...you know what I mean - the 'friends' you only see when their lives are F*%ked and they have run out of people to lean on. Maybe I'm getting harsh in my old (he he) age - but I'm over it.
My husband (the Big A) reckons I'm a bit of a looney magnet, maybe he's partially right...no hang on he's not allowed to be right about stuff like that...kidding!
I'm so sick of giving up hours of my time for people that don't want to help themselves.
I have many close friends that have been n my life for years, but then I tend to get the drifters, that come in for a while, drain me of coffee, free counselling, readings etc....only to 'sort things out' with their partners/boss/mother in law.....then I don't hear from them until the next time. I may send a message to ask "how's it going?' and don't get a reply for days.
I've decided I'm going to start giving bad advice, or none at all - since they never actually follow my suggestions that often, unless it suits them. I may even buy some homebrand coffee to wash it down.
Am I being horrible, I feel I give as much as I can to others, my expectations of people are very few - just the basics, if you make arrangements to visit me, let me know if you're not going to turn up. A reply to my sms messages at least some time would be great, even if it's just a quick one to say 'Hey!'. Don't say you're going to ring me on a specific day at a specific time if you have no intention of doing so.
These things rattle me so much because I am prone to disorganization - so I put extra effort into being home when I'm expecting someone, and make sure I'm not in the middle of doing something as I'm not great with being interrupted when I'm working - not that anyone else would really know this it affects me on the inside, and slightly as I am able to hide it! So with all of this preparation it really lets me down if I'm waiting around all day/night for someone to show up.
I have been let down like this in the past, years ago when my eldest son was born I didn't know many people, didn't have a drivers licence (didn't get it until I was 21) and was quite lonely and isolated. I had a friend at the time that would tell me she was coming to visit at a specific time, and then wouldn't turn up - this would really upset me - the Big A was driving a cab at the time and so was gone for 12 hours at a stretch.
I don't know, I'd never treat anyone like it - isn't it just basic manners or something?
Or am I expecting too much and being in a difficult bitchy mood?
I feel like I have enough on my plate just at present.
My little man L who is 12 has been sick for 12 months, and has missed possibly 6 - 7 months of school all up.
I am trying to fit my work around him being at home (he is currently doing three afternoons of school per week) - take care of him as well as I can, try and encourage him to do some of the work that's being sent home (pointless really, if he was up to doing the work he'd be at school, but I get where they're coming from) - do all of the doctors visits/school phone calls/counsellors etc - take care of Z my 16 year old (who has ADD and still needs help remembering stuff and organizing himself) in grade ten with work experience coming up, decisions on grade 11 and 12.....support the Big A in his final year of an adult apprenticeship..... keep this house in some sort of order - it's a biggish house with a half finished garden that I can't even look at as it's frustrating - obviously backyard blitz lost my address or something (he he!) also a naughty Blue Heeler that insists on digging everything up.........
Feel better having written all of that down,
thanks for listening,
G
xx
8 comments:
I have friends like that, and it is really annoying. I always try to keep in touch with my good and "true" friends, but it is terrible when It is always me doing the "friending". Yet when there is a problem they always come whinging and complaining to me.
Hope things improve with your boy, it was hard enough when bub was isck for a week let alone a year!! Poor kid, keep going. In my prayers, Toni xoxo
Thanks so much Toni - I think I'm just having 'one of those days' - felt much better to spill it all out, it's been a tough year and being let down by 'friends' is the last straw! You're such a sweetheart! How did you go at the allergist? G xx
All on the blog...xoxo
Toxic friends they are called. I used to think it was bad when you stopped being mates with someone, but now I know it is normal. When I got divorced, I had a ' friend ' say to me " I don't approve of what you have done to Mark ( my ex ) ". I said ' you never liked him ( which she didn't ) and I thought you were my friend not his '. But she said ' no you shouldn't have gotten divorced '. Hmmm.
Hi Toni - should've checked your blog first - DOH! It's great that you know now - my mum works at a pathology lab, she was saying that it is suggested not to give bubs under 12 months of age wheat, egg or tomato - no-one told me any of that when my boys were little - although I didn't give them wheat (saw a program on t.v. about it). They seem to go on about what not to eat when you're pregnant a lot more. G xxx
Hi Sev - I think some 'friends' get a kick out of you being in an unhappy relationship, even if they don't like you partner (misery loves company). One of the 'toxic' one's (whose life/marriage is falling apart) tried to tell me her friend did a reading about me and that 'basically my marriage was over, we (Big A & I) just weren't prepared to admit it' - this was more to do with her wanting me to be in the same situation she is in. People are soooo weird at times! I think some come into your life for a 'season' and some for the long haul! G xxx
Did you tell your "friend" that the spirit's won't let a "friend" do a reading about someone without their permission? Strange people out there!! Do you do readings do you? Do you do them via email? My Mum does them, but it is to hard reading for a family member when you know what you want for them. xoxo
I think they're both on their own tangent - maybe they think the 'rules' don't apply or something. I do readings sometimes, but I'm not comfortable passing on info that people won't want to hear (won't give negatives, but advice on what to avoid - carefully filtered info really!) - I really think if you are doing a reading with someone, about someone else you tune into the person that's with you, and their messages rather than the person you're meant to be reading 'about' if that makes sense.
I must be a bit of a gypsy, as I use ordinary playing cards mostly, and Doreen Virtue Goddess Guidance Cards (I like these 'cos they are all positive). G xx
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