I just wanted to add my Mum is a loving grandma to my boys (when she sees them).
I think they were just so busy 'teaching us a lesson' when the boys were younger (we got the BIG statement from SF when we were having Z17 that it was us having the baby, not him and Mum and blah blah - purely because of our ages when he was born).
That's fine, we can proudly say we have done it ALL on our own.
The boys are none the wiser to all of this, I have told Big A how I feel ~ and discussed with my lifelong friend last night.
She remembers quite clearly that it was like pulling teeth for them to mind the boys.
Z17 has stayed the night at mums house approx 7 - 8 times in 18 years - under extreme circumstances (when my father died, when Small Man was born etc).
Small Man has probably only stayed 4-5 nights at the most and he's 14.
My brothers little girl has stayed 4 times in the last 6 months........
My argument is that my brother only has his daughter for one night, every second weekend - that's it - so unless he had a special occasion why does he need Mum to look after her?
I remember nights when the boys were little - that we have been around to their house for a family dinner, and one or both boys have fallen asleep in the spare bed - and I've had to wake them up and drag them out into the cold..........
Anyway - I won't be saying anything - there is no point now.
Mum has been over twice to visit since she retired (by herself, during the day) and she took Small Man out for lunch on one of the days. He also went to their shack for two nights a few months ago.
For Z17 it's a little too late now.....................................
I think my actual frustration with this is the power my SF has over my Mum....and why won't she stand up for herself.
I will never understand what she sees in him.
It is also a time where I miss my Dad so, so much.
G
xxx
10 comments:
If it looks like dog shit... and it tastes like dog shit... it IS dog shit!!!
Why do most parents favour the boys in the family???
Isn't it better all round to give your kids a break from their kids?
AND grand kids are always little angels for their grand parents..
My Mum favoured her youngest daughter's children in a huge way.
(Didn't get both of them any where.)
It does hurt BUT it just means your 'Mum' is weak and lets SF [and that doesn't mean Step Father!!!] make the rules for her and she'll just go along with it 'cause it's less hassle for her... god bless her!!
get yourself better, G... in a hurry!
Dell.
Hello what a nice blog you have, I've only just stumbled in.
I have discovered ...(for me) the best way to deal with who does what with whom or how many times they did whatever ....is like counting/measuring and is a sure fire way to feel ...less than or inferior or like life is unfair ..
And the only way I've been able to move through that to a more peaceful place for me and my children has been to live in this moment only.
I am quite fierce that they not experience the sense that they were not as important as anyone else or even worse that they were wrong somehow.
Never count. Has helped.
Only this moment, this visit, this day counts ..what happens for anyone else is none of my business.
Many blessings to you.
Dell ~ You're quite right :) And thank you - I'm trying, feeling a lot better today touch wodd :)
Sarah Lulu ~ Welcome :) Unfortunatley you've caught me on a rare rant - usually I do let things go, rarely hold a grudge, look forward and try not to look back, eternally optimistic etc. This was just bad timing for me being really unwell this week. My boys don't know how I feel about this, and my disappointment was purely for them, not myself.
I thought I would write how I felt here, to let it out, discuss it and let it go :)
It's a great way to be, living in this moment - it's what I usually do too :)
G
xxx
family - what interesting people.
it's too bad this sorta thing happens and it happens all too often.
on the bright side, you won't be like this with your grandchildren!!!
Warriorwitch ~ Aha! You know me too well :) I will be most UNLIKE this with my grandchildren.
It seems pretty trivial I guess, and I don't get irritated very often, this one just got me for some reason.
G
xx
you are one of the most exceptional mothers i have ever encountered and so i say blessed be to what ever got you to this point- the good and the bad.......there is no one like you Gina- so special- those boys would be lost without you xx
Lisa ~ Thank you so much.
That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me - ever - and I mean that.....
G
xxxx
I can completely relate to how you feel.
I had to beg my parents for help and was more often than not, told no.
My sister on the other hand.. well what ever her heart desires is hers. Even though she now lives in Austria, when she visits for months on end, the way she and her children are treated compared to me and mine makes me sick, It breaks my heart. I haven't even told my family I'm pregnant now, there's no point :( They'll find out soon enough.
One day your mum will want to see her grandsons and it'll be a Cats In The Cradle moment of awakenings for her.
Window of opportunity has closed, move along Granny, nothing (and no one) to see anymore.
Tania ~ it's sad isn't it. While the favouritism isn't totally obvious, and we have quite an age difference between my brothers child and mine - I still notice it.
I'm pretty sure mum doesn't realise how it looks. What a shame you can't be excited with and share your news with them....
Jayne ~ It's almost to that point now, my eldest is 18 this year - hanging out with grandparents is not quite what it would have been when he was 8 or 10!
G
xxx
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