Well I'm back and trying to get life 'back to normal' - well as normal as life gets around here that is.
More on the 'Hub' story later...
Gee I've been saying that a lot lately!
Pop's funeral was a lovely tribute to a wonderful man in his 100th year.
No religion - whatsoever.
It was a short service, a private funeral so a nice intimate group of immediate family.
My sons haven't attended a funeral before, so it was a 'better' one for their first.
There were tears but not the devastation of funerals I have attended in the past, which was nice.
We had lunch at Big A's Auntys house after, it was nice to catch up with them all, but I was my usual quiet self in the group - listening and observing more than talking.
A twist was thrown into my already overwhelming week Tuesday night.
I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
I received a message from my natural mother (NM) to say my natural father (NF) was in Hobart hospital for the second time in 2 weeks.
How ironic that we were in Hobart at the time!!!
I didn't even know he lived back down there.
Anyway NM's sister works at the hospital, she wasn't allowed to say why he was there, but that he was and that he's been talking about me a lot.
*sigh*
The story with him goes - long story very short - he first found out about me when I was 25 (her choice). I met him back then, but the boys didn't know who he was.
He kept in touch, but I was a bit surprised when I got to know him.
He is a big drinker, smokes dope and gambles.
He has to be the centre of attention all the time - gets all over me and generally makes me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.
He would ring up drunk quite often.
He also has 3 other children - 1 in New Zealand, 2 in Queensland - all boys, I am the eldest.
There could also be another daughter - he's not sure.
He refuses to respect the fact that Mum doesn't know I've had contact with my 'other family' and at the time the boys didn't know either - too many secrets for them to keep from Grandma, too complicated.......
He actually made the statement once that:
'Perhaps when your Mum dies you can tell the boys then'
and called Mum and Dad my 'foster parents' - I could have strangled him.
He has a complete lack of respect for the only people I will ever know as my parents.
NM on the other hand has nothing but gratitude for my parents, she said she could go through the phone book from A-Z and not choose anyone better.
So anyway he has been out of contact for a few years now and I was glad.
If he finds out the boys know who he is I will never get rid of him.
I don't mean that to sound horrible, it's true.
When I told the boys the 'NF' that turned up and invited himself to stay that time is actually your natural grandfather they were a bit horrified - he is everything I am not.
NM just let me know so that I'd know, there is never any pressure from her.
His family were a different story trying to force me to be part of his life, I'm so surprised they haven't rung me.
The weird thing is that I actually felt guilty last night for not going to see him
I have NFI why.
Maybe it's just the way I was raised, that was the 'right thing to do' - but if I did it would open up another can of worms I just don't need right now.
My life was never destined for simplicity was it............
G
xxx
7 comments:
Gina, I actually believe that at the moment everything that pops up is for a reason...to be dealt with. On an energetic if not physical level. Take a close look at whats been going on for you and Im sure you will find all sorts of 'skeletons' that have been buried inside you....just deal with them, then they will be gone for good! Truth :)
xxx
Bloody sounds like my life! Probably Michelle is right, though....ARGH! xx♥
I feel for you. Sorry you're having to deal with all this.
A challenging time, to be sure, but something that is sure to bring you all closer together. Blessings of love and light to you and yours.
Michelle ~ Thank you. True...but the only way of dealing with NF is to tell him I dont want him in my life...meaning having contact and I really don't want to :(
Natalie ~ Amazing how it's been just one thing after another.....
Evil Twins Wife ~ Thank you so much, I'm o.k. it just feels like it's going on around me at the moment...and I'm not really here...if that makes sense!
Wendy ~ Thank you. Yes it certainly will :)
G
xxx
Doesnt have to be physical...but i see you got there already :)
Michelle ~ It just hit me like a tonn of bricks - I'll never be/don't want to be what he wants, and the guilt and stress he brings to my life just isn't worth it.
G
xxx
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