already taking over when AW leaves - and I will have the biggest team in my district.
What does this mean?
I will be waiting around for the courier who may or may not turn up Tuesdays, packing an order of several thousand dollars worth of goods, delivering the order to distributors in Deloraine, Westbury and Carrick, meeting with the Launny people once per week, putting orders on the computer, accounts and banking, constant phone calls........
Firstly these people need new agreements signed so that they can 'come on over' to the darkside my team!!
I have spoken with two already - one sounded fine and flexible, the other didn't sound too thrilled - one thing I have learnt over the years is that many distributors resist change - that's o.k. I'll bribe/hypnotise/make her be happy about it talk her around!

It's the timing that's the worlds biggest pain in the arse slight issue. I will be in Melbourne from the 15th - 18th July - placing their first order on the 14th - receiving it on the 22nd chucking it frantically into boxes getting it packed nicely - then hosting/catering for Christmas In July/Farewell for AW and another 10 people on the 23rd....sure....shouldn't be a problem......*cough*

Compared with the thought of having to work with the Almighty for any given period of time, this will be a piece of cake...or xmas pudding!!

Meanwhile Distance Ed is starting THIS WEEK.......I am meeting with Small Mans new teacher on Friday afternoon...

So I may be a little scarce until I realise I can't cope and give all of distributors to my current managers get this sorted and in a routine...all of it.....*sigh*

I may even surprise myself....
I'm sure Big A will be 'surprised' when he gets toasted sandwiches for tea every night - ha ha!!! Just kidding Big A!!!

G
xx