What to say...

Well....

A very up and down week for me.

It feels like I have been taking very small steps just in case the ground suddenly falls away in front of me....

Thursday ended up frantic

SD's orders were two days late arriving - by orders I mean around 10 BIG cartons full of products each to be broken down and packed to individual distributors - one distributor might have 30 - 70 items - and it has to be 'right'

Not good when you have distributors waiting to collect their orders to pack and prepare to deliver to their customers (and often delivery to customer day is Thursday - oops)

So Thursday afternoon was spent helping PB pack his order and meet with his team (which is always great, I offered some pointers on different things - they got it - and went away very motivated - excellent!)
Thursday late afternoon - early evening was spent packing TW's order, then delivering an order to my 'number one' distributor - not number one cos she's my favourite - number one because she started when I did, and moved over to my team when started as manager.

This was really great for me, she (SM) is 72 years old, has worked virtually every week since she started and has 'it' - she knows the drill it's something you can't teach and is invaluable in this business. She is also very easy to spend time with, and extremely loyal. Being a mother of 8 and grandmother to many she also pulls out the Grandma card on me sometimes!
I remember her telling me I looked like I needed 'a good feed', and that she was worried about my weight a few years ago - no chance of that now - but back then maybe she had a point - at 54 kilos (I'm currently 74kg)
SM is a great example of why I've fought so hard to stay in this job and put up with so much.

Friday I receive the dreaded weekly call.
This came early 2.30pm- SHE was supposed to ring me last - around 5pm - oh but she had trivial shit to throw - so lets get in early and enjoy ourselves with it.

Nothing worth repeating, but 'issues' to do with the courier relating to my guys she had great pleasure in telling me about (as it was negative - psycho).
Also another agreement from 'GA' that head office received that hadn't been filled in 'correctly' in actual fact she hadn't advised us not to use that agreement any longer, and that it needed to be printed off the web.....so who's not training who? Not to mention the fact that English is the guys second language, I think he does a brilliant job.

Some of the old tone came back in - not much but enough to piss me off.
What's it been, a whole week - well done ya loser.

BBB is KIDDING himself if he thinks she'll change - I know it won't happen - the team knows it won't happen - does SHE really think it will happen - kidding yourself love.

I've been/felt very drained/negative/slow/un-enthused/fat/unmotivated (except for Thursday) and basically a pain in the ass.

I felt quite agoraphobic for most of the week too - and so Friday night had to FORCE myself to go to the supermarket - it was quite crappy - the fluoro lights did my head in, but I kept going anyway or we may just starve!

I even got to the stage through the week of thinking about people that are no longer in my life (thank god) and reminiscing over how much they pissed me off/hurt me/hurt my family - very sad individual - usually I wouldn't care to think twice about them.

I recognise all of these signs....
I know what it means....

Waking up crying AGAIN Saturday morning.........

But then - today felt better,
I managed to get up and dressed at a reasonable time,
caught up on heaps of little jobs around here....
We went out for tea with PB and kids tonight to somewhere different.

The kids were neither here nor there, we only had Small Man with us - poor old Z16 at work and missed the night - again....
PB and the Big A loved it and want to go again (mind you they started having a 'few' beers here at 1pm - and we went out at 6.30pm so anywhere may have looked good - haw haw!).

One of the band played guitar for Aussie Crawl so he was pretty good,
Big A and PB were - eh - the loudest in the place clapping and cheering, so the guitarist came over and introduced himself and had a chat with them.....they were most impressed!

Anyway - tomorrow's another day - I hope I wake up in a 'make of it what I can' mood - I'm trying to kick this shit as hard as I can. And if that doesn't work I'll go see the doc.

G
xx