...go to bed at 10.30pm.I did try!
Thinking back on some really old stuff today.
Things I haven't thought about for years,
and then a small fragment of a conversation brings it back.
Weird how that works.
None of it makes me feel bad,
or sorry for myself.
Just damn lucky to have weathered (and survived) so many storms in my life and still be able to love, learn, forgive, trust, have patience, allow 'new' people into my life and make a few more mistakes occasionally!
I think I am a wiser mother for it all, nothing much shocks or surprises me (aside from prolonged illnesses!), and I feel prepared for most of what teenage life brings to my table!
I think o.k. something bad/negative happened in the past - you get a few choices, to let it ruin your life forever (as if the original thing wasn't enough on it's own) - or take even the slightest positive from it and think to yourself the rest of my life is going to be extra positive & happy as possible, to make up for all of this crap.
Believe me, I could write a book on some of my life 'experiences' - none of them what you might call "good" - but why would I want to write about/relive all of that - and who'd want to read it!!!!
Unless I needed to get it out there, unless I had shelved it away in my mind without sorting it first - then I would. Unless it happened yesterday, last week, a few months ago when I would really need to write and gather my thoughts. Otherwise it's just like writing a story, about someone else though.
I wouldn't even write about it here, it's so 'dealt with' long buried and forgotten - except for the occasional reminisce, like tonight.
So no, I'm not just spieling off some crap I watched on Oprah, this is my own personal view on dealing with 'stuff'.
Everything takes time, and some things take a very long time to come to grips with - or maybe with practice we get better at letting go/sorting and categorizing our feelings & emotions?
I dunno!
Maybe we end up with a "scale of one to ten" type system in our heads, that as we get older makes ten seem much further away.
I'm glad I am making sense to myself tonight!
Maybe should have gone to bed at 9.30pm - and STAYED THERE!!
Today is, after all, tomorrows yesterday
(random, random, random!!!)
G
xx
5 comments:
was that my Text Message that set you off???
How is my fabbo portrait coming along? Supermodel material yet??
Yeah - but not intentionally of course!
It just struck me how a word or a phrase or something triggers memories, even long buried ones like that!
Have done some work on the photo, just needs final touch ups - hair is hard!!!
Small Brave Man went to school this afternoon!!!!
I have been running about like a blue arsed fly!!! Fabulous on 5 hours sleep!!
G
xxx
No, not random at all! And I LOVE that saying (Today is tomorrow's yesterday).... I've stolen it and written it on a post-it note to put on my computer monitor where I can see it... a great perspective on 'bad days'.
Just wanted to say I hope your friend goes well on the Zeldox. It's pretty damn good stuff! But of course, not everything agrees with everyone. And Zyprexa is notorious for weight gain - a real nasty. I have seen so many people simply double, triple, etc in size since starting it, it's scary. I was on it for about 2 years and gained around 4 dress sizes!!! I lost probably 2 and a half sizes just by stopping it!
Anyhow, rambling again... ;)
Hope your night got better. Take care of yourself.
Jac xXx
Thanks Jacqui!
Doctor told my friend that Zyprexa is only designed for short term use (usually for a breakdown), and can damage your liver if you take it for too long - great. I know it stuffs with the ways your body metabolises carbs.
She's starting Zeldox tomorrow - fingers crossed.
G
xxx
I agree, this last week has made me realise what is unimportant...and there is a lot of it
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