Mum called me today.
She talked quite a bit more than usual about her own health and feelings....
Then told me she has been watching 'Find My Family' on tv.......
....and asked if I had ever sought information on my birth parents!
Well, I managed to pick my jaw up from the floor and answer...'Yes...'
She then asked if I had found them, or had any contact.
'Do you really want to know?' I ask
'Yes - having watched the show I really understand this from both sides now and I am o.k. with it'
So I proceeded to fill her in on ALL of it
ALL of the stuff I haven't been able to tell her for the past 17 years - because when I told her I was requesting my information she wasn't ready, and asked please not to tell her what I found out.
So the two separate lives I have been living for 17 years has finally come to an end.
I am relieved.
But still won't be rubbing it in her face - I will be careful how much I discuss NM etc until she gets used to the idea.
I think it helps that she now knows I have known NM for 17 years and nothing has changed between us - not one little bit.
I spent a lot of time reassuring her that I don't consider them my parents in any way whatsoever, and that NM has often said Mum and Dad were meant to be my parents and she couldn't have chosen anyone better for me.
It does make things easier also with the NF situation, because as much as I don't want him in my life I'm pretty sure I haven't heard the last of him.
I told Mum about the time he turned up here for 4-5 days once, and how much of a nervous wreck I was.
Mum felt so sad for NM when I told her the story of when she was pregnant with me and no-one knew, and how she organised my adoption on her own, and how it was never spoken of again after she went home...never...until I turned up 20 years later.
What can I say - my life isn't exactly ordinary eh!
If I were reading this blog I would sometimes wonder if it wasn't fictitious!!! Ha ha!
I can guarantee it isn't!
G
xx
6 comments:
My adoptive mother never wanted us to search for our biological parents. So, I didn't until after my mom (the one who raised me) passed away.
I can't speak for anyone else - but I would be so proud if you were my daughter. You are amazing.
What a huge relief for you to be able to share this with your mum at long last, G !
Evil Twins Wife ~ It's a hard place to be in isn't it - I don't think non adoptees could ever understand what we go through sometimes
Lou ~ What a truly lovely thing to say :) You really make my day - often!
Jayne ~ It is a huge weight off ~ I'm not good at keeping secrets like this, and wonder how I managed to do it for so long.
I'm pleased also she found out by finally wanting to know, and not accidentally.
G
xxx
This kind of thing is never easy. I know a couple of my friends who are adopted all had struggles with bridging the divide between their adopted families and their birth families.
I'm so pleased for you that your mum is ok with this now and you don't have to keep your lives seperated from one another anymore.
WOW !!!!
This is awesome and I am truly pleased for you.
Having lived a bit of the surreal myself, I can well believe this. Every word.
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