~ I'm Really Not Sure ~

Just how much can the human spirit endure before it starts to crumble?

I have been fairly resilient over the years

Losing my father devastated me, for a very, very long time.

I managed to put the pieces back together, but of course they are never as they once were

I haven't sat up in floods of tears for a very long time

Of course it's not every day that I visit my mother in hospital either

In fact I never have

The little lady has had one dose of antibiotics IN HER LIFE

That's it

Now she has breast cancer and a possible heart problem

Is this even real???


Add to this my support has been away with the Champix fairies

That stuff can be dreadful if you are in any way neurotic to begin with

Great for giving up smoking but possibly better for those that live alone

And don't work

Or have any friends/dealings with people in general.....


I am feeling guilty about the expense of these medications
I am feeling guilty about the length of my illness
I wonder what it would be like not to have to instruct people via facebook on how to be supportive?


I miss my Dad.

Sometimes I just want to go home*, just for a little while


xx G xx



*home being the house I grew up in, with my Mum and Dad. Not some trippy religious shit